


Lost Without You

by AvatarBeau96



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Drama, Drug Use, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 68,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24457888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvatarBeau96/pseuds/AvatarBeau96
Summary: Just as Aang and Katara are about to begin their family, a tragedy takes Katara's life as she delivers their first child. Her loss spirals Aang into a deep depression, and he has turned to numerous resorts in order to ease his pain. But as his life sinks deeper and deeper, it's up to his best friend and brother-in-law, Sokka, to turn his life around. But things are difficult with the Avatar-he is reluctant, refusing to change. Even worse, his daughter has never met her own father. Will Aang's friends be able to reunite this separated family, or will Katara's loss tear them apart forever
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Kudos: 4





	1. That Fateful Night

**Author's Note:**

> Like many of the stories I am reposting here, this was originally written between 2012 and 2013. For reasons that I do not remember I abandoned it sometime after November of 2013 and had not returned to it since. When it was posted on FanFiction.Net I was given both praise and criticism for this work, but I decided to stick by it regardless and will be finishing it with new chapters as I post this now, here on AO3. This work is inspired in part by Aang's actions in "The Desert" shortly after Appa was stolen, as well as the final arc in "Clannad: After Story." It was written at a time when Kya was considered the first-born of Aang and Katara's children, and I have taken some of my own liberties in developing the characters beyond canon itself. I hope you all enjoy reading this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it!

* * *

**Chapter 1:  
** **That Fateful Night**

Soft flakes of snow fell down over Republic City, covering the capital in white. It had been going on like this for days, and the city was practically buried in snow. The water was as cold as ice, so not many boats were out at sea. Not many people were on the streets either. The city was practically paralyzed, but in honesty, the city was at its most beautiful. I loved the city when it was like this. I always loved how the snow rested on Air Temple Island. It was like living in the South Pole, in the home that Katara and I had lived in for so long. I had finished building Air Temple Island about ten years ago. And now look where I am—age twenty-eight with a baby on the way...

Yeah, you heard that right—a baby. Katara was eight months pregnant. Her brother, Sokka, and his wife Suki was here with Hakoda watching over her. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous. How could I not be? We had been waiting for this moment for so long... And to think that soon I was going to be a father! Luckily, as I mentioned before, Sokka was there to help me keep my sanity.

At the time, I stood on the docks of the island, looking out onto the sea as the fluffy snow rained down softly, wearing my traditional Air Nomad robes with a small beard resting on my chin. I had this huge but calm smile on my face as I waited. I knew that Katara wasn't due for another month, but I just couldn't wait. I even had some of the best healers in the city here as well, making sure that everything went the way it should. Katara claimed that I was paranoid when I did stuff like that. She assured me that everything was fine... but sometimes, I got the feeling that everything was not fine.

"Aren't you cold out here?"

I turned and saw the love of my life standing just behind me in her thick blue parka and the orange scarf I had bought for her a while back. Her stomach was huge, as it was carrying our child. We had picked out two names for it—one fit for a boy, the other fit for a girl.

I smiled at her, "Nothing compared to winters down south..." I answered while approaching her.

She invited me into her arms, which I accepted as she replied, "You are right about that."

Suddenly I felt something move down near my chest and I jumped softly. I immediately realized what it was as I looked into my wife's beautiful, crystal blue eyes.

"Looks like Kya's kicking mighty strong, huh?" she said joyfully.

I made a playful smile as I raised a brow, "Kya? Surely you mean Tenzin, don't you?"

She playfully crossed her arms at me, "Even you and your Avatar powers can't predict whether it's a boy or girl."

We were toying with each other, just as we had done when we were just dating. Our love hadn't weakened at all since they became an official couple. Sure, we had our own ups and downs, but doesn't every couple? Even we weren't perfect...

"Neither can your waterbending! How can you tell it's a girl?"

She began to rub her belly, "I just have a good feeling, that's all..."

Again, I smiled as I leaned down onto the ground and began moving my hands gently across her belly, feeling for more kicks. Katara grunted softly as the baby kicked inside her, and all I could do was smile gleefully.

"The baby's strong..." I commented. "Feels like an airbender to me!"

Katara playfully crossed her arms again as she stared down at me, "And how would you know what an airbender feels like inside a woman's stomach?"

I got up and gave her a peck on the lips, "I wouldn't... But I'm hoping it is."

"And even if it isn't an airbender?" she questioned with worry in her voice and eyes.

"Airbender or not, I'll love it either way," I reassured her with a promise.

I meant what I said. Although one of our reasons for having a child was to try and repopulate the Air Nomads, that wasn't our reason for wanting a child. We wanted to raise a family—whether they were airbenders, waterbenders, or even non-benders, we would love the child that we brought into this world. Katara wanted to have three children, and I had hoped to have twice that amount, but Katara had firmly stated that, for now, we should just stick with three. But I didn't complain a bit. I completely agreed with her—three children even remotely related to me would clearly inherit their father's wild side from my days of youth.

Suddenly, we both heard a voice call out to them.

"Are you guys trying to get colds?" called Sokka, the representative for the Southern Water Tribe on the Republic Council, from the other side of the docks. He had what little hair he had on his head in a Warrior's Wolf Tail and has a short, thinly trimmed beard on his chin. He was also wearing a parka, but his was in a much darker color.

Suki stood beside him, wearing a similar parka but in a dark, grassy-green. "Come on, dinner's ready!" she told us both.

"All right," I called back as I held out my hand for her to take, which she gladly did as we headed down the docks and up onto the island.

* * *

Back up in the dining room of the temple, our entire family sat at a low, dark brown polished table on brown pillows. Sokka and Suki sat on one side of the table, Hakoda sat at one end, and Katara and I sat at the other end. The table had been set with bowls of rice and plates of various types of vegetarian food. One thing Sokka had learned to deal with while staying with Katara and I was eating vegetarian food. Hakoda had gotten used to it on the first go, and found it really helped him keep in good shape at his increasing age. Suki didn't mind it at all either—it wasn't much of a change to her old eating habits. Katara had committed to eating vegetarian food shortly after she and I had started dating. Actually only a year passed before she was insisting to become a vegetarian. I tried to convince her that it wasn't necessary and that I had nothing against her eating habits since it was part of her culture. But, of course, she stayed committed to the idea. Sometimes she was stubborn like that, but hey, I'm not complaining...

As always, before eating each meal, our family said a prayer. We bowed their heads before each other and our meals and joined hands.

"We are grateful for this delicious food, for our happiness, for compassion and life," said I in prayer.

After that, we began to eat, sharing small conversations that led from one thing to another. The subject of mine and Katara's upcoming child was a major topic in each conversation. No matter what, they all somehow led up to our up and coming child.

"So, Katara, you ready to become both a housewife _and_ a mother?" Sokka unexpectedly asked.

I raised an eyebrow, "Hey, I do my fair share around the island! I don't make her do all the work."

"Good," Sokka crossed his arms, "Because if you did, you and I would need to have a little talk."

Hakoda couldn't help but laugh, "Sokka, you're her brother, not her father."

"I'm just looking out for my little sister..." he said defensively, crossing his arms.

"I can look out for myself, Sokka. Besides, Aang and the Acolytes take good care of me..." she turned to me, "Especially the healers that you have hovering over me after every meal and activity."

"I do it because I care," I assured her with a child-like smile.

"Sometimes a little too much," she murmured with a grin.

"So...?" Suki questioned.

"So... what?" her sister-in-law questioned.

"So, _are_ you ready to become a mother?"

Katara acted like she was searching her mind for an answer, grasping her chin and looking up into space. "Eh, not really..." she answered. "This entire pregnancy was a mistake."

"WHAT?!" I cried aloud, horrified, as I practically jumped into the air. The entire table laughed, catching on to Katara's intentions.

"I'm kidding, Aang!" she reassured me, giggling.

I frowned grimly, "Not funny, honey..." I retorted. "Hey, that rhymes!"

Suki rolled her eyes, "Nah... really?"

I then eyed his sister-in-law, "You are becoming a lot like your husband, you know that?"

Sokka quickly wrapped his arm around the woman beside him and pulled her close against him, "Isn't that great?!"

"More like a nightmare come true..." Hakoda retorted in a smiling mutter.

Sokka's eyes popped out at his father, "And now you are becoming a lot like them!"

Everyone laughed. Just an average night on Air Temple Island... One big happy family—that's exactly what we were. We had all gone through some pretty rough times together. Like, a year or so ago, Sokka and Suki tried having a child themselves. But just ten weeks into the pregnancy, Suki apparently had a miscarriage. Sokka and I had some of the best healers try and figure out what went wrong. In the end, they found nothing and just found the miscarriage a twisted act of nature. When it happened twice again, that was when Katara stepped in, as she was now known for being the best healer in the world. Unfortunately, Katara found the problem. For some strange reason, Suki couldn't have kids. There was a lot of twisted energy in her stomach. Katara couldn't really explain it, but the feeling of the energy just sort of told her the bad news. Then, when Katara found out she was pregnant... Well, Sokka wasn't exactly the most thrilled about the news, and I admit, for the first time in my life, I had never been so afraid of him.

* * *

_Katara and I were making a visit to the South Pole to see Katara's father, Hakoda. Sokka and Suki also took time off from their jobs in order to come as well. Katara had been more thrilled to see her father than in previous times. Sure, she was always happy to see her own flesh and blood but unknown to everyone else, she had come because of something... well, life-changing._

_Katara and I walked through the door of the large igloo, where we found the chief and his son waiting for us._

" _We're here!" I called as we set our suitcases down._

" _Well, it's about time!" Sokka exclaimed as he got off his seat and approached his sister and me, his brother-in-law. He gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, then moved on to me. "Hope you haven't been giving my little sister any problems..."_

_I had shrugged, "Eh... Not lately."_

_Sokka raised a questioning brow, "What do you mean, 'not lately'?" he asked threateningly._

" _He's kidding, Sokka... When will you learn that?" Suki spoke up as she approached her husband from the kitchen._

_Sokka moved away from us both so that Hakoda could greet us. He gave Katara and I hugs and welcomed the two of us back home, adding that Suki would probably be done with dinner sometime soon._

" _So, how have things in Republic City been, Aang?" asked Hakoda as we sat down._

" _Eh, pretty good, I guess. Crime's been pretty low... Really, we've just been focusing on a bunch of witnesses claiming that they were being 'controlled by a mysterious force'."_

" _Sounds like bloodbending if you ask me..." stated Sokka. "But really we've got no proof and most of these 'witnesses' are a bunch of supposed criminals—ones we got no evidence to prosecute them with. So for all we know they could either be getting paid off to do this stuff, or there really is some 'force' controlling them."_

" _What's weird is that it seems that these acts are being performed in broad day, so we can almost immediately rule out that it's bloodbending," I explained to my father-in-law.  
_

_Hakoda made a contemplative hum, then turned to his daughter, "What do you think of it, Katara? I mean, no offense, but you are the only bloodbender we know."_

_Katara just shrugged as she broke eye contact, "In my experience... you'd have to be a very experienced bender, and it'd have to be while your bending is at its most powerful, moreover during a full moon," she turned back to them. "That's what I learned from Hama. But, personally..." she broke eye contact again, "I don't exactly study it..."_

_I knew how hard this was on her. She hated bloodbending, and ever since these claims began, people have been coming to her about it. I rested a hand on her shoulder to comfort her, "We know... We understand."_

" _Thanks..." she said woefully before getting up, "I'm going to go help Suki in the kitchen."_

_With that she headed into the kitchen, leaving us three guys to sit around and talk._

" _So, any children on the way?" Hakoda suddenly asked me._

_I had been completely struck by the question with awkwardness. As far as I knew, were weren't expecting any children, but still... How was I supposed to answer a question like that after we had been married for about ten years now?_

" _Not that I'm aware of..." I answered awkwardly._

" _Huh... I'd think that by now you two would be multiplying like rabaroos..." Sokka retorted with a grin as he crossed his arms._

" _You know, this is your sister we're talking about!" I cried out._

_Sokka just shrugged... then all of a sudden we had heard a crash come from the kitchen, with the sounds of pots, pans, and whatever else crashing against the floor. The three of us immediately got off our butts and rushed into the kitchen._

" _What happened?" Sokka immediately asked right before I came up behind him._

" _Katara!" I cried her name as I saw my wife crouched on the floor with her hand on her head, seemingly dizzy._

" _I'm-I'm okay... Just-just a little nauseous," she stated as she looked into my eyes reassuringly, "I'm fine..."_

_I came up beside her and helped her up, "Are you sure?" I asked, not convinced that she was alright._

" _She's fine..." started Suki. "Just three weeks pregnant."_

" _Well, that's a relief—WAIT, WHAT!" Sokka cried out in shock._

" _Katara's three months pregnant—Aang and Katara are having a child," she announced as she took my hand in hers, "Congratulations."_

" _Wait, by saying they're having a child you mean that they have been going at it like rabaroos!" Sokka practically yelled in his wife's face._

" _Well, um, I wouldn't exactly put it that way but..." Katara said nervously, "We have, well, you know... had sex quite a couple of times."_

" _Katara was telling me that she hasn't had her period in about a month when she collapsed. So as far as we can tell, she is pregnant."_

_I couldn't help but stutter. This had happened so fast. Sure I was expecting the time to come at some point, but never did I anticipate becoming aware of it in front of our whole family._

_Sokka growled as he grabbed me by the collar, "Little creep!" he shouted as he pressed me against the wall, "You're deeeeeeeeaaaaaad," Sokka growled with eyes of insanity. My face was struck with fear that my insane brother-in-law was going to seriously hurt me. Just the look in his eyes told me that much._

" _Sokka, lay off your brother-in-law," Hakoda told his son as he laid a calming hand on his shoulder._

_Sokka's growling began to die down before his face completely twitched to one of stability, "I mean, congratulations, kid..."_

" _Uh, th-thanks..." I managed to say, still a bit shocked by the current situation._

_Sokka's grip loosened to the point where he had completely let go of me, but you could tell by the look in his eyes that he was still on the verge of having another mental breakdown._

_Then I practically jumped into the air when Hakoda's hand rested on my shoulder. I was now even more afraid than I had been with Sokka. Sure, Hakoda stopped him from strangling me, but for all I knew he was only doing that so that he could strangle me himself._

" _Congratulations, you two," congratulated the chief with eyes of pride._

" _So... you're NOT going to kill me?" I questioned confusedly._

_Hakoda stared at me weirdly, "Now why would I do that?"_

" _Because... well, you know... I—oh, please, don't make me say it," I shrugged awkwardly._

_"You are excited, aren't you, Aang?" asked my waterbender worriedly._

_I answered immediately, "Of course I am! It's just—well, you're father's right here and..."_

_The chief chuckled, "No need to be so uptight. I'm happy for you both—we all are. In fact, how about I take over in making dinner and make a special Water Tribe dinner just for you two?"_

_I smiled gratefully, "Thanks, that sounds nice."_

" _I'll even prepare my infamous stewed sea-prunes!"_

_I grimaced, "Great..." I said flatly, causing everyone to laugh._

* * *

Suki and I were in the kitchen of the Temple washing the dishes. Normally, I would be the only one doing the dishes since Katara became pregnant. I actually took on a bunch of house-wife jobs when she became pregnant, even before any of the bodily changes came to the surface. I just couldn't help it. I felt an urge to help and do whatever I could to make it easier for Katara.

"Hey, Aang. Why don't you go and be with Katara? I got these," Suki told me.

I continued to wash the dishes, "You sure? I could stick around and—"

"I insist. Besides, I got someone to fill in for you," she said before crying out, "Sokka!"

Just like a trained polar-dog, Sokka came right up into the kitchen, "Yeah?"

I wiped off my hands and approached the exit, laying a hand on Sokka's shoulder, "Fill in for me and finish the dishes, will ya?"

"What? So you can just go and be lazy?"

I turned around, "No, so I can go find my wife and spend some time with her."

" _Alone_?"

"We're twenty-eight years old, Sokka. We're not teenagers anymore," I assured him as I ducked out of the room.

"Yeah but a part of you is still that goofy kid we found in the iceberg..." muttered Sokka right before being handed a wet dish by his wife. He groaned and started to help, but the look on his face made it clear that he had better things he wanted to do.

* * *

"Katara?" I called out my wife's name as I came down a small flight of stairs to where the sky bison caves were located. It had been the only place that I hadn't checked yet, and I was honestly very uncomfortable with her being down there alone. Sure, Appa and the other sky bison were there, and surely Appa would alert me if anything happened to her...but still, something at the bottom of my stomach was twisting and turning, and I was certain it wasn't the dinner she and Suki had prepared.

"I'm down here!" she answered, confirming that she was in the caves.

I almost immediately pinpointed which cave she was in. Not much to my surprise, I found her in Appa's cave—well, actually it was more of a shed, considering Appa's fear of caves—feeding the bison a bale of hay as she pets the long-time friend. I then leaned against the entrance to the shed, watching while she enjoyed the comfort of the large animal's skin as she lied against him. She was laying on her side, her eyes closed as if she was sleeping, with that relaxing smile on her face that was contagious to anyone watching her.

I quietly lied down beside her, resting my hand atop hers as I gently ran my thumb across the back of her hand. Just moments later, she took hold of my own hand and opened her eyes halfway to see me, her loving husband.

"Hey, sweetie..." she said to me with a soft, gentle voice.

"Hi..." I whispered back.

She nuzzled her head against the fur she was laying on as I scooted closer to her, wrapping an arm as far around her waist as I could, trying to be as close to her as I could without squeezing her stomach. I stared into Katara's half-lidded eyes with as much love as a human-being could possibly show. My arm that had been wrapped around his wife's waste began to travel back down to her stomach, where I gently rubbed it in a circle.

"Aang..." she began to whisper as water began to trickle down her skin, "...we're gonna have a baby!" she whispered with excitement.

I continued to smile, "I know... And I couldn't think of anyone else I'd be happier to have it with."

"Me neither..." she replied. She broke eye contact, but returned just a moment later, "Do you...do you think we'll be good parents?"

My gaze of love transformed into one of curiosity and wonder, "Why would you even ask a question like that? Of course, we will," I reassured her. But to be honest, I had been asking myself that very same question for months. I knew that Katara already had her own maternal instincts and that she had practically taken a motherly figure after Kya's passing. But for me, I wasn't so sure... Would I be a good father? The closest thing I ever had to a father was Gyatso. Don't get me wrong; I know he did a good job raising me. But would I do just as well? I have always worried about that... What if my Avatar duties got in the way and I were never around? Or worse... What if something happened to me? Would Katara be able to raise our child on her own?

I forced myself to throw away those thoughts. All they would do is make me even more paranoid than I already am...

All of a sudden I felt the baby kick hard and Katara yelped in pain.

"Are you okay?" I immediately asked worriedly.

She had her eyes clenched in pain, but thankfully the pain subsided. "Yeah, I'm fine. The baby's just kicking really hard is all."

"You think that maybe we should get out of this cold?" I asked, still a bit worried.

She shook her head, "No, I'm fine. Really..." she continued to assure me, but I still wasn't convinced.

"Are you sure?" I asked again.

She looked up at me and smiled, "Yes, I'm sure. Remember, I have a lot of experience with pregnancies," she told me. "Remember when we had to take the Serpent's Pass in order to help those refugees get to Ba Sing Se and Ying suddenly went into labor?" she reminded me.

"Yes, I remember..." I replied, thinking back on those days when I had practically abandoned all hope and care in the world. That was just one of the many times that Katara had tried to help me through something that I otherwise couldn't have gotten through by myself. Although it was actually the family that helped me get through my depression, she was still there, trying her best to help get me through it herself. Sometimes I even ask myself who's wiser—me or her? Either way, Iroh was wiser than the two of us combined. That I knew for sure.

"Still," I began again, "We should probably get back inside and be getting ready for bed."

She sighed deeply, "Alright, if you insist," she said before smiling mischievously, "That is if Appa wants us to leave..."

I knew immediately that she was teasing me.

"Maybe Appa wants me to stay with him tonight. I'd be happy to oblige," she continued.

I chuckled softly, "I'm sure Appa wants to get to sleep as much as I do right now," I looked up at the bison, "Isn't that right, buddy?"

My trusty sky bison agreed with a loud groan, causing Katara to scoff at him. "Why do you always take his side, Appa?" she demanded.

Another groan came from Appa's enormous mouth and my wife sighed in defeat as I got up. I knew she'd have trouble getting up herself, so I created a small, revolving ball of air and positioned it under her, causing her to softly float up into the air and back on her feet.

"Thanks for the lift," she joked, causing us both to chuckle. We started to head out the shed, hand-in-hand. The snow had begun to fall down even harder than before. Before we knew it, the island would be covered in sheets of snow about two feet tall.

We were halfway back to our room when Katara had once again cried in pain, except this time, she appeared to be in even more pain than before. In fact, her cry was loud enough to have Hakoda, Sokka, and Suki rushing out into the courtyard; where Katara was doubling over onto her knees as I tried to ask her what was wrong.

"My water just broke," she managed to say.

I had never been so shocked in my life. I practically did a demonstration of Sokka's reaction when Ying had announced that her baby was coming.

"But you're not due for another month!" I cried in panic.

"Well, apparently the baby has its own damn schedule!" she snapped at me. I didn't take it personally. I realized that when she went through all the mood swings. She was just in a lot of pain—pain that I'd probably never understand.

Luckily some of the Acolytes were nearby and knew what to do when this time came. They quickly got a gurney and placed her on top of it and rushed her to our room. Sokka and I followed closely behind. I still couldn't believe that she was a month early! How might this affect her, or the baby for not matter? Was it even safe to deliver a month early? All these questions and more passed through my mind. I barely even remember the rush to the bedroom. I was in such a shock and panic that I didn't even notice Hakoda stop me before I entered the room.

Apparently, he had stopped me just before I followed my wife and her brother in the room, clearly noticing my state of mind. He had this calm look on his face, but in his eyes, I could tell he was just as surprised about the current situation as I was.

"Aang, before you go in there, there's something I have to tell you."

"Can't it wait?" I quickly replied, "Now isn't exactly the time for chit-chat!"

He rested a hand on my shoulder, "No, you deserve to know this. I know exactly what's going through your head right now. You're worried for Katara and the baby's health, and how this early delivery may affect them both," he quickly said to me, and of course, he was right. "Look, when Kya went into labor with Sokka, she was a month early as well—just like Katara is now."

All of a sudden, I heard my wife scream in agony. Without hesitation, I attempted to rush in there but was stopped by Hakoda. I remember turning to him with eyes of question. Was this really that important? Okay, fine, Kya was a month early, too. What difference did it make? Sokka turned out fine, right? Why was this so important that I wasn't allowed to be with her at this very second?!

"You have to know that, after Sokka was born, Kya had suddenly become very weak—weaker than most women after giving birth."

It was then that I started to pay attention to Hakoda's words. Where was he going with this? Katara was a strong woman—one of the best and most skilled waterbenders and healers in the world. I hadn't realized it at the time, but at this moment, that strange twisting-and-turning feeling at the bottom of my stomach had grown larger than before.

I heard her scream again. I couldn't explain the worry and panic on my face after hearing her scream with such agonizing pain just twice in the last five minutes.

"Hakoda, get to the goddamn point!" I shouted into his face without thinking.

"We almost lost her, alright!" he cried out, water coursing down his cheeks.

That was the first time I ever saw Hakoda cry. I'll never forget the pain and panic in his voice when he shouted those five words. Even today, I do believe that I've never seen him in such a state of emotion. He was always so calm, so easygoing, so...strong. But for the first time ever—that I'd seen at least—he was the opposite of all those at the exact same time.

"W-What did you say?" I asked, struck by the shock of his words.

He tried to avoid eye contact, but I bet a part of him just wouldn't allow it. "Look, immediately after Sokka was born, Kya became very weak. She fell into unconsciousness at least twice. Every time her eyes closed, I was afraid that they'd never open again."

"Are—You're not saying that...the same thing might happen to K-Katara?" I demanded with a soft, but shocked voice.

"I don't know, I just want you to know that if it does, you gotta hold onto the hope that she _will_ open her eyes again," he encouraged me, relieving me of some of my panics. But still, just hearing that she might do the same was enough for me to lose it.

I heard her scream again, but this time, it was a name. "AANG!" she screamed at the top of her lungs in another release of audible pain.

This time I wouldn't let Hakoda stop me, and thankfully he didn't even try. I rushed in there with all my speed, taking her hand in mine the second I reached her. She gripped it with all the strength she could muster. I won't lie by saying that I didn't feel a thing. Believe me, the grip might as well have almost broken every bone in my hand, but I didn't let it bother me. I tried to ignore it the best I could as I stood by her side, watching as her eyes clenched as tight as she could while screaming loud enough to shake the room.

The bed was surrounded by some medically-experienced Air Acolytes and some of the healers I hired. Furthermore, Sokka was gripping his sister's other hand. Every now and then, we'd look up at one another. I could tell just by looking in his eyes that he was just as worried for his sister as he would be if it were Suki being the one giving birth. Honestly, I can't explain the feelings that were building up in my body. If I had to try, I'd say that I felt like a whole part of my life was changing right in front of my eyes; that after today, the entire world would be changed forever.

* * *

Seconds, minutes, even hours passed by without awareness. It felt like an eternity had passed. It had to be, at least, seven or eight when she first went into labor. And now? I wouldn't have even known what time it was if I hadn't to have happened to look up at the clock on the wall across the room. It was now around midnight. She'd been in labor for about four hours. If I hadn't looked at the clock, a month could have gone by and I wouldn't have even noticed. It was torture watching her in so much pain. The pain was so great that I think she even passed out and woke up numerous times without me even noticing. I wanted to look away because I just couldn't stand the sight of her being in so much pain. But I didn't, and I wouldn't either. After every scream, she'd look into my eyes with an indescribable emotion. In some ways, she seemed happy, but in others, she was going through more pain than I ever could have when Azula shot me.

The voices that filled the room were so indistinct that they were practically garbled. The only sound that passed clearly through my ears were her screams. When would this end? Why wouldn't our child just relieve her of so much pain and hurry to be born? It already decided to come a month early, so why did it insist on prolonging their own birth? Why couldn't this just end?! Why did this have to go on for so long?! I wanted it to end; I pleaded for it to end. Each time I heard her scream, it was like something was tearing me apart bit-by-bit. I felt like passing out just so that I didn't have to go through it any longer than I already had. I thought that maybe I could run and hide, but then I'd be leaving her side, and that was the last thing that I ever wanted to do.

Another eternity passed, and that force that had been tearing me apart finally reached my heart. My heart couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was running out of hope—that hope that Hakoda told me to hold onto...it was slipping away from me. I thought I had reached my breaking point. But...then...the most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my life passed through my ears.

All other sounds vanished from the would, and all I could hear was that beauty that lit up my entire face.

It was the sound of a baby—our baby! Katara's screams of pain had ceased. I could tell by that smile on her face that she was hearing it too. Before I could even collect my thoughts, Hakoda handed our child to me. It was a girl! Beautifully wrapped in a pink towel as it cried loudly. It was our daughter, Kya! We had done it! _She_ had done it! She was so beautiful! I didn't need to pay attention to her exact description to know that.

"Katara..." I called my wife's name softly as I stared at our child with joy. She didn't answer, so I called her again, "Katara?" When she didn't answer again, I looked down at her and was struck with panic.

Her eyes were closed! "Katara!" I cried out her name, taking her hand and grasping it firmly. I heard her breathe softly as she opened her eyes. I had never been so thankful in my life. That hope that had almost slipped away from me was now in my tight grasp.

"Aang..." she said to me softly in a weak manner.

It was now that tears began to flood my eyes. Even today, I cannot tell whether they were from the worry that she wouldn't open her eyes again, or if they were tears of joy that our child had finally been brought into this world.

"She's right here. You can hear her, right? That's our baby—that's our daughter crying! Look, I was the first to hold her, just like you wanted!"

"Hey, Kya..." she said weakly, her gaze returning to me, "She-she turned out so cute!"

"This is our little baby, Katara. You did a great job!" I cried softly with the widest smile a man could possibly create.

Katara smiled as well as I showed her our baby, "She...has your eyes..." she stated happily.

"And your beautiful hair," I couldn't help but add as water trickled down my cheeks.

"Aang..." she began, her eyelids beginning to drift closed, "I'm feeling a bit tired... Could you let me rest a bit?" she asked as she finally closed her eyes.

Part of me couldn't help but become worried about that. What if she had fallen unconscious? Or maybe she had just fallen asleep... If that was the case, I had no right to wake her after all the work she had done to bring Kya into this world. But something inside me took over. Hakoda's words pounded at my heart and I couldn't help but try and get her to stay awake.

"Wait, Katara...please. Let's talk for just a little longer..." I pleaded. "Look, I'm gonna try calling her name," I looked down at our crying child. "Kya, hey, it's Daddy..." I said to her, but her cries continued and I sniffed softly as I saw Katara's eyes open again. "This is Mommy..." I told our daughter as I showed her the woman that had brought her into this world. But she turned away, her arms waving at the air while she cried even more. She was ignoring me... I don't think she understood a word I said.

Thankfully, Katara's eyes opened once again and she stared into mine. "I...love you, Aang. Please...take care of Kya." Her eyes then drifted closed once again.

That hope that I had gripped firmly then began to slip away again as her words struck my heart. "Katara...no, don't say that. You're gonna be fine. We'll raise her together, as a family, just like we wanted! She'll have parents who will love and support her forever, right, Katara? Soon we'll go clothes shopping. She'll go to school, make all sorts of wonderful friends," I managed to say, the words clawing my throat as they exited my mouth. I brought Katara's hand that I had been holding and brought it to Kya's cheek. "Do you feel that, Katara?" I asked her. "It's Kya's cheek! Come on! Don't you feel it?"

Then, without any warning, her arm dropped to her side. At the very moment, the hope I tried so hard to hold onto, vanished forever.

My eyes widened larger than ever before as hot tears dripped off my cheeks. "Katara...Hey, come on. Wake up!" I cried loudly. "Wake up!"

The realization hit me as I heard Hakoda's voice, "Aang..." he called my name as Kya was taken from my arms by someone I didn't even bother to identify. My whole body was engulfed by sadness and rage as I suddenly snapped at my wife's father.

"YOU SAID THAT'D SHE OPEN HER EYES AGAIN!" I shouted angrily before my head jerked back to Katara, taking her hand in both of mine as tears dripped onto the bedsheets. "Open your eyes...please, Katara! PLEASE!"

It was hopeless... She'd never open her eyes again. Before I knew it, I'd gone hysterical... throwing myself at her, wrapping my arms around her as tightly as I could while screaming up at the ceiling, "WHY! WHY'D YOU TAKE HER FROM ME! SHE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG; SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS!" My gaze returned to her closed eyes, "KATARA!"

I screamed her name hundreds of times while tears poured out of me. I don't remember much after that. I faintly remember some of the Acolytes pulling at my arms, trying to calm me down. Eventually, my anger rose to the surface and I went berserk. I don't remember who I took out my anger on, but I do remember that at some point, I ran out of energy and collapsed on the bed, crying uncontrollably as I gripped her lifeless body.

_We said that we'd always be together... That's what we promised each other, right? You promised me, the moment I proposed to you. We-we knew it the moment we laid eyes on one another. Remember-remember all the great times we spent together? All the laughs, the smiles, the joy... We saved the world together, we built a nation and a city together! We-we were supposed to raise a family together. You...you can't leave! We have to do it together!_

"Katara...please, don't leave me..."

* * *


	2. Return to The City of Pain

* * *

**Chapter 2:  
** **Return to the City of Pain**

_Katara and I strolled down a paved path in the Republic City Park, with a thirteen-month-old Kya cooing in joy while in her mother's arms. We were heading for the playground that the city had built in the park not too long ago. Kya had just begun to learn how to walk; what distance she could at least. Katara and I had this idea of seeing who Kya would come to if we put her in the middle of her and I. I don't know why we were tempted to find out the answer, but I'm sure it was just another one of our in-the-moment ideas—ideas that just popped into our heads and said to ourselves, "Why don't we give it a try?"_

_So that's what we were doing here. It was a Monday afternoon, so the playground was more likely to be less populated than it would have been during the weekend with all the parents off work. Besides, we kind of liked having the park to ourselves. It was easy to keep an eye on Kya while she played in the sand, and plus, just watching her be in her own little world was a joy that we'd never pass up._

_It didn't take much longer until we arrived at the playground. I'm sure you've all seen a public playground before, so I'll spare you the layout other than the usual—a couple of swing sets, slides, seesaws, monkey bars, and a big sandbox._

_We set Kya down on the ground and onto her feet and she stared at us both in confusion. I doubt I could get into that little head of hers even if I tried. After we made sure she could stay standing on her own, we parted ways. When Katara and I took our short distance from her, she seemed even more confused, wondering what in the world we were doing._

" _Kya," Katara called with a cute baby voice, "come on, come to Mommy!"_

_Our child turned to her mother and she smiled widely. "No, Kya, come to Daddy!" I called to her, bending my knees as I clapped my hands and held my arms out._

_The baby girl then turned her head to me and made a cute gurgle as she turns her entire body my way. I couldn't help but glance at my wife with a smirk of dominance. She retorted by sticking her tongue out at me playfully._

" _Come to Momma! Come on!" she attempted to become her daughter's destination._

_Just like that, Kya turned around again. I had apparently lost her attention. "Mommy" was now our daughter's choice of destination, no matter what I tried. I couldn't do anything but watch as she slowly walked towards her mother, wobbling left and right, trying to keep her balance. I was sure that she was going to fall...but she didn't. She walked straight into my wife's arms. Katara picked her up and softly tossed her up in the air._

" _Good job!" she exclaimed proudly._

_I sighed in defeat, "Look's like she's a Mommy's girl..."_

" _Don't take it personally," she began, "I'm sure she still loves her daddy. She just prefers her mother," she stated as she rubbed noses with Kya._

_I chuckled softly, "I would, too, if I were her..." I stated as I approached her. We shared a sweet kiss and gazed into each other's eyes. I then took Kya into my arms and placed a kiss on her cheek. "You love your daddy, don't you?" I asked her._

_In response to my question, Kya's small little hand grabbed my nose and squeezed it; filling her with laughter._

_I shrugged, "I'll take that as a yes..."_

_Katara laughed and we enjoined hands as the three of us headed back home...as a family..._

* * *

I was woken up by the sound of the brakes grinding against the tracks and slowing down the train I was traveling on. I had apparently been out for a while... The entire train ride, as a matter of fact. The last thing I remembered was boarding and taking a seat. I must have fallen asleep without realizing it. That had to be it because I had another one of those dreams. These dreams—they'd been recurring for the last five years. Each time it was different, but the scenario was always the same. I'd dream of what my life would be like if...if Katara hadn't passed away. Each time, I could swear that it was real.

I know what you're thinking: "A lot of dreams feel real." Well, I can say with all honesty, that these dreams couldn't feel more realistic. With most dreams, you can only remember blurry images and maybe even a sentence or two. But with these dreams, I could recite every detail as if it just happened.

Eh, what did it matter anyway? They were just dreams, and that's all they'd ever be—dreams. But God knows that I'd do anything for them to come true...

* * *

_I guess that you're wondering what I've been doing with my life for the past five years, aren't you? Well, then, just be patient. I'll fill you in... Though I gotta tell ya, you probably won't agree with most of it. Back then, I thought it was all natural. But now, my entire insight on it all, and what I became, well it just makes me sick. I didn't even notice what I'd become until it was too late._

_Well first, you're probably wondering what I'm doing on this train, right? I guess this is as good a place as ever to start anyway..._

* * *

The train had reached Central City Station, the center of Republic City. It'd been just a little less than five years since I'd seen this city.

I hated this place. It was too full of memories I wanted to forget. The only reason I was alive was that it would be too much trouble to die. I tried to run away from here, but no matter what, I couldn't run away from what happened...to you, Katara. The only thing I accomplished by leaving was realizing that you were still here. You'd be forever tied to this city. That was something I could never change, so I chose to accept it. I finally decided to return to Republic City—or in my case, The City of Pain. That's all that this place gives me anymore. But then again, no matter where I go, my pain and suffering follow.

I grabbed my bag and headed for the exit. The moment I stepped out those doors and caught a whiff of that city air, I knew that there would be no turning back. I was going to spend the rest of my life here...

My usual attire was packed in my bag. At the moment, I was wearing a two-piece suit, containing a coal-gray jacket, a white shirt with a stiff, square collar, and some stockings over black shoes. My hair had grown out a lot, as I hadn't shaved it bald in the last few years. My bangs had grown to the point where they practically covered my arrow. I didn't care... I used to be so insistent on wearing it proudly, and now it didn't really matter. Why should it? It was just a tattoo anyways.

I left Republic City sometime after Katara's funeral. Zuko offered to let me stay with him and Mai in the Fire Nation while I sorted stuff out. But there was nothing to sort out... She was dead, and that was that. Nothing would ever change that... But either way, after thinking it over, I took up his offer. But really, it was just my attempt at running away.

* * *

_The service had ended. She was now six feet under the earth. That was where she'd stay until time itself came to an end. I'm ashamed to admit that, somehow, I didn't cry throughout the whole thing. The most I did was shed a few tears, most of which were during the eulogy I gave. I wanted to do more than that. I wanted to show how much I loved her, but my body just wouldn't let me. I felt like I got rid of all my cries on the night she died. I wish that wasn't the case..._

_If anyone's cries were noticed the most, they were Kya's. She cried throughout the entire thing. I had asked Sokka to take her to the funeral with him for me because I was afraid that I'd lose it again and go hysterical. Like the kind man that he is, he had agreed and brought her with him and Suki. All the while, every time I looked at her, I couldn't help but think, "Only a week old and she's having to say good-bye to the mother she'd never get to know."_

_With the service over, I tried to hurry to the carriage that was waiting for me just outside the graveyard. I didn't want to speak to anyone, I didn't want to see anyone. Hell, all I wanted to do was just go home and hide in a corner for the rest of my life._

" _Aang, wait!" a voice called after me._

_I recognized it immediately and stopped in place, turning around to face my dead wife's father as he caught up with me._

" _What do you want?" I asked him harshly. I already said I didn't want to see anyone, but I especially didn't want to see him._

" _There's, uh... there's something I think you should have," he told me, taking a small brown, rectangular box from a pocket inside his coat. It had the national insignia for the Water Tribe carved on the top._

_I glanced down at the small box, then back to him, "What is it?"_

_He shrugged casually, "Open it," he urged me._

_I sent him a cold look before turning my gaze to the box and bringing it into my hand. I slowly flipped it open it to find Katara's most prized possession. I wasn't surprised... I should have known he'd try this._

" _It's her mother's necklace," I said carelessly. "What of it?"_

_Hakoda sighed, "You know it's significance, and, well, I figure that when Kya is old enough to understand, she should learn it's significance to her mother. It was the one thing Katara had of her mother, so I think it seems logical that it should be the one thing Kya has of her mother."_

_I knew what he meant, and I knew he was right. It'd been passed down for generations, and it was only right to continue that passing. I don't know what happened, but then, something inside of me just, sort of, cracked. Tears began to develop in my eyes as I accepted the possession._

" _Thank you, Hakoda..." I managed to say as I wiped my eyes, a smile making it's way to my face. I was glad to know that I was still showing emotions for her. It reminded me that even though I could never see her again, she still had a place in my heart._

" _You're welcome, son," he patted me on the shoulder, trying his best to work up a smile. I knew it was hard on him. Then I remembered what he did. In a way, I wish I didn't. Maybe then I could be relinquished of some of this anger that was dwelling inside me._

_I turned away from him, "I got to go..." I said and began walking as quickly away from him as I could. I couldn't let something like this make me forget what he did to her and I. He betrayed us, made us believe him. I could never trust a word he said, but I did know that he was right about the necklace. Even that I couldn't deny._

_I finally reached the carriage where a driver was waiting for me. I quickly swung open the door and got in, slamming the door shut. I was just about to order the driver to head off when I heard someone knock on the door of the carriage. I turned and saw Zuko peering in._

_I sighed annoyingly, "Yeah, Zuko?"_

" _Look, uh, I know this is sort of out of the blue but...Mai and I were thinking, and if you need some time to, you know, think things through and get stuff sorted out, you're welcome to come with us back to the Capital," he explained to me._

_I gave it some thought, "I might just have to take you up on that offer, but...could you give me a while to think about? Maybe some time to sleep on it?"_

_Yeah right... I hadn't done much sleeping recently._

" _Sure thing, buddy. Just give us a call, alright?"_

" _Sure thing," I finished, considering the conversation over. The driver then set off, guiding the ostrich-horses out of the graveyard while I tried my hardest to keep my eye on Katara's headstone. Eventually, it vanished from my sight and I was forced to just sit back and...well, just sit back._

_We were halfway to the docks when I had the craziest idea. "Driver, take me to the nearest bar, please," I told the driver. Before I knew it, we'd changed directions. Not long after, I found myself walking into a bar for the first time in my life. I had no idea what was going through my head. It was like I had no control over it. But, the thing is, I didn't fight it either. I didn't want to fight it; I wanted it to happen! Something inside me screamed, "You can't deal with this on your own! Alcohol will take away the pain!"_

_I practically threw myself onto a barstool at the front of the bar, throwing my head down on the wooden counter._

" _What can I get you?" asked the bartender. "Wait, aren't you—"_

_I didn't let him finish his sentence, "Just a cold beer; no questions asked..." I told him abruptly, not removing my face from the counter._

_I could tell without looking that he was eying me curiously as he grabbed a regular beer bottle from under the counter and set it down in front of me._

_I remember having second thoughts. I remember asking myself, is this what I wanna do with my life? I hesitated, raising my head and staring at the bottle for what felt like an eternity. Finally, that voice that was shouting inside me took control. I grabbed the bottle and placed the tip in my mouth, chugging down every last drop._

_That was the first time I ever drank alcohol. Well, other than the few glasses of champagne I had at mine and Katara's wedding. But that didn't even compare to the amount I drank that night. I don't even remember leaving the bar... I found myself on a bench in the park with a bottle in one hand and a cigarette in the other._

* * *

_Sometime after that, I left with Zuko and Mai to the Fire Nation. I told everyone that I'd be back in just a few weeks—two at the least. I had asked Sokka and Suki if they could take care of Kya while I was gone. I remember the questioning look on his face when I asked him. But nevertheless, he eventually agreed. I told them what I told everyone else, but only I knew that I'd be gone much longer than that._

_When Zuko agreed to take me in, I talked him into letting me get my own apartment. He was against it at first, but I talked him into it after explaining that I didn't want to freeload off of him. I, of course, knew that wasn't the case. I knew that he would assume it was just my personality, but really, I didn't want him to get in the way of my life._

_I stayed there for about three years until Zuko and I had our falling out. I had been able to hide my addictions to alcohol and cigarettes for years, but one day, Zuko finally realized that my attitude and personality had been changing. He confronted me and tried to make me quit. I wouldn't listen. He had no right to tell me what to do with my own life! And that's exactly what I told him. He soon realized that I wouldn't listen to "reason", and tried to cut me off. That's when things got serious. I wasn't going to sit there and let other people control me. You could say that things got a little "heated."_

_After three years of avoiding my return, I was forced to find somewhere else to stay. I didn't care... If Zuko was really my friend, he would realize that this was the only way to relinquish myself of the pain that was tearing at my heart. Eh, that wasn't entirely true. No matter what I did, the pain wouldn't go away._

_Anyways, after our falling out, I left the Fire Nation and went back to Ba Sing Se. God, what a stupid mistake!_

_I got myself an apartment in the lower ring. I didn't do much while I was there. I got myself a small full-time job so that I could pay for the apartment. As long as no one in the government was aware of my presence in the Earth Kingdom, they wouldn't send me money like every other place I went to do. So I hid the arrows on my hands by wearing gloves 24/7 and hid the one on my forehead with my overgrowing hair and bangs. Luckily, no one really pays attention to a guy's forehead when their head is full of hair. Well, I thought I had finally run away from my pain. Just living a normal life, where nobody knew who I was, it was enough to think that I might be able to just forget everything that happened and live like this for the rest of my life._

_But then, the dreams started to become more frequent. I'd even begun to daydream. I remember that about a year into my job, I was presented with an opportunity to move up to the middle ring and start working as a waiter at a restaurant. That's when things got really complicated._

_You remember how Katara and I got together, don't you? It was right here in Ba Sing Se. As I said, I made a stupid mistake by coming here. You see, Katara and I spent the first few weeks of our relationship in Ba Sing Se, more specifically in the middle ring. Everywhere I looked, I saw memories of me and Katara. All types... All the pain that I had been trying to avoid then hit me with full force. My addiction to alcohol grew worse. I reached the point where I once stayed up through the whole night drinking and even came to work like that. Needless to say, I was fired immediately. But I still wasn't going to go back to Republic City. Not until I knew I could control my addiction to the point where I could still work._

_Now that I was out of work, I couldn't pay for my cigarettes nor my alcohol. It nearly drove me crazy. I once attempted to attempt suicide because of the pain. But I couldn't go through with it. That wouldn't make it go away... It'd only make it worse. The suffering—the pain and sadness—would follow my soul for eternity. What was the use of dying if all it would do is make things harder than they already were? Dying wouldn't bring Katara back._

_Eventually, I gained some control over my addictions. I was able to get to the point where I could maintain some control over myself. That's when I figured it was time to return home—to the City of Pain._

* * *

Memories clouded my mind as I aimlessly walked down the streets of this heavily-populated city. The sun was beaming down at the city with all its heat, making the day a very sweaty one. One thing I knew this city could achieve is great heat and great cold. It had a well-controlled climate. It was never too hot during the summer, but you could always hope for a white winter. I guess that's one thing I missed about this city. Its winters were the best. Katara always loved them best, too. It reminded her of her home in the icy South Pole. That's one reason we decided to move out here almost fifteen years ago. Fifteen years... A lot has changed since then. It seems that it was just yesterday that Katara and I married.

Wait! No, not just yesterday. But today! My God... How could I have almost forgotten? Now I really felt stupid; like I deserved a stern slap across the face. That's probably 'cause I did.

Today was the fifteenth anniversary of the day we got married. Now, for the first time in so long, I was happy to be here in Republic City. Of course, as I just said, I hated this city. But this day, every year since her death, I wanted to return but leave immediately afterward. No wonder why I was so persistent in getting back here today! I hadn't celebrated our anniversary in so long because I believed it to be pointless, but now that I'm here... maybe now I can make up for it.

Now I asked myself: What should I do? What would be appropriate? I couldn't take her anywhere... I couldn't make her dinner as I had done for so long. Then an idea came to mind. Maybe it could work! It wasn't much, but I had to show her that our anniversary did still mean something to me. What would she think of me if I just let it pass for the fifth year since she died?

I now had an objective to achieve. My head that had been staring at the sidewalk for God knows how long it was finally picked up with a look of determination. I scanned the shops that I passed. I must have walked for hours, looking for just the right place. I couldn't go to just any store. She deserved more than that.

I must have walked for hours. The sun was just starting to set and I was nearing the docks on the edge of the city. I hadn't even realized it until I looked up and saw the large statue of me, standing proudly on Aang Memorial Island. I turned away from it, and coincidentally, I found the place I was looking for. It was a flower shop, specifically for the purpose of birthdays and anniversaries. It was called, "Ayame's Celebratory Flowers", or something like that. I didn't pay too much attention to the name. All I knew is that it was exactly what I was looking for.

I looked up at the sky, recognizing its orange theme and deducing that sundown wasn't far away. I made no haste as I rushed to the flower shop. A small bell was shaken as I came through the door, alerting the store owner behind the counter that a customer had come in.

"Evening..." she greeted me politely.

"Evening," I greeted back. I looked around the small store. There were rows and rows of all types of flowers. But that wasn't all. There were also these candies lined up near the back of the store. Next to those were various candles and joss sticks. I smiled on the inside. This place had everything I needed. I just hoped that she would like it...

"Is there anything I can help you find? Are you searching for a specific type of flower?" the woman asked me as she came from behind the counter.

"Not really," I replied before considering, "except, maybe... Would you happen to have any panda lilies?"

"Panda lilies?" she pondered, taking in hand a clipboard and scanning the paper attached to it. "Yes, we do. A shipment just came in," she answered with a bright smile. "They're just down that aisle," she pointed down at a row of flowers.

"Thanks," I responded thankfully as I began to head toward the aisle she had addressed.

I hadn't noticed that she followed me down the aisle. "I don't mean to pry or anything, but since you're looking for panda lilies, would I be wrong by guessing that they are for an anniversary?"

I chortled, "No, you wouldn't. It's my fifteenth anniversary," I told her.

"Fifteenth?" she questioned, amazed by the number. "Wow... Congratulations. If I may, might I suggest a box of chocolates?"

The question struck me and I felt the need to admit a sad truth. "Um, no thank you. My wife... she's, uh... she's dead," I explained, avoiding eye contact as my own words pounded at my throat and heart.

The woman seemed to become upset and embarrassed, "Oh... I'm so sorry; I shouldn't have—"

"No, it's okay," I stopped her from blaming herself. "There's no way you could have known. You were just being friendly."

She shrugged, avoiding eye contact, "Still... That must be hard. But I guess I wouldn't know."

I didn't bother asking why. I'd just be trying to find out about her personal life, and really, all I wanted was to just get the things I came for and get out.

I picked up a bouquet of panda lilies. This was really all I came in for, but I couldn't help but head to where the candies were. I had no reason to buy candies. It wasn't like she could eat them anyway... But still, I felt the need to buy them anyway. I guess it was just my heart telling me that, "It's the thought that counts." I scanned the various boxes of candies. If she were alive, what type would she want most? I guess that was a hard question to answer because I must have spent at least a whole ten minutes considering all my options.

The woman must have noticed this because she came up beside me and picked a white box from the shelf.

"These are our best-selling chocolates," she handed me the box with a thoughtful smile.

I smiled in appreciation, "Thanks."

"Is that all?" she asked curiously.

I took a moment of thought and grabbed a pair of joss sticks and nodded. We then proceeded to the front of the store and the lady took her place behind the counter. I guess she knew the prices right off the back of her hand because she didn't even have to glance at the tags.

"That will be twenty yuans," she said.

I set the bouquet of flowers on the counter and reached in my pocket. I didn't have much money on me, but thankfully I had the required amount. Once I paid, I made my way towards the exit, bidding the nice woman "goodbye". When I got outside, I noticed that the sun was just minutes from vanishing from sight, only to be replaced by the full moon.

I looked up at the sky, "A full moon..." I thought aloud. I closed my eyes and smiled, "You loved full moons..." I said softly, barely noticing the droplet of water drip from my eyelids. Full moons had become Katara's favorite phase of the moon, and not just because of the increase in power it gave her. She always told me how the moon had its own meaning of love and beauty. I remember always asking her what that meaning was, but all she did is shrug. Was it because she didn't know that meaning, or was she waiting for me to realize it myself?

* * *

A little over a half-hour later, I was on a ferry heading for my home: Air Temple Island. I had been avoiding this place for so long, just as I had been the entire city. But now there was no more of that. I couldn't run anymore. I wish I could, but there was no point. There was no point to anything, really. The only reason I was celebrating my anniversary was so that I could tell myself that she was still there, in spirit, and that this is what she would have wanted. I don't know if I believe that "in spirit" part anymore, though. If she was, wouldn't she have come to see me years ago? Wouldn't she have summoned me or something? But she never did. Sometimes I think that when she died, I locked my Air Chakra forever, cutting off all my connections to the Spirit World and the Avatar State. What did it matter anyway? I didn't need them... The world was peaceful. There was no need for the Avatar anymore. Avatar Aang had practically fallen off the face of the planet and no one made a commotion about it.

I found myself looking once again up at the large memorial statue of me. I must have stared at it for the rest of the way. When I looked away, I found the ferry parked next to the dock of the island with a few Acolytes waiting for me down below. I grabbed my bag and put it over my shoulder, taking the panda lilies and the box of chocolates from the seat next to me. As I came down the boardwalk, I was surprised that nothing had changed. I had thought that without me, the Acolytes would have disbanded and left the island to become some gang's headquarters.

"Welcome Home, Avatar Aang!" cried out Anil, the head Acolyte, and the representative for the Air Nomads on the Republic Council.

I couldn't help but smile at the welcome. I guess it was kind of nice to know I was missed. However, I was curious as to how he knew I was coming, or even how he knew it was me specifically. Well, now that I think about it, Anil was no idiot. He was probably a lot better at noticing my weakly-hidden tattoos than anybody that just happened to glance at me. That...or he just wasn't a guy to forget a face.

"Hello, Anil," I greeted him, shaking his hand as I finally made it off the boardwalk.

"How was your trip?" he asked me.

 _Trip_ , I thought questionably. _I leave for almost five years and he calls that a trip?_

"It was okay, I guess..." I answered as we walked.

"We were just about to have dinner in the dining hall. Would you like to join us?"

"No, I'm fine," I quickly answered. "I had a long day; I think I'm just going to head to bed."

I caught a glimpse of him eying me in wonder, but I just ignored it. I had a liable reason to be tired. I'd been on a train since ten this morning, and now the moon had taken over the sky. As we made our way up the flights of stairs leading to the courtyard, I began to wonder why Anil wasn't asking why I had a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. Usually, that would be something he'd ask about, and even offer to put the flowers in a vase. Maybe he already knew, but then again, maybe he just didn't feel like asking. Why am I even pondering this? It isn't like it would make much difference. It would just be a stupid question.

Finally, we made it up the stairs. Now I was really tired. I'd almost forgotten how many stairs there were. Or maybe I was just out of shape... I guess I have been pretty lazy these last couple of years.

"Is there anything you need before heading to bed?" asked Anil curiously.

"Just silence..." I answered harshly as I left him and headed for the building where my room was. The master bedroom was on the edge of the island where the boy's dorm was at.

I don't know why I had been so harsh to him before I left. I hadn't noticed it yet, but this place brought out the worst of me. Well, what can you expect from a city that only gives you pain?

As I walked down the hall of the dorms, I realized that I hadn't been in this particular part of the island since the night Katara died, especially our room. After that night, I put it strictly off-limits. Even I hadn't gone in there since then. I was too afraid to...

All of a sudden, I thought I heard crying. The crying of a child even. My heart began pounding rapidly like it was trying to jump out of my chest. Logic wasn't playing any role in my head as I began rushing to the room where the crying was coming from. Not much to my surprise, it was coming from the same room where our child was born. I swung the door open with as much speed and force as I could control, expecting to find Katara lying there, holding our crying daughter. I could almost hear her soothing voice trying to calm her...

But it was only my imagination... The room was empty—dead even. It was dark, only small traces of light seeping in from the closed window on the other side of the room. I let out a deep, depressed sigh, realizing that my mind had been playing tricks on me. Dirty, evil, and depressing tricks...

One thing I noticed was that the room hadn't changed a bit since the last time I came here. The Acolytes had respected my wishes. I guess they're nothing if not loyal. I was happy about that. The room hadn't even been cleaned at all! Even the sheets were as messed up as they had been the morning that her...her body had been removed from the premises.

A grateful smile rose to my face as I closed the door behind me and began to approach the bed, hesitating almost every step. I had walked into a room that replayed that tragic memory non-stop. Which each step I took, I could see faint, almost transparent figures surrounding the bed. I was one of those figures. And so was Sokka, Suki, and even Hakoda. All the other figures were Acolytes and healers.

A scream of terrible pain broke the dead impression this room was giving. It was filled with life...well, imaginary life. I knew what I was witnessing in my head. I wanted to turn away, run out of the room, and never look back. But I couldn't... What was the use of running from something that would stay locked in your head forever?

That's what I told myself as I forced my body to continue forward. The closer I got to the bed, the more the memory began to fade. The screams began to fade, but the water dripping from my eyes didn't.

I allowed my bag to slip off my shoulder and fall with me to my knees as we both reached our destination. I threw my arms out onto the mattress, allowing my head to stare down at the floor as water dripped from my eyes and onto the carpet.

"I'm home, Katara..." I said, my voice so soft that it's trembling. I brought myself to pick my head up, almost sure that I'll see her lying there on her chest with that beautiful smile of hers. But I don't... but I knew the next best thing.

I sniffle and reached inside my bag and pulled out a small picture frame with a sketch of her in it. She was smiling with all the joy and happiness that her body could create, her hands folded out in front of her while her beautiful, long, silky hair blew in the wind. My mouth curved into a happy, longing smile as I set it up on the bed. I placed it in the middle of the mattress and took the bouquet of panda lilies and placed them on the left next to her picture, and placed the candies on the right. I then took out the two joss sticks I had bought earlier, lighting the tips with my fingers and placing them in front of the small picture.

I sniffled again, rubbed my eyes to clear them of the tears as I reached in my jacket. "One more thing..." I said as I pulled out a small brown, rectangular box with the Water Tribe insignia carved onto the lid. I flipped it open, revealing Katara's prized possession: her mother's necklace. I set it down in front of the incense sticks.

I now sat on my knees, my hands placed in my lap as I stared at her picture. I tried my best to smile as I told her, "Happy Anniversary, Katara."

I ran my wrist across my eyes again, "I'm finally home again. I'm sorry I missed our last few anniversaries. I shouldn't have done that. But the good news is that I'm here now for this one."

I tried to maintain a smile on my face, but it was becoming harder by the second.

"Hey, remember when...when you agreed to marry me? It was the sixth anniversary of the day we got together. I planned an entire trip to Ba Sing Se just for us. We spent the whole day at that festival that commemorated the end of the War. Then, at the end of the day, I took you to the Jasmine Dragon. I took you out on the balcony and..."

I stopped, my own words starting to twist and turn in my throat as water coursed down my cheeks.

I didn't bother stopping the newly-formed tears from falling into my lap. I began to grip my pants as tightly as I could. I couldn't take it. I couldn't just pretend to be happy it was our anniversary. I wouldn't allow myself to just pretend that I was happy at all, because I wasn't. Not one bit.

You wanna know the truth? The truth is: I didn't want to just sit here in front of this memorial I made from her. I wanted to get up and punch something as hard as I could and imagine it was the monster who took her from me. I wanted to strangle and pound it with steel knuckles for as long as my heart would allow.

"She doesn't deserve this..." I managed to say through my clenched teeth. "What made you think she deserved what you did to her?" I raised my voice, demanding an answer. "What right did you have to take her from _me_?!" I began to shout, my anger and sorrow gaining control over my actions.

I rose from the ground, walking around the bed and towards the closed window. I grabbed both the shutters and threw them open, revealing the dark sky pouring down rain from the clouds. I hadn't noticed the rain until now. I hadn't even heard the thunderous lightning splitting the sky apart.

I slammed my tightly-clenched fists against the window sill, staring out with a face of anger and rage. An inferno burned in my eyes as I stared up at the sky.

"WHY!?" I shouted as loudly as I could. "WHY DID YOU TAKE HER, YOU DEVILISH BASTARD!? YOU THINK YOU CAN DECIDE WHO LIVES OR DIES!? THEN COME ON! SHOW YOUR STRENGTH!" I continued to shout, watching as streaks of lightning ripped through the sky with loud claps of thunder.

"YOU THINK THAT YOU CONTROL DEATH? WELL, COME ON! STRIKE ME! IF ANYONE DESERVES YOUR PUNISHMENT IT'S ME! I'M THE ONE YOU WANTED TO PUNISH, AREN'T I!? YOU TOOK HER TO PUNISH ME! LET ME TAKE HER PLACE; JUST LET HER LIVE AGAIN!"

My breath became heavy as I just stood there, waiting for one of those bolts of lightning to take me and leave Katara in my place. But it never did...and never would. This was God's way of punishing me for disappearing for so many years. Taking my entire race wasn't enough. He needed to be sure that I paid for all the souls destroyed during the war. He took her to punish me and to help her. For taking her, He could be sure that she was reunited with her mother; the woman who was murdered because of my absence.

Finally, all my anger burst out at once. My eyes clenched shut and I roared with great volume into the sky, releasing an enormous flame from my throat.

I used all the strength and energy I had left in me. By the time I was through, I was gasping for breath as I began to slide down onto the floor. I found myself lying on the ground, breathing heavily as I cried with sorrow, whispering her name every chance I got.

* * *


	3. News Spreads Fast

* * *

**Chapter 3:  
** **News Spreads Fast**

" _Come on, Kya. It's time to get your bath," I said as I tried to lead my daughter to the washroom._

" _No!" she shouted defiantly at me while smiling._

_I hear a giggle come from my wife as she followed closely behind us. "Sounds like we're going through her 'terrible twos'," she stated in an almost mocking manner._

" _Remind me, why do they call it that?" I asked her rhetorically._

" _Because it's every parent's nightmare. And more specifically, yours," she replied, clearly mocking me even more._

_Kya continued to resist my hold, trying her best to make me release my light grip on her hand. She pulled with all her strength, but her father was just a little stronger._

" _Come on; don't you want to get clean?" I tried to reason with her._

" _No!" she replied._

_A cocked a brow at my wife, "I'm starting to think that she may not be a waterbender."_

_Katara placed her hands on her hips and scoffed, "Why? Just because she doesn't want to get a bath?"_

_I shrugged, "Well, from my experience, waterbenders tend to love soaking in their natural element," I stated before deviously adding, "I've seen you do it plenty of times..."_

_She rolled her eyes playfully, "I don't even want to know what's going on in that twisted head of yours right now..." she teased._

" _Probably a good idea," I continued to tease her. My face twinged when I felt a sharp sting on my back from one of her sneaky water-whips._

" _How did that feel?" she asked me, returning her hands to her hips._

" _How did what feel? I didn't feel a thing..." I mocked her as I continued to struggle with Kya._

" _I don't want a bath!" she cried out._

_I finally decided to deploy my secret weapon. "Would you want to if Momo got one too?"_

_Suddenly all her defiance stopped as she began to contemplate the idea. I watched as she stared at the floor, trying to make a decision. Finally, she looked up at me and cried, "Momo!"_

_The victory was mine! Kya always loved having Momo around when she was forced to get a bath. Actually... she loved having Momo around all the time._

_In response to Kya's call, Momo flew into the washroom, landing on my shoulder and proceeding to lightly lick my cheek._

" _Momo!" she cried out the lemur's name again and reached out for him, trapping the winged animal in her arms. She hugged the lemur tightly against her chest. Katara and I couldn't help but laugh as Momo struggled to break free of her grasp, throwing his arms and legs up in the air frantically in hopes of escaping. But our little toddler wouldn't loosen her grip one bit._

_I was able to convince her to let go of our pet lemur before she broke him in two. We proceeded to get Kya into the bath. She had apparently forgotten her decision from earlier and was no longer putting up a struggle. However, she did all the splashing she possibly could. If it hadn't been for Katara's bending, the bathroom would have looked like we were having a flood!_

_It didn't take long for us to finally get her cleaned up. We wrapped her in a rustic-brown towel and dried her off, then proceeded to get her clothes on. Momo stayed in the room, but he wouldn't remove himself from Katara's shoulder. Kya called out to him, but the lemur just screeched in fear, causing both me and my wife to laugh._

* * *

My eyes gradually began to open as I awoke from yet another dream. I sat there in bed—but not my bed. Not the one Katara and I slept in together for ten years. No... I was in one of the Boys' Dorms. I took in my surroundings as my vision cleared from morning blurriness. The bed was placed in the back corner of the room next to a window, and on the other side of the room was a dresser, next to it was a desk with a small bookshelf lying on top of it right next to my bag.

I groaned tiredly as I threw the sheets from off my body and swung my legs over the side of the bed, revealing my muscled chest and boxer-shorts. My head was killing me, like my skull was being pounded by gloves of stone. And no... it was no hangover. God, I wish it was... Would have explained my most recent outbreak of anger. They happened every once in a while. I would become totally consumed by my anger and grief that I'd lose all control over it and go hysterical.

_Last night... that was nothing. Remember how I said that I once considered suicide? Well, it was at that moment I was having one of my eruptions. I wanted to end it all, so I stood atop a building during a lightning storm and begged for one of them to just strike me. Just like last night, not one came close to doing anything even remotely related. But I didn't want to stop, so I tried creating my own lightning. I ended up creating an explosion right in front of my face that sent me flying off the building. I woke up, just like this morning, with a splitting headache._

I thought back on the dream from last night. I could have sworn that it was real. I wanted to believe it was real, that fate was taking me into an alternate world where that tragic night never became tragic at all. Alas, all I could do was hold onto those dreams, because that's all they'd ever be: dreams.

I slowly rose to my feet, making my way to the bag on the desk. I dug through it and took out a change of clothes, similar to what I had worn the night before. I wasn't just going to stand around here. I wanted to get off this island for as long as I could. As soon as I was dressed, I grabbed a fedora and some fingerless gloves and slid open the doors to the room and headed out, closing them behind me.

I didn't know what I was going to do or where I was even going to go. I just wanted to get away from here.

Inconveniently, I ran into Anil in the hallway just as he was heading out as well with a newspaper under his arm.

"Morning, Aang. You heading down to the Dining Hall? Breakfast was mighty good this morning!" he told me as I just walked past him with my hands placed casually in my pockets.

"No, I'm fine. I'll get something while I'm out..."

"Oh, you're going out? Well, why don't you come with me over to City Hall? I'm sure Councilman Sokka will be glad to know that you are back home."

_Sokka_ , the name echoed in my head... the name of the brother of my deceased wife...

"No, thanks... Maybe I'll stop by there later," I lied. I didn't want to see Sokka. I left this city for almost five years, with the impression that I'd be back in simply two weeks. I left Kya in his care that long for a reason. He and Suki were more capable of taking care of Kya than I ever would be. I couldn't raise her, not by myself. And I wasn't going to let the Acolytes help me in raising her either. Besides, she deserved both a father _and_ a mother, even if they were her uncle and aunt. I knew I could trust them, and that they would come to treat Kya as their own. For all I know, she could be convinced that they _are_ her mother and father. It wouldn't matter anyway. I practically fell off the face of the planet nearly two years ago.

Anil walked beside me down the hall, "Okay, but don't come too late. You know how busy it gets down there near quitting time. And I'm sure you won't be interrupting his work. He may be the chairman, but he always has time for his friends and family. Just ask his father!"

_His father!?_ _His father still steps foot in this city!? I would have thought that after Katara's funeral, he would have realized he was better staying in the South Pole where he belongs!_

"You don't say?" I said, pretending to be amused.

"Yes; in fact, I think the chief stopped by just a little over a week ago. Too bad you weren't here; I'm sure you and he would have liked to grab a drink or something together.

"A...drink?" I questioned, worried that Anil had somehow learned of my addiction. If he found out, I would never hear the end of it.

Anil let out a loud laugh, "Got you, didn't I? I know you don't drink. The only time you've ever consumed even an ounce of alcohol was at your wedding, but that was years ago!"

I faked a chuckle to hide my relief. "Yeah..." my fake smile disappeared into an ashamed frown, "...years ago..."

_I wasn't ashamed to be drinking, just so you know. It was the only way to ease the pain. I was ashamed about having to lie about it. I should have just blurted out to the entire temple that I'd become an alcoholic. Wouldn't have changed anything; they had no jurisdiction when it came to my health. I could do anything that I damn well pleased, and they couldn't do anything to stop it._

"Oh, by the way," he began, stopping in place and taking an envelope from a pocket inside his robes, "Since you've been away for some time, I assume you may be short of a few yuans." He handed me the envelope, and I had a pretty good idea as to what was inside. I proceeded to open it and found a nice allowance of about 300 yuans divided into a collection of tens. I sent Anil a look of surprise.

"I'm hoping this didn't come out of your own pockets," I said in concern.

He let out a light chuckle, "Of course it did. It's not much..."

_300 yuans is 'not much'? Now he's just being modest..._

I closed the envelope and handed it to him, "Anil, I can't take this. You earned this money; there's no reason why you should just give it away."

He shook his head in denial, "I want you to have it. I won't let you walk around the city with only 2 yuans in your pocket. Please, just take it..." he urged reluctantly.

I sighed. I knew I couldn't get him to change his mind. He was pretty stubborn when it came to things like this. Then again... so was I.

"All right," I said in defeat, placing the envelope in my jacket, "but don't expect me to not pay you back," I told him with a firm eye.

"Ha-ha, all right..."

We eventually made it out of the dorms and into the courtyard. I thought that this was where we'd finally part ways, but then I remembered that we were both getting off this island right about now. We'd probably have to take the same ferry, too... That is if I don't fly into the city? Nah... I didn't feel like it. I wanted to keep as unnoticed as I could in this city, and flying over it would definitely not go unnoticed. Moreover, everyone would immediately know it was me. How many other airbenders in the city were there? I was the only one...and I always would be. I wasn't going to go and have sex with some woman just so I could continue my race. There was only one woman in the entire world that I'd want to continue my race with...but she was gone...

Finally, Anil shut his mouth when we boarded the ferry. I thought he'd never stop talking. While Anil may have been a politician, he was definitely a talker. If you tried, I bet you could carry on a conversation with him for hours. Luckily for me, I never tried it myself. But Sokka sure did. I'm pretty sure Katara and I went to bed somewhere in the middle of one of their conversations, and I'm not even sure if they fell asleep talking, or completely talked one another into blissful sleep. All I know is that we found them both one morning with their heads collapsed on a table, snoring their heads off.

It didn't take long for us to reach the harbor. This would definitely be where we'd part ways unless Anil had the intention of following me around all day. If it came to that, I'd just have to ditch him the best I could. It would be fairly easy... It might bring some attention, but it'd be better than being followed around. I'd just simply have to use earthbending to drill into the ground and tunnel my way to an alley or something.

Fortunately, it didn't come to that. He said his "farewells" and grabbed a taxi-carriage. I breathed a sigh of relief and proceeded down the streets, scouring for a decent cafe to fill that pit of mine I called a "stomach."

Eventually, I found a small family restaurant. I had come here a few times before. Whenever Katara and I had some type of disagreement, I'd usually come here for a pot of coffee and a place to think. It wasn't exactly my favorite place to find a meal, especially considering that she was no longer around, but I just shrugged it off. I didn't feel like going anywhere else. I just wanted a bite to eat...

I pushed open the clear, glass door as I removed my hat from the top of my head. I took a moment to look around. It hadn't changed much. It still had that blue and purple layout. It was actually a cafe that served Water Tribe cuisine. Go figure, huh? The one place I went to after an argument was a cafe that served food similar to that of her own culture.

I took a seat in a curving corner booth and proceeded to pick up the menu, which hadn't changed much either.

"Good Morning," a sweet, cheerful feminine voice spoke.

I raised my head to see a waitress in a blue tunic and white apron. She was cute, I had to admit. I could tell by her features that she was definitely from the Water Tribe. She had these sparkling purple jewel-like eyes. Her brown hair was braided into a long, tail-like whip, and she had a betrothal necklace on, so I assumed she was married, or at the least, engaged. She had in hand a small notepad and pencil, ready to take my order.

"What can I get you, sir?" she asked in a tone so nice that is was shocking.

I broke my gaze to take a quick peek at the menu. "May I get a coffee and, uh, just some seaweed noodles, please?"

"Sure thing," she replied as she scribbled in her notepad. "Anything else?"

I took another look at the menu to see if there was anything else I required to fill my growling stomach.

"No, thank you," I eventually replied.

"All right, so a coffee and a bowl of seaweed noodle, correct?" she asked to confirm as she looked to me with a bright smile.

"Yes, that's right," I replied, smiling back.

The waitress then headed into the kitchen to add my order to the rack. Now I just had to wait. My eyes wandered around the restaurant aimlessly in an effort to pass the time. All of a sudden, my ears were shattered by the sound of an infant crying loudly. I was quick to discover the source. A small family a three was sitting at one of the booths lined up along the wall. The father seemed to be a dockworker judging by the overalls he was wearing. I assumed that the mother was a housewife and that the small family had decided to have breakfast together before the father had to go back to work.

The mother and father tried to quiet the fussing child, taking turns rocking him in their arms.

Before I knew it, the waitress returned with my coffee and noodles. The first thing I did was take a sip of the coffee, my eyes not removing from the small family. I wondered, _What must that be like?_ I myself would never know... Without Katara, I couldn't raise a family on my own. It wouldn't even be a family then... Just a father and daughter, cursed by the Devil who took she who was most precious to the father.

* * *

Sokka sat at his desk in his office at City Hall with a mountain of papers stacked on the sides. His office was pretty large but was mostly empty. It was tinted blue with a crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, and behind Sokka's desk was a bookcase containing a series of books and scrolls. Along the walls were various paintings and yin-yang scrolls. On his desk was a lamp and a few picture frames.

Sokka was always hard at work, forced to look through various documents until the day was out. He was just waiting for something else to come up so that he could get out of his office for at least some period of time. He was always first to arrive in the morning, and usually the last to leave at night.

He heard a knock and raised his head to see Anil in the doorway.

"Morning, Anil," the chairman greeted as his gaze returned to the documents, "You need something?"

Anil made his way into the office, "No, not really," he answered, taking a seat in the chair placed in front of Sokka's desk. "But you won't believe who showed up on the ferry last night..."

Sokka chuckled, "I bet it was my father again, right? He sure likes to drop in all of a sudden..."

"Actually, for once... no," said the Air representative.

The chairman raised his head, "Zuko?" he asked quizzically. "Huh, I'd think he'd come in one of those airships of his..."

He shook his head, "Nope, not the Fire Lord."

Sokka put down his pencil and placed his elbows on the desk, intertwining his fingers and resting his chin on them, "Then who was it?"

"It was our long-lost friend Aang himself..." Anil announced with amazement in his voice.

Sokka's eyes widened in surprise, "Aang...?" he questioned. "Aang's back home!"

He nodded, "Yep. Arrived last night around ten."

Sokka's gaze turned to one of the pictures on his desk. It was of him and I smiling widely with our arms around each other's necks, hugging one another tightly. He smiled lightly and turned back to Anil, "It's been almost five years... and here I thought he'd never come back."

"Me too. I was quite surprised myself, especially when I saw that bouquet of flowers in his hand."

Sokka quirked a brow in question, "Flowers? What would he need flowers for?" he asked himself before the realization hit him. He groaned loudly, practically banging his head against the desk. "How could I forget?" he asked himself with a voice of shame. "It was their—"

"Fifteenth anniversary..." they both said in unison.

Sokka groaned again, "How could I forget? Every year those two would test me and see if I remembered! By now, I should be able to remember it on my own!"

"Well, something tells me he wasn't exactly in a happy mood about it," stated Anil mysteriously.

Sokka raised his head in curiosity, "What do you mean?"

Anil sighed, "The moment he got back on the island, he went to their old room. I don't what happened there, but later on, in the night, I heard him screaming something. He seemed to be angry at someone, too. All I know is that before he went in there, he requested complete silence," he explained.

Sokka's eyes drifted off to the side and his voice quieted, "He must still be upset about what happened..."

"I imagine so... I ran into him this morning and asked him if he wanted to stop by here sometime later."

The chairman shook his head, "He doesn't have to," he said before an idea came to him. "Actually, I think it might be better if I invite him over for dinner tonight. I'm sure he'll be surprised as to how much Kya has grown."

Anil agreed with a nod, "I'm sure he will. I bet you two have a lot to catch up on."

"Yep, that we do," he chuckled. "If you wouldn't mind, ask him to come around six, okay?"

Anil stood up from the chair, "No problem, but, uh, Sokka?"

Sokka looked up at the representative, "Yeah?"

"I think he's changed a bit... He's let his hair grow out, and doesn't even wear his Air Nomad attire anymore," explained Anil with a tone of worry and concern.

"I'm sure he's fine..." he lied, knowing full well that I wasn't.

Anil shrugged in an unsure way, "If you say so..." he said as he headed out of Sokka's office.

Sokka kept the appearance that he had continued work, but the moment Anil left his office, he put down his pencil and looked off to the side where, next to the picture of him and I, was a picture of Katara and me from our wedding day. However, Sokka wasn't necessarily looking at me, but at his sister. Tears developed in his eyes as he looked back on that night where both of us were more afraid than we had ever been in our lives. He tried his best to muscle up a smile while his eyes stayed locked on her.

* * *

Sundown had come, and my evening temptations rose to the surface. I went out and found a pool hall not too long ago. Right now I sat at the front counter on one of the bar stools with a glass of whiskey in my hand, watching the other patrons gamble their money foolishly. Some of these people were complete idiots, betting at least five yuans each game. The most anyone had won was fifty yuans. About an hour later they lost it to some hustler. I had seen it coming... Anybody with a fully-functioning brain could have seen it coming.

Across the room, I heard a bunch of guys groan in defeat. Apparently they had just lost a game, and apparently a good bit of money. I made a wry chuckle and pulled out a carton of cigarettes that I had bought earlier. I placed it on the tip of my lips and snaps my fingers, creating a small flame on my thumb that lit the paper-wrapped stick of tobacco. After letting it smolder for a moment, I inhaled the tobacco for a good moment before blowing out a cloud of smoke from my nostrils.

I put the carton back in my jacket and gulped down the rest of my whiskey before getting up off my ass and heading over to an empty pool table. I must have played at least two games by myself before one of the other patrons approached me just before I started my next game.

"You seem pretty good," he complimented with a crooked look on his face.

"If you aren't any good, what's the use of playing?" I shrug to him as I light another cigarette.

"My point exactly. So listen, what's to say you and I play for a little cash?" he asked as he separated in hand a couple ten yuans.

I puffed out a cloud of smoke as I contemplated my response. "That depends: how much you got?"

He smiled and nodded, knowing that I was into the idea. "How much _you_ got?"

I quirked my head to the side in a shrug, "Enough..."

"Same here," he responded. "So how much you wanna play for?"

I chugged down some simple beer before responding, "Fifty each; winner takes all..."

He looked to me with question, "You must have some confidence to risk that much."

I crossed my arms and a grin of competition rose, "It's like I said: 'If you aren't any good, what's the use of playing?'"

We were both game. We took out our money and set them on the edge of the table. I gave him the first move. I couldn't really explain it, but there was a familiar look in his eye. Like me, on the outside, we both seemed like normal gamblers who bet all their money on billiards and then wasted it on booze, but I could tell from the look in his eye that he wasn't just here to pass the time. He seemed to have some alternate motive; like he had also gone through some tough times.

As the game went on, we both seemed to be equally matched. I took the solids while he took the stripes. He got in at least four stripes before he finally was unable to pocket one of his own. I took my position, lining up the cue stick with the cue ball with one eye closed as a cigarette smoldered on the tip of my lips. In a quick motion, I jabbed the cue stick forward, sending the white ball on a collision course with my orange 5-ball. I had predicted it would smack against the bright-yellow 1 ball and that both would be sent into separate pockets. The 1-ball made its way into the upper-right corner pocket and the 5-ball into the right-middle pocket. I heard him groan in dissatisfaction and I looked up at him and smiled wryly. I then proceeded with my next shot, which would pocket both the brown 7-ball and the blue 2-ball, and with any luck, the red 3-ball. Unfortunately, I was only able to pocket my 7-ball.

After failing to pocket my next shot, my opponent took his shot. While he did, I purchased another whiskey on rocks. I won't go much farther into the details. Partially because that was about the time I stopped paying attention to the game. All I can be sure of is that I won the game by pocketing the 8-ball into the bottom-left pocket. He didn't seem to be too disappointed. He gave up the money he bet with no regret.

"You played well," I remarked, suddenly finding an urge to get to know him better. "Why don't I buy you a drink?"

"With my money, no less..." he replied as we made our way to one of the small tables on the other side on the bar.

As a waiter proceeded to pass by us, I called out to her, "Get us both a shot of tequila."

She nodded in response and took off. "I don't believe I caught your name," I said to the man sitting across from me.

"It's Kazuto; what's yours?"

I wasn't stupid enough to give him my real name, so I just gave him the same alias I gave everyone else, "Kuzon," I answered as the waitress sat down our drinks. I tipped her with a few yuans before she left.

"So how long you been playing pool?" he asked me.

"About four years now. I played almost every night when I lived in the Fire Nation, but I left there a little over a year ago."

"No offense," he began, "but you really don't seem like a guy who hangs around a bar all night."

I shrugged as I picked up my small glass of alcohol and threw it down my throat in one quick motion. I sat back in my seat, "I didn't used to..." I responded.

"Me neither," he stated, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it with a match. "You know, you remind me of myself," he placed the paper-wrapped tobacco in his mouth.

I raised an eyebrow, "How so?"

He pointed at me, "That look in your eye every time you sip a drink or puff a cigarette. I doubt anyone else notices it, though."

I continued to eye him quizzically, "What are you talking about?" I questioned.

He chuckled, "You got that same look I got—the same look I've had for about ten years now. Plus, I can just tell by your actions, Kuzon."

I rolled my eyes. This guy didn't know what he was talking about. He didn't know what I was going through.

Kazuto snorted, "Yeah, go ahead and roll your eyes," he leaned forward, "Look, I didn't join you in that game just to see if I could gain a couple of extra yuans. I wanted to get to know you—find out what your problem is."

"You're out of your mind," I rolled my eyes again, "I don't got a problem..." I said firmly. "But if you claim to have one, let's hear it."

He sat back in his seat as he chugged down his shot of tequila and sighed, "If that's how you want it... Ten years ago, I worked a full-time shift at the docks unloading cargo from ships. I usually didn't get home till about seven at night. My wife and I had been married for only two years, and we were expecting our first child. But one night, while I was at work, a waterbender broke into our apartment..."

I didn't like where this was going. I started to think, _Maybe we have something in common._

He broke eye contact, "When I got home that night, I found the apartment torn up. All our valuable possessions were gone. We'd been robbed, but that wasn't the worst part. I found her body in our room, covered in blood. He had killed her; slashed her throat open..."

I remembered that murder. Sokka mentioned it one night when he got back from work. He said that they found the guy, some lowlife in need of money living in an alley not far from there.

My eyes drifted to the side, "I lost my wife about five years ago. She wasn't murdered, but..." I couldn't bring myself to say the rest.

"A lot of bastards in this city don't get it, do they? They think that our methods of coping are irrational."

I thought back on my last week in the Fire Nation when Zuko discovered my addiction. He said that I was being unreasonable and that I was throwing my life away. What life? I had no life without Katara. If it hadn't been for her, I would have never mastered the elements, I would have never become a fully-realized Avatar, and I never would have helped create the United Republic of Nations.

"You're telling me," I retorted before ordering another whiskey. "I left the Fire Nation because one of my 'friends' tried cutting me off from alcohol, and now I'm trying to avoid my brother-in-law. "

He shook his head in displeasure, "Alcohol is your only resort?" he questioned.

I shrugged, "The nicotine in cigarettes helps a bit, too. There something wrong with that?"

"No, I just thought that by now you would have heard about the other resorts available in this city," Kazuto began to lead the conversation.

I eyed him curiously as I lean forward, "What other resorts?"

He cautiously looks around for a reason I couldn't fathom. He reached into his coat pocket and took out his carton of cigarettes. I continued to eye him quizzically as he took out a small stick that looked like a normal cigarette, but the tips were pointed like it had been twisted. He casually slid it towards me.

"What is this?" I demanded as I put my hand over it, catching the impression that this wasn't a public product.

He leaned towards me, "It's got a couple of street names, but I like to call it an 'antidepressant'," he whispered softly.

I immediately caught on to what he was referring to. My eyes widened slightly in shock, "You carry around drugs? You know that's illegal, don't you?"

He scoffed, "Illegal to those who don't understand how helpful it is. I tried to commit suicide last year, but thanks to this stuff, my life's become five times easier."

_Easier_ , I questioned. _Maybe... maybe this stuff will make the dreams go away?_ I contemplated as I thought back on the pain-inflicting dreams. _But the island is full of Acolytes. What if someone found it? If they were as honorable as I believed them to be, they wouldn't hesitate to turn me in._

I slid the drug back over to Kazuto, shaking my head. "Sorry, Kazuto... But I don't do drugs."

The man rolled his eyes, "Look, why don't you just take this one as a trial run, no charge whatsoever. If you are sure you don't want it anymore, no problem. But if you do, just say the word," he tried to persuade me.

All of a sudden, I saw our waitress come forth with more of our drinks. Without giving it any more thought, I quickly snatched the drug out from the middle of the table. What was I thinking? Was I seriously considering to become a drug addict? Maybe I just didn't want Kazuto to get caught with it... Either way, I was now in possession of an illegal drug.

"Here are your drinks," the waitress says as she sets down two glasses of whiskey on rocks.

"Thanks," I responded as I proceeded to take out a couple of yuans from my wallet.

"I got it," said Kazuto, handing the woman a twenty. "Could you also get us a couple of shots of vodka?"

"Right away," she responded.

Once I was sure she wasn't within distance to hear me, I turned back to Kazuto, "Before I even consider lighting this thing at all, what the hell is it?"

"Cannabis..." he answered.

I was blank. I'd never heard of cannabis. I continued to gaze at him with no change of expression, signaling that I needed further explanation..

He rolled his eyes in slight annoyance, "It's marijuana; you know pot, weed, reefer, whatever you wanna call it."

I made a contemplative sigh, "All right, I'll give it a try..."

He smiled in satisfaction, "Good... but if you get caught..." his expression changed and his face tightened firmly with a serious look in his eyes, "...you better not sell me out."

I became a bit uneasy as I nodded in agreement and hid the joint in my cigarette carton. Since that seemed to be the ideal hiding place for Kazuto, I considered it one as well. But still... This wasn't just a bottle of liquor. This was an illegal product being smuggled in from all sorts of farms in the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation. Moreover, Sokka and the rest of the Council weren't taking this stuff lightly. When he first heard of all types of drugs appearing in the city, he put together a special task force to stop people from distributing them. But then again, that was about eight years ago, and for all I know, they haven't come any closer to stopping it.

Moments later the waitress returned with our recently ordered drinks. I got to know Kazuto a bit better. He'd been living in Republic City since his honeymoon with his wife ended. They used to live in Makapu Village, and apparently it was Aunt Wu who had introduced them about sixteen years ago.

We drank our shots of vodka, and I immediately noticed the strong buzz it caused in me. We ordered another couple of shots of vodka, becoming overwhelmed by the alcohol content. By now we were sure to be completely intoxicated. I don't remember much after that. God knows whatever Kazuto and I did. Before I even knew it, I was sitting alone at the front counter with a bottle of whiskey in my hand. My head lay there on the counter, whereas the rest of my body just slumped forward. My arms were completely motionless. I thought that maybe I had passed out and that I was just now waking up.

I heard the dropping of footsteps approach me. I couldn't hear anything else besides that. The room was completely dark other than a couple of lights hanging just over the counter. I assume it was closing time, but I couldn't move a muscle in my body. If I tried, I could probably sleep here all through the night and not even realize it till morning.

Now the footsteps stopped, and a shadow of darkness swept over me and a female voice shattered the silence. "Sir? Sir, are you awake?

I might as well have been passed out. All those drinks had drowned me in a pool of fatigue and nausea. If I even tried to get up, I'd probably fall flat on my face.

I heard another voice enter the room. "Pardon me, but I'm looking to see if my friend is here."

I recognized that voice, but my extreme drunkenness made it impossible to match it up with the owner's face.

The footsteps began again, but this time they were leaving. "This may be him over here, but I can't be sure."

"Thanks," the voice said and the patter of footsteps began again.

Each and every sound made my head ache. I decided that if I went to sleep right now, I wouldn't have to endure it any longer.

"Hmph... Haven't seen that arrow in a while," the voice said as its owner loomed over my body, "Long time no see, buddy."

I must know this person. Not only had the voice become more familiar, but even the woman who had been trying to deduce whether I was passed out or not didn't even notice the arrow on my forehead.

I didn't want to be bothered, especially by someone I knew. I managed to gain some control over my empty hand and proceeded to stick out my middle finger.

"Not the response I was hoping for..." he murmured. "Come on, Aang. Is that really how you greet your big brother-in-law?"

_Big brother-in-law?_ I questioned in my head. _Oh, God no..._

It was Sokka. Now the match was definite. Out of all the people in the world, why'd it have to be him? I managed to pick my head up from off the counter.

He crossed his arms, "You know, I invite you to dinner and hope that you would at least say you couldn't make it. Instead, you have Anil search the entire island only to deduce that you're nowhere to be found, and then he has to come to my house to tell me so. And then I have to miss out on dinner with my own family to scour through dozens of bars just to find you."

_You're own family? All you got is a wife who can't have children..._

"I was busy..." I managed to respond.

I didn't see it, but I knew he was rolling his eyes, "'Busy...' Well, I didn't know that getting drunk was such a time-consuming activity."

"Screw you..."

He sighed, "Alright, come on. Let's get you home," he said as he removed the bottle of alcohol from my hand and proceeded to throw my arm over his neck, pulling me onto my feet. As I said, I could barely move my body, so most of the time we were wobbling from left to right from the difference in balance.

Eventually, we made it outside, where Sokka sat me inside an ostrich-horse-drawn carriage. I found myself laying down across the seats, while fatigue and nausea overwhelmed me. Just moments later, my body jerked backward as we took off. The world grew darker and dead silence took over. My aching head and exhaustion finally took the controls and I fell into a deep sleep.

* * *


	4. The Pain Never Dies

* * *

**Chapter 4:  
** **The Pain Never Dies**

_The illuminating glow of the crescent moon seeped into our room from the open window, allowing the cool February breeze to flow past our skins. Kya was three months old, and Katara and I had just laid her down for bed. Our little joy had certainly made the day as enjoyable as her little mind could imagine. She certainly wore Momo out, as he had fallen asleep in Kya's gentle grasping arms. Now there they lay in the crib, sleeping soundly dreaming peaceful dreams till they awaken to a new day of joy. But the day wasn't just filled with our daughter's happiness, but ours as well. Seeing our daughter happy...well, that was enough to make us happy. But every day had to come to an end, and we had to force ourselves from watching our daughter sleep any longer._

_I rested my hand atop hers and gave it a gentle squeeze._

_She turned to me with a puzzled look on her face; like I had just yanked her out of the most blissful daydream she could imagine._

" _We should follow her lead and head to bed ourselves," I said to her, muscling up an encouraging smile. "I have to get up extra early if I'm going to make it to Ba Sing Se by tomorrow night."_

_Her eyes trailed away back to our sleeping daughter. "I wish you didn't have to go..." she said in soft dismay before returning to me, "Can't you just send Anil in your place?"_

_Me, Sokka, Zuko, Hakoda, and Arnook were all meeting Kuei in Ba Sing Se the day after tomorrow. It was part of this arrangement we all made after that whole conflict during the Harmony Restoration Movement. After the Movement was discontinued and Zuko and I founded the United Republic of Nations, we put together an act where all the world's government leaders would meet twice a year—once, at the beginning, February and again at the beginning of November—to discuss worldly concerns and other subjects of business. Iroh would also make an appearance as one of the Order of the White Lotus' leaders if a certain situation called for it. In the last fifteen years, we've only called in Iroh about once or twice._

" _So do I, but these things are necessary in order to keep the peace," I tried to reassure her. "And you know that if I could send Anil, I would. But I'm the only member of the Air Nomads left, and moreover, I'm the Avatar. It's my job to help maintain the only period of peace since the War."_

_I meant for it to sound like I was trying to remain as committed to my Avatar duties as I was to my duties as a husband and father. But I was just as depressed about leaving as she was. Kya was born only three months ago and I wasn't any ready to leave her than I was her mother. Because these meetings were organized so that the world's leaders could meet and solve any problems, I had to leave Katara here because she wasn't a world leader. Sure, she had Suki and all the female Acolytes, but she and I both knew that being apart was like living in an empty world. The only time I didn't have to go to one of those meetings was the past November when Katara was still very pregnant. But that was the only exception. They all understood that with a baby on the way, it wasn't the best time to be traveling and leaving her alone. But now I had to leave both her and Kya alone, and it made me feel ashamed._

_She tried her best to make an understanding smile, "I know, and I respect you for that. It's just..." she drifted back to our daughter, "...I hate being without you; you know that," she continued before turning to look into my eyes with love, "I guess I should look on the bright side: I'll have a piece of you right here with me."  
_

_I didn't understand at first. I thought she was talking about the island or the Air Acolytes at first until I saw her glance at our daughter—the combination mine and Katara's love in the most precious form._

_I continued to smile at her with assurance. "Come on, let's go to bed," I told her, linking her hand with mine as we strolled over to our king-sized bed, eventually parting ways when our arms would no longer reach the other. We then undressed into our sleeping attire. Katara wore an orange and yellow silk night robe—courtesy of her loving husband—while I undressed into a dark, almost Fire Nation red, orange pair of shorts. Now it was time to head to sleep. We climbed under the sheets and rested our heads against our pillows, ready for a good night's sleep._

_Or at least I was..._

_Not even five seconds after we had laid down I began to feel her fingers walk up to my arm and to my shoulder, finally walking up to my head until is reached my scalp, where she then began the slide her index finger up and down the middle of my tattoo as she came closer towards me. This was her way of getting the mood started. I knew where she was going with this._

_She began to plant light kisses on my cheek while I just lied there, continuing to try and seek sleep._

_Apparently she saw that as a sign of resilience, and suddenly climbed over on top of my and straddled my hips, caressing my cheeks as she pressed her lips against mine. I wanted to resist, but I could never resist her lips. Passion took over and my arms wrapped around her waist and I pulled her against my body as we kissed with all our passion. She had that seductive look in her eye when we finally had to break away for breath. It was too alluring, and I almost gave it. But I couldn't, or rather, I didn't want to. Not just yet... But even so, I couldn't show it with my facial expressions._

_When Katara caught her breath, she leaned down and began to kiss my neck, sucking on the skin and almost making it impossible to resist her while her hands ran up and down my chest. I admit I was lured into the passionate lust as well, running my hand down to her butt and squeezing it, causing her to moan in pleasure. My free hand rubbed against her back as I nibbled on her earlobe, resulting in throaty moans running against my neck as she continued to suck on the skin. The hand that had been grasping her butt began to rub it as well, resulting in more pleasurable moans. She must have realized that I wasn't receiving as much pleasure from her as she was me, because she transitioned from my neck to my lips, darting her tongue into my mouth and brushing it against my own. She pressed herself harder against me, and I could feel her breasts pressed against the upper portion of my chest._

_I couldn't help but give in to the lust. I flipped us over, causing her to yelp softly as I now laid on top of her, staring into her crystal blue eyes. One of my hands gripped the back of her head, crashing our lips together and wrestling our tongues while my other hand went to fondle her left breast. My actions nearly made the left side of her robe slide off, and before I knew it, our hips were grinding against one another, releasing passionate throaty moans from our linked lips. We were heading for the limit—the limit I was reluctant to reach until a certain amount of time had passed._

_My left hand had begun to remove her robe from her shoulders when I finally found the strength to resist._

_I disconnected our lips instantly. "Stop..." I said in a gasp, breathing heavily._

_She stared at me, puzzled, "What's wrong? I thought—I thought we were going to make love?" she said in between heavy breaths, making me feel guilty for my decision._

" _We were..." I told her, "...but..." I sighed, rolling off of her so that I now lay beside her. I had succeeded in revealing a portion of her breast, seeing as how she then proceeded to cover it with a look of dismay. I continued to breathe a bit heavy, but not as much because of my airbender-enhanced lungs._

" _But what?" she questions with disappointment in her voice and her eyes staring at the ceiling, obviously more than just disappointed. She turned her head towards me, "Don't you want to make love to me, though? We haven't done it in almost a year..." her voice began to trail off as she turned back to the ceiling. "I thought that with me not being pregnant with Kya anymore, we would finally... you know..."_

_Now I really began to feel guilty. "Of course I do. Next to marrying you and having a child, making love to you is the greatest thing I've ever done with you!"_

" _Then why don't you want to do it now?" she questioned, rolling onto her side and propping up her head with her elbow jabbed into the pillow._

_I sighed, knowing I'll have to tell her. "For years we tried to get you pregnant, Katara. When we found out Suki couldn't have children, and she and Sokka had been trying for just about as long as we had been, we almost thought that you couldn't have children either. There were nights I heard you crying in the bathroom, and it broke my heart. But...that night that we made Kya, it wasn't even for the purpose of getting you pregnant! It was just pure pleasure, and before we knew it, you were pregnant," I explain as I keep my eyes locked on hers._

" _But what does that have to do with making love now? Kya's born, and she's over there in her crib with your pet lemur in a sleeper-hold...literally!" she cried quietly as she gestured a hand towards the crib on the other side of the room._

_My eyes trail away from hers as I contemplate my reply. "Kya is only three months old, Katara; if we made love tonight, and just so happened to get you pregnant again, Kya would be only twelve months old by the time you give birth to another child."_

" _Is that so wrong?" she questions, puzzled._

" _No," I answered quickly, "It's just... What would that say to Kya? I mean, I know you and your brother are only a year apart, but..." I sighed again; knowing I wasn't going to make a really good point; I took a deep breath and started again, "I want to spend as much of my life as I can watching her grow up. If we have another child already, then we'll have to keep up with them both, and of course, the younger one will need more attention for the time being. It could send a bad message to Kya and..." I paused, not knowing how to continue. I just sighed again in defeat, rolling onto my side so that I was no longer facing her, "I'll come clean with you: It's for a selfish reason. I-I want our children to be spaced apart; not born one after another..."_

_After I said that, it felt like hours of dead silence had passed by, and I was sure that Katara had gone to sleep disappointed in me for stating that we would pay more attention to one child than the other. We had turned away from each other, our backs facing one another as we stared at the walls. But out of nowhere, I felt her lips press softly against my cheek._

" _I love you," she said, wrapping her arm around me and pulling herself against me, resting her head in the crook of my neck._

_I turned over and returned the kiss, throwing my arm over her curved body as I slid closer. Now we were facing one another, our noses just centimeters apart, looking into each other's eyes, remembering the day we first met, and the many great times and hardships that followed..._

* * *

Light shined at my now awakened body and blinded my vision as my eyelids popped open, tearing me away from a highly-desired fantasy. Still half asleep, I managed to drift to my left, stupidly and remorsefully expecting to see her there beside me, sleeping soundly in her nightgown. But there was nothing except a plain brown wall. I made a stupid move... For one thing, the bed was designed for only a single user. If two were to try and share it, they'd have to press their bodies against one another. I guess a part of me was hoping that I could still be doing that with her... But that dream was different than all the others. Normally my dreams consisted of spending time with both Katara _and_ Kya, but this one seemed to mainly focus only on Katara and me.

I guess I shouldn't be thinking about this too much. After all, these dreams felt completely real.

It wasn't until now that I realized that my brain was being slammed against my skull by a pair of steel fists. I sat up in the bed, rubbing my temples as I grumbled tiredly. I hadn't noticed at the moment that I was completely dressed in my pajamas, but that I had no recollection of changing. That's when I became clear of the previous night and where this great pain in my cranium was coming from. It had to be a hangover, because the only thing I remember for sure is sharing a couple of shots with Kazuto, and now I was in my bed, dressed in pajamas, with no recollection of even leaving the bar.

"I'm guessing you slept well..."

The voice came from out of nowhere, but I recognized it immediately.

I turned to see Sokka sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, leaning forward with his arms rested against his legs and fingers enjoined, and a look of patience on his face.

I groaned in disgust, covering my face with my hands in an attempt to ease down the incredible force that was smashing against the insides of my head, "How did you get in here?" I demanded with an annoyed tone.

"Well, there's this great invention called a door..."

_Smartass..._

I rub my eyes to get the eye-boogers out, sniffling softly, "No, I mean who gave you permission to be here?"

I heard the chair creak as he sat back, "If my memory recalls correctly, you did...a long time ago. I believe your exact words were, 'anyone's welcome on Air Temple Island!' Or was that just you being modest?"

_I could really go without this smart-ass attitude of his..._

I sniffled again; throwing the covers from off my body and taking a stand that made my vision go black for a short period of time. I slumped over to the desk on the other side of the room, opening my bag and digging through it. I pulled out a shirt and some slacks and gestured them at the councilman.

"You wanna watch me get dressed or would you mind waiting outside?" I said with much rudeness.

He reached under the chair and grabbed a pile of folded orange and yellow clothes and tossed them towards me, "Long as you dress into these."

I caught the clothes in mid-air, immediately knowing that they were—or had been—my regular Air Nomad attire.

I knew that fighting it would be pointless, so I plainly retorted, "Fine..."

Once he left, I put on the change of clothes. It had been quite a while since I had worn these... I believe it was only a few weeks after leaving this city that I changed my fashion sense. I have to admit, however, that I forgot just how appropriate it felt to wear these. A soft curve took over my lips as I looked at myself in the mirror. Maybe... maybe I should start wearing these again?

I slid open the doors to my room to find Sokka waiting just outside. My curving lips turned upside-down as I walked right past him.

"Don't you have work today?" I asked stubbornly as I plotted an escape.

Before I could even get four feet away from him, he was standing right beside me. "I took the day off. Thought you and I could spend a little time together; you know, catch up."

"There's nothing to 'catch up' on... So why don't you just do us both a favor and leave?" I inadvertently said aloud.

_Dammit_ , I curse to myself. Knowing Sokka, he definitely won't leave me alone now. Odds are he already sees through my disguise, so it wouldn't matter anyway. If I had to guess, I doubt it was Anil who picked me up from that bar last night.

"Sure there is!" he responded cheerfully, "Come on, let's get some breakfast."

I felt like rolling my eyes, but something kept me from doing so and I was tempted to just go along with it. I found myself following him to the Dining Hall where all the other Acolytes were eating their breakfasts. The moment I walked into the room, I was greeted with many friendly smiles and head bows. I just simply tilted my head down a small bit before sitting on my knees at one of the tables in the middle of the room. One of the Acolytes approached us with bowls of some type of egg salad.

Sokka immediately began to consume the meal. Not too surprising... I, on the other hand, was pretty reluctant to eat with this raging headache.

"Try it!" my brother-in-law insisted, "Tastes pretty good!"

What use was there in avoiding the consumption of food? It was just food, and it would probably help with this raging pain. I picked up my chopsticks and proceeded to take a bite. It tasted pretty good! It was definitely better than any other breakfast I've had in a long while. But then again, the female Air Acolytes were always masters at cooking, and so were some of the males, although, the look on Sokka's face made me a bit suspicious. I couldn't explain it, but he seemed a bit—how should I say?—expectant, as if he were waiting for me to make a comment.

"So...? How do you like it?" he asked in hopes of some kind of review.

I'm questioning his intentions at this point, but I simply answered, "It's pretty good."

A confident, proud smile shined off his face, "I would hope so! I made it myself!"

I nearly choked on the leaves of lettuce that were slithering down my throat. _Sokka... cooks?_ Normally Sokka would be one to devour food. I've never been able to imagine him preparing it himself, especially in such large quantities!

But I tried to maintain my attitude. For some strange reason, I don't feel like giving him the satisfaction of another compliment on his cooking. Just that one seemed to be one too many...

I continued my meal, keeping a calm, blank face, "Since when did you learn how to cook?"

"Well, when I can get off early, I like to come home and kick Suki out of the kitchen and prepare dinner myself. I started to feel that Suki was doing too much around the house while I was at work, so I thought that maybe I can learn to cook myself and make dinner for the three of us."

_'The three of us..._ ' Those four words smacked me with a feeling of guilt and depression.

I felt myself slump forward a bit in reaction, "Oh... I see..." was all I could say.

Sokka was clearly remaining as cheerful as he could. "Yep... I made something similar for Suki and Kya this morning."

That caught my attention. My half-lidded, bored, and drowsy eyes shot open. I had just realized that that was the first time in a long while that I had heard her name said aloud.

"You know, her birthday is coming up real soon..." he reminded me.

I don't think I've ever referred to that day as "Kya's birthday." As far as I can remember, it's only been the day that she was taken from me. Now I knew what Sokka was trying to do. He was trying to guilt-trip me; remind me that I've practically given up Kya to him and that I haven't seen her since she was only a week old. I wasn't going to let him get through to me, though. I made my decision. It's what was best for both me and Kya. She could grow up with a real family that included both a mother and father, filled with love and support. And I could stop myself from becoming a single father, forced to raise a child that he himself knows he cannot raise well. If I even tried, odds are she'd grow up troubled because she was raised without a mother and a father that could never understand her as a mother would. I would fail... I didn't need to test that to be sure.

I tried to continue with my meal, but now thoughts of Kya were popping up in my head, making the headache become exponentially stronger. I could hear her cries in my back of my mind, and see that crying child held in my arms on the night she was born. Katara's final words echoed in my head: "Please...take care of Kya, please...take care of Kya, please...take care of Kya..." I couldn't stand it! It was too much!

Before I could even take note of it, my eyes were slowly flooding with water. I tried to hold them back. How could I, though? With these images replaying in my mind, it was like reliving that night all over again, numerous times in a never-ending cycle of repeats.

My chopsticks rested in the bowl leaning on the curve of the circular dishware as I covered my face with my hands, trying to regain control over my emotions. The room became dead silent with the exception of my soft sobs.

"I… I'm sorry, Aang. I didn't mean for you—" Sokka eventually said with remorse.

"Sokka…" I began, wiping my eyes clean of the tears, only for them to resurface seconds later, "…just… leave, please," I sniffled softly, "I'll… I'll come over later, okay? I just… need some time to—"

"I understand," he replied with a soft, almost sad voice. I could tell by the look on his face that he must have been feeling the same thing I was, but unlike me, he had better control over how it was displayed.

I was lying, of course, about coming over. He practically succeeded in putting me on a guilt-trip, or at the very least, a trip of grief. And since I knew him as well as I did, I knew that he would be seeing this as guilt, and he would feel compelled to trust anything I said—which he did. Just moments later, he and all the other Acolytes left the room, giving me my privacy. In a way, I guess you could say it was all an act. The tears and emotions were real; however, everything else might as well have been staged. I wanted to be alone, and I knew just how to do it. I admit... it is kind of sick to use such grief and use it as an advantage to keep others out of my business, but it was certainly an effective strategy if nothing else.

* * *

I eventually found myself on the other side of the island, near the bison caves. The bison should have already been fed, so I wouldn't have to worry about anyone following me down here. I needed to be alone, and I needed booze. But I no longer had any money to purchase it with. I knew that I couldn't have spent a whole six hundred yuans at a single bar on a single night. I was quick to come to a conclusion—Sokka had confiscated the money so that I couldn't go off and get drunk again. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Sokka's no idiot… He probably knew that even if I promised to come over—as I had just done—I would get out of it by going and drinking myself to sleep or God knows what else.

Either way, he hadn't confiscated my smokes. I was a bit surprised by that. Maybe he just didn't find them. Good thing, too, because if he had opened them and found that joint I got from Kazuto, I'd be in some real trouble. Since I couldn't get any alcohol, I decided that the nicotine would be a worthy substitute.

I made sure I was alone, glancing in every direction. Not a soul in sight… I proceeded to flip over the lid of the carton, popping up a single cigarette. I hesitated to grasp it, staring at the tipped roll of marijuana. I wonder… Would this drug truly work better than alcohol and cigarettes ever could? I contemplated whether or not I should try and find out. I felt a strong urge to just light it and see for myself. But a part of me was screaming at me, questioning why I was even thinking over this with so much consideration. Eventually, I made a decision. I proceeded to take the cigarette I had popped out of the carton. I placed the tip on my lips and snapped my fingers.

All of a sudden, I heard a low, almost menacing growl that nearly made my heart jump out of my chest. I turned to the source and saw Appa, my trusty and beloved sky bison. Only now had I realized that I haven't seen him since I got back. I decided to ignore him and once again snapped my fingers, producing a small flame. Appa growled once more, this time much angrier.

I sent him an annoyed look as the flame disappeared, "What's your problem?" I demanded, removing the cigarette from my lips. "You've been fed, haven't you?"

The hairy bison groaned softly, lying down on its belly and keeping its gaze locked onto me. I made a "humph" of annoyance and just put paper-wrapped tobacco back on my lips. I once again made an attempt to light it. Instead of growling, this time Appa blew a soft breeze of the wind at me from his mouth that sent the cigarette flying over into one of the nearby bushes.

I spun around, "Hey!" I snapped. "What did you do that for?"

He just snorted in disapproval. Knowing him for so long, I knew exactly why. The old version of me would have never smoked, and Appa hadn't known that I had changed some of my ways. He didn't want me to light it, but it wasn't his choice.

I scoffed, "Things change, Appa. _People_ change… and you're just going have to accept that," I told him, proceeding to take out yet another cigarette as I walked away from his stable. I could tell that his eyes had followed me until I was out of sight.

* * *

As the day continued on, I found that I couldn't go any longer without booze. The nicotine wasn't enough. I could still hear her voice replaying over and over again in my head. I was going crazy. I needed that voice to stop! I knew I needed to obtain money somehow. I couldn't just give up because Sokka had taken my money. Besides, I had a safe that I kept in my office in the main portion of the temple.

_Do you remember how I told you all that the government would always send me money for my Avatar duties? Well, let's just say that they pay their Avatars handsomely well. Anyways, I knew that we wouldn't need all that money; at least, not anytime soon. So what I did was stash the majority of it in that safe. There were only two people in the world that knew where it was hidden and its combination: Katara and I, so not even Sokka could get a hold of that money even if he tried. I needed to be sure that safe could never be broken into. Safes are usually made of steel, and with Toph's Metalbending Academy and police force of metalbenders, one of them could easily break into it. I could never allow that to happen. The money that was stashed in there, it was there for a purpose and one purpose only. When I passed away, the government would stop sending money, because it was given as a sort of "thanks" for performing my Avatar duties. Even if Katara is my wife, they wouldn't send her money for no reason whatsoever. It was nothing personal... just business. So if I were to be killed or one day died unexpectedly, I needed to be sure that the Acolytes, Katara, and any children we may have had would be financially secure for a long time, and by the time any of it ran out, hopefully, they'd find a new way to make ends meet. There must be at least 500,000 yuans in that safe by now. And like I said, I could never allow anyone to break into it, not even law enforcement. So I had the safe made out of platinum—a metal so pure that apparently even Toph couldn't bend it. Besides Katara and me, the only person who knew about the safe was the metalworker who constructed it. I know that you may be thinking that I may be a little overprotective over it, but this was the money that would keep my wife from having to deal with something like financial stability when I passed on, and if any of our children decided to go to a university, we'd be able to pay for it._

I went up to my office, suddenly becoming very nostalgic as I entered the room. There was a rug placed across the middle of the room, with a chair placed in the corner beside the doorway. My desk was placed near the back of the room, just in front of a circular bookcase that held several books and scrolls. There were times that I had to spend countless hours in here, going through all sorts of stressful and complicated documents. As I stared into the room, an old memory of mine began to come to life before my eyes. An almost transparent figure in my form, only about twelve years younger, sat at the desk with a pile of papers stacked high, as well as multiple papers from that very stack laid out across the desk. I sat there with a feathered pen in my hand, my elbow resting against the edge as I rubbed my temple in frustration.

What came next was a strange sight. An almost transparent Katara, who was instead seven years younger (since she died five years ago), walked right through me and into the room with a small tray carrying a small cup of tea and a bowl of rice in her hands. As she came around to my side of the room, she used a single hand to wipe the papers out from in front of me and replaced them with the tray.

" _Hey, I was reading those!"_ my younger self snapped.

She didn't seem fazed by my tone, placing a kiss on the top of my smoothly-shaved head as she rested a hand on my shoulder.

" _You need to eat..."_ she told me affectionately.

I shook my head and slid the tray away and swiping a document back in front of me, _"I don't have time to eat; I told you that. I need to get this stuff done."_

As always, she wouldn't take that as an answer. She once again slid the papers away and replaced them with the food. _"There's no way you can work on an empty stomach."_

" _Katar_ _a, I don't have time! You know that when I have piles of work to do I need to be left alone! I appreciate the consideration, but I don't need you interrupting what is already nerve-racking,"_ I snapped once again, this time much harsher and irritated than before.

I tried to get back to my work, but she grabbed my shoulders and pulled them against the back of the chair. I tried to pull away, but she gave me a firm "stay" and I gave in. Her soft, tender, beautiful hands began to rub up and down my shoulders and collarbones, making me become very relaxed. I lied back in my seat, my head swaying left and right from the relief of stress. It continued like that for a few minutes until she caressed my chin, pulling my head back so that I was staring up at her to receive a loving kiss from her lips to mine.

" _Feel like eating now?"_ she asked so softly it was practically in a whisper.

I smiled and nodded, _"Yeah... I'm sorry."_

I remembered having several of these moments with her. They were practically the same thing over and over again—me busy, her trying to help me, me snapping at her for it, and her eventually relaxing me. I'm surprised that we—or actually, I—never learned to just accept she was trying to do. To this very day, I find it amazing that she never got tired of it. She always just went along with it and insisted that she do her best to get me to relax. No matter what I said... she never got mad, she never got annoyed, she never even said a word that would make me feel ashamed of it. I wish she had, though. Maybe then it wouldn't have happened so frequently.

With the memory faded away, I close the door behind me and proceeded to find the safe. I approached the bookshelf and removed an entire shelf of books and placed them on the desk. Then, I removed one of the shelves itself and set it aside. By removing the books and shelf, I revealed a dark-brown, pry-resistant recessed door with concealed hinges that was built into the wall when I constructed the temple. On the middle-right side of the door was a small keyhole. I turned around and opened one of the drawers in my office desk and scuffled around until I found a small brown envelope. I opened it and found a small key.

_I told you that I was protective of this safe..._

Once I found the key to the compartment, I unlocked the door and opened it to find the platinum safe. I twisted the dial, entering the complex combination I had set for it over fifteen years ago. As I did this, I remembered my whole reason for even having this safe made. Now it seemed I wasted all that money on the platinum for nothing…

The lock clicked as I entered the final digit. I grabbed the small handle and pulled it downwards, opening the small door to the safe. Inside were piles of yuans stacked all the way to the roof of this box of protection. I don't believe I've ever been in such desperation for money in my life as I grabbed a single stack of bills that rounded out to about 200 yuans. I needed no more than that. Once done, I put everything back the way it should be. It looked as though nothing had been touched, and even the books were placed back on the shelf in the same position they had been before, with one book leaning against the side of the shelf's wall.

* * *

Hours had passed. The sun was a bright; blinding orange as it tinted the sky with that very same orange, only weaker, with small traces of blue and purple joining it to give a perfect, beautiful sunset. If only I had taken the time to enjoy it. Instead, after withdrawing 200 yuans from my personal "bank", I roamed around the city aimlessly with a newly purchased bottle of whiskey in my hand, hidden inside a brown paper bag.

I must have allowed that bottle to last until sundown since I had bought it near noon and it was already sundown. A new record! Usually, it took me three whole bottles. I must be getting better at this…whatever _this_ is.

Over the course of the day, I debated with myself several times on whether to light that joint hidden in my pack of cigarettes. If it was any consolation, I still hadn't. I thought to myself, _Maybe_ _I can find Kazuto at the bar and get him to take this thing back_.

So that's what I did.

I went to the very same bar just around the time I had the night before. I promised myself to not start drinking while I was there. If I started, I probably wouldn't be able to stop. Not in this state of emotion. I was lucky to even be around it all and control it.

But… that didn't last long.

I never took the time to change out of my Air Nomad attire before I left. The moment I got hold of that money, I might as well have been a homeless man who just won the lottery. I had roamed around the city wearing those clothes, chugging down alcohol on the streets in front of random wanderers. They may have been random, but I certainly wasn't. How many men do you see wearing Air Nomad attire while chugging down alcohol from a paper bag? They could have considered the fact that I was a troubled Acolyte, or figured it out altogether.

It's not like mine and Katara's marriage was a secret, and neither was her death. The entire city knew of the happily married couple who were the Avatar and daughter of the Southern Water Tribe chief. When she died, it wouldn't take long for the whole city, the nation, and possibly, even the world to hear of the news that the Avatar who saved all their lives had just become a widow.

I didn't even spend twenty minutes in that bar when I began to hear my name in a nearby conversation. It was like being in that Fire Nation school I had enrolled in for only a few days all over again, watching them all cast glances before whispering back to their classmates, except it wasn't a whole student body and instead a couple of surprisingly sober bums gossiping.

"That guy over there—sitting at the bar counter—don't you know who he is?" one of them asked another.

"How should I know?" he asked. "All those Acolytes look the same to me…"

"Maybe so, but do all those Acolytes have arrows on their hands?"

_Dammit_ , I thought, twirling around in the barstool so that I now faced the numerous bottles of liquor and glassware that were placed on shelves against the wall. My hair may have been long enough to cover my arrow from a distance, but the arrows on my hands were left totally exposed. It was no doubt that the man had seen them.

"Dude, you can't be serious…" the man continued with a question. "Everyone knows that Avatar Aang is a monk, the last of his kind. Implying that that's him over there, in a freaking bar, is like saying that turtle-ducks can fly. Besides, everyone knows he left Republic City five years ago, and no one's seen him since."

"Do you even know why he left?"

"Who doesn't? His wife died in her sleep, probably poisoned."

"That's not what I heard…"

I heard the other man sigh irritably, "Okay, smartass… What did you hear?"

_Shut up…_ I mentally warned the other patron, who was storming full-steam-ahead into a conversation that I knew would throw me over the edge.

"Well, you do know that she was, like, eight months pregnant the night she died, right?"

"Common knowledge nowadays…" the other patron said, not seeming amused. "But go on…"

_I wouldn't advise that…_

"I heard that she actually died giving birth. I think I heard it was a daughter. Or was it a son? Either way, some say that after her funeral, he gave his child up to Councilman Sokka—"

"His brother-in-law…?" the other man interrupted.

"Yeah, and as we all know, he left for almost five years. But it looks like he's back…"

"Where'd you hear all this from anyway? How do I know you aren't just pulling my leg?"

_Just make him shut his mouth…_

"This guy I know heard it from one of the healers Avatar Aang had hired."

The man scoffed, "Whatever… Assuming that is what happened, you can't possibly still be thinking that bum over there is Avatar Aang. I mean, just look at his hair—it's all over the place! Avatar Aang's head was always shaven; he'd never let it grow out that much."

"Maybe he's changed…" the gossiper continued. "He lost his wife and gave up his child already—wouldn't surprise me if he started drinking. I'm surprised myself, actually. You'd think that even if he lost his wife, he'd at least give her the courtesy of raising their child. Instead, he just ran away…"

By now, I had ordered a shot of vodka. Vodka didn't exactly agree with my system all the time, and after consuming almost two shot-glasses full of it, I wouldn't have much control over what I was about to do next.

I stood up from the bar and began approaching the two patrons who were still carrying on a conversation. By now they were playing a game of darts on the other side of the room. As soon as I got close to them, the gossiper became immediately afraid.

"Looks like you were right about that guy being Avatar Aang," the other man said to his friend. He turned to me, seemingly friendly, "Look, he's an idiot—a guy who loves spreading rumors that aren't true. We had no intention of offending you."

I had no control over myself, and after everything they had said, I didn't really care.

"What gives either of you the right to talk about my wife or her death, or my daughter for that matter?" I demanded darkly.

"But it's true, isn't it?" the gossiper cried out, demanding an answer while pointing a finger at me accusingly.

Using quick speed, I grabbed the man's finger, twisting his arm around to the point where if I twisted anymore, it'd easily break his arm. "Whether it is true or not is none of your business," I said and got a firm grasp on his upper arm, just below the elbow, and his wrist and twirled him around, sending him stumbling backward and ramming his back into the corner of a pool table.

A couple of patrons were playing at that table, and one of them had set their bottle of beer on the corner that I had thrown the guy into. When he was rammed into the corner, he had knocked it over and it spilled all over the green layout, with some of it seeping into the slots the corners. They threw curses at him left and right, but surprisingly, no one took a swing at him. Good… I wanted to do that myself.

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, which was stained with dirt, and lifted him off his feet. He was looking into my eyes with fear, and it was clear that he was sorry for what he had said. Too bad he hadn't been earlier.

"I-I'm sorry for what I said; just please don't hurt me!" he pleaded hopefully.

He pulled him closer to my face, "You should have thought about that before!" I then threw him against the wall. His back slammed against it, creating a damaging hole in the plaster. He landed on his hands and knees, groaning softly as his friend came to his aid, asking if he were okay.

"Your friend should learn to use his manners," I said harshly as I proceeded to leave the bar.

The moment I turned around, I immediately heard—or rather felt—a piece of the earth being removed from the ground. Using the seismic sensing Toph had taught me, I determined the actions taking place behind me. The man that I had shoved into the wall was an earthbender who decided to exact revenge. He removed a rock from the ground of the building and given the bottom of it sharp points so that I'd be punctured with small stabs when it made contact with my body. He jabbed the earth forward at rocket speed. But I had already anticipated the trajectory of the object. In one swift motion, I caught and crushed the rock from behind and spun around, forming a flame in my fist that I then shot at my attacker. The flame hit him square in the chest and he was pounded against the wall once again, only this time he fell flat on his face, unconscious, rather than catching himself with his hands and knees.

The friend looked to me with shock and horror. "What have you become?" he asked, his whole body quivering.

I scoffed, "Like you ever really knew me…" I said coldly in his face and turned back around, only to be greeted with several staring, shocked eyes directed at me personally. The whole bar had been frozen in time. Patrons playing pool had their cue sticks in hand, standing straight up in the air beside them, drinkers sat at tables with glasses of whiskey that had barely been touched, and even the bartenders had stopped what they were doing. I scanned the room with my eyes. Each and every set of eyes was either full of surprise or fear, and sometimes even both. It was like they were all waiting for me to move, to move even a single muscle so they could all cower behind something. My drunken self didn't feel any change in emotion. I simply continued forward, snatching a shot of tequila from the bar counters and snapping the glass towards my mouth, sending the alcohol directly down my throat. I breathed out my refreshment in satisfaction as I threw the glass straight to the ground, spreading shards of glass all over the floor.

I threw open the door and left the establishment, leaving behind a crowd of stares.

About five or ten minutes had passed as I drunkenly and aimlessly roamed the streets. I didn't know where I was going or what I was intending to do. I just seemed to be walking just to be walking. That is until something changed up the night.

All of a sudden, I heard a firm, seriously tone say from behind me, "Avatar Aang, I'm going to need you to come with me."

I knew the nature of his voice. It had come from a law enforcer—one of _Toph's_ law enforcers. It was exactly how she had trained them. "Keep firm and stable. Show them that they have to listen to you now." That's what she would tell them. I was always amazed at how much they respected her. Being trained by her was like buying a one-way ticket to a Hell of pain and aching muscles. Either way, they still formed a great and productive law enforcement program. Too bad I was now one of their targets…

I turned around with a friendly, slightly-drunken smile, "What seems to be the problem, officer?"

The officer kept a firm, almost stone expression on his face. He tried to show he had no problem arresting me, but even though his face showed it, his eyes didn't. It was like they were shaking in their sockets. He was utterly nervous, but he tried not to show it. Inside, I was smiling deviously. Getting out of this would be easy.

"I've received a report from dozens of witnesses down the street that you assaulted a civilian and refused to pay for your drinks. I'm sorry, but you'll have to come downtown with me," he said, trying to refrain from allowing his voice to shake.

"Sorry, but I have plans tonight," I lied.

He shook his head, gesturing to the canister on his belt, "Avatar Aang, I won't hesitate to bring you in by force if I must."

I snorted in a mocking way, "That wouldn't be a very good idea," I warned him.

He turned to the canister and attempted to launch one of the metal wires towards me. This is when his whole firm attitude began to die on him. His hands began shaking like an earthquake, and all I could hear was the sound of metal slapping against metal as he tried to extend the wires rolled up inside. I practically waited for him to succeed in extending them for at least a whole minute before I simply turned away from him, laughing as I continued to stroll down the street.

I wasn't able to take even four steps before I sensed an attack approaching. The sound of metal scraping against metal made me alert. A single metallic wire shot out of the canister attached to the officer's belt. I quickly spun around, dodging the wire by just an inch as I shot a hand forward, sending a blast of air at the officer that knocked him off his feet.

"I told you that it wouldn't be a good idea…" I mocked him as I laughed arrogantly. I began to turn around when one of the wires wrapped around my left wrist. I shot an angry look at the officer as he proceeded to whip out another wire. I wouldn't let him take me that easily. I fired a small flame at his hands, which made him move them away from the canister to prevent them from being burned. I pulled at the wire wrapped around my wrist, trying to throw him off his feet so that the grip would loosen enough that I could slip free. But he had strength—I'll give him that. I pulled and pulled, but he didn't let up. I proceeded to launch another ball of fire before I heard an additional set of voices.

"What's going on over there!" one of them shouted.

"Arrest him," the officer I was struggling with told them.

I shot a look at them. I extended my right hand at them, curling my fingers and swiping my hand across them. The movements created a trail of broken, shattered earth directly in front of them. Before they even had the chance to take note of it, they had already tripped over it and fallen flat on their faces. I then proceeded to launch a ball of fire at the officer in front of me. But using his free hand, he pulled up a wall of earth in front of him, blocking the flame and dispersing it instantly.

Immediately after that, I felt wires wrap around my torso, suspending my arms to my sides. Directly after that, a set of wires wrapped around the lower portion of my legs, pulling them against one another and causing me to lose balance and fall flat on my face. My head turned to the side as it made contact with the pavement. I hit the ground with a soft grunt, opening my eyes to show a raging flame in them.

"You okay?" one of the supporting officers asked the one that had approached me.

"Yeah, fine. Thanks for the backup."

"Do we have an ID on this guy?" the other supporting officer asked.

"Yes; his name is Aang—Avatar Aang."

I heard them both gasp as I struggled to break free of the wires. I mentally cursed Toph for not teaching me how to bend metal, but then I cursed myself for not taking the chance when I had it.

"Are you positive?" the first supporting officer asked.

"If the attire doesn't prove it, it would have to be the fact that he used both air and earthbending against me…" he began, "plus, he has the notable tattoos on his hands and forehead."

"Never in all my years would I have ever imagined having someone like Avatar Aang in custody…" said the second officer in disgrace. "Wait, are those smokes?"

I managed to move my head enough to see the pack of cigarettes that had fallen out of my robes sometime during the struggle lying on the ground just a couple inches away from me.

The responding officer bent down and picked them from off the ground. I immediately became worried, with beads of sweat forming the edge of my hairline. The joint was still hidden inside, and if they so much as opened the package, they'd have to be complete idiots to not notice it. I continued to try and struggle out of the wires' tight grip, but it was futile. I was forced to give in and remain helpless. I watched from the corner of my eye as the man flipped open the package.

He shook his head disgracefully, "Now I'm really disappointed in you, Avatar Aang…"

I rolled my eyes, cursing myself with every word in the book.

"What? What'd you find?" one of the officers asked.

He removed the rolled-up drug from the package. "Marijuana," he answered simply, holding it in his fingers for showcasing.

The first officer sighed, "Well, we better get him down to headquarters. I'm sure Chief Beifong would like a word with him."

I groaned loudly. _Just kill me now…_

* * *

It was a half-hour until midnight, and the main lobby was mostly empty, with only a couple clerks at their desks doing paperwork. Most of the officers were off duty, spending time with their families at home. There were only a number of officers on duty who took hold of the night shift, and most of them were out patrolling at the moment, with only a couple waiting to respond as a backup.

The night had been quiet so far. Barely any arrests had been made in the last five hours. The most that had ever come through that door tonight were a couple of petty criminals busted for breaking-and-entering. That is… until I arrived in one of their police carriages with my hands resting in my lap. After they had read me my rights and placed me in one of their wagons, they removed the wires from my arms and legs, and replaced them with handcuffs to keep my hands from doing anything irrational, while the second responding officer kept an eye on me with his hands placed close to his canister of metallic wires, ready to launch them at any moment if I made any sudden moves. The box I was being held in was like a small cell. It was made completely of metal, with windows on each side of the room, blocked by steel bars. The only way out of it was the same way in, and only a metalbender could open the door by bending a series of miniature locks concealed inside the door.

We drove for about twenty or so minutes before we came to a stop in front of the police headquarters. I heard the two officers riding in front get out while the guard and I were left alone. The entire ride I had been staring at the floor, but I knew with the utmost certainty that the man sitting directly across from me was eying me with scorn. Could I blame him? I mean, seriously? I was the Avatar, and co-founder of this city, not only that, I prevented an entire country from being destroyed and helped prevent another outbreak of war, and now here I was, arrested for a number of offenses that no one could have anticipated I would commit.

Inside, the two officers found Toph roaming the lobby, just waiting for someone to get busted so she could interrogate them and put them behind bars—if only for a short while until a trial began.

"Well, Akio... Looks like you actually made an arrest for once," said Toph teasingly.

"Yes, we did. I was first on the report and Officer Chan and his partner assisted me when the situation got out of hand."

Toph nodded in approval, "So it sounds like the offenses are assault on an officer and evading arrest, right?"

The officer known of Akio nodded, "His first offense began with an assault on an innocent civilian at a local bar and damaged the property in the process, as well as leaving in a form of robbery by not paying his bill. After assaulting me, Officer Chan and his partner, he tried to evade arrest. After subduing him, we discovered marijuana concealed inside a pack of cigarettes."

Toph seemed impressed by the officers' work. "Well done; not bad for a bunch of rookies such as yourselves. So, have you yet to identify this man?"

"Yes... we have," answered Akio, becoming a bit nervous.

"Well, then, give me his name so I can put it on his record."

"You, uh, might want to reconsider that." It was Officer Chan who had spoken this time.

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Just trust me on this one..."

Toph scoffed, "With offenses like these, I'd love to know the name of this sorry sap," she began amusingly before quickly demanding, "So out with it!"

The two officers exchanged glances and Akio sighed nervously. "The culprit's name is... well, it's Avatar Aang," he blurted out quickly, unable to deliver the news slowly.

Toph was practically holding in that old belly laugh of hers when she heard my name come out of his mouth. It took her a moment to pull herself together and retake control of her serious attitude.

"You got to be joking, right? Avatar Aang hasn't even set foot in this city for the last five years. I know him personally, and I can assure you that he'd never commit these types of crimes, or any for that matter."

"We're not joking, chief. It is really him; the tattoos prove it, not to mention his attire."

Toph became questionably silent after that. Her eyes stared up at the ceiling—not that it even made a difference. She remained like that for a while before taking in a deep breath and sighing in an almost annoying way.

"Bring him in and take him to the interrogation room immediately; don't take the time to book him or file a report. I want to have a couple of words with him first..."

The two officers bowed respectively to her, "Yes, Ma'am," they said in unison before heading back out to the police carriage I was being held in. They opened the door and ordered me to disembark the carriage. The guard keeping an eye on me followed closely behind as I leaped down out of the miniature cell and onto the ground. The two officers gripped my arms tightly as they "escorted" me into their headquarters.

They escorted me down a narrow hallway. The walls were all blank—no pictures, no plaques, no nothing. It was just a narrow hallway that was like a one-way trip to Toph's world of harsh words and scorning. I have to say that I wasn't looking any more forward to seeing her than I was anybody else from my past. In fact, she would be last in line if I had to form one out of all the people I didn't want to see. Sokka would be right in front of her.

Toph always said she would recognize my "twinkle-toes" anywhere. Well, I guess she still did. When we entered the lobby heading for the interrogation room, she turned in my direction, looking straight at me even though she was blind.

My pace slowed down almost to a halt before the officers shoved me forward and ordered that I continued at the same pace.

The interrogation room was basically a large metal box. The only way to get in or out was to use metalbending. An opening about the size of a doorway slid to the side and into the wall in response to one of the officer's movements. They walked—or rather, pushed—me into the room. There was nothing inside but a steel table and two chairs facing each other, and a single lamp concealed in the ceiling that illuminated the room. There were cuffs attached to the table to keep criminals from doing anything harming to the interrogator and any other person accompanying them in the room. After linking the cuffs together, they removed the other set of handcuffs and took a couple of steps back, placing their hands behind their backs.

The wall slid open and immediately closed after Toph stepped in. She directed her attention to the three officers.

"Give us some time alone, you three," she ordered in a respectful manner.

It amazed me how much her attitude had changed in the years since I met her.

She maintained a friendly smile as she sat down across from me. "Nice to see you back in town, Aang. Too bad we couldn't meet on better circumstances..."

"Are you kidding?" I began sarcastically, "I did all of this just so I could see you!"

I frown formed on her face. "So, I heard you were arrested for assault, robbery, damaging property, assaulting an officer, resisting arrest, and possession of marijuana..."

"I wasn't planning on lighting it!" I barked defensively.

"That doesn't matter, Aang. Possession of any illegal drug, whether with the intention of use or not, is punishable by law."

"I remember a time when all you cared about were breaking rules..." I retorted wryly.

"Look, let's just cut to the chase," she began. "I just have one question: What in the hell is the matter with you!" she cried out as she suddenly stood up from her seat, planting her hands hard against the table.

I tilted my head to the side in amusement. I was still a bit intoxicated, though, so it wasn't like it wasn't expected.

Suddenly, a peephole was revealed by the sliding of a metal place as one of the officers peered in.

"Chief, Councilman Sokka is here."

Toph kept her eyes fixated on me, "I'll be out there in a minute..." she responded. The peephole was concealed once again.

"Hm... Looks like Sokka's here to bail me out," I said with a crooked smile.

Toph snorted in doubt, "Just because we're friends, don't think you are going to get off so easily—even if you are the Avatar."

She spun around and exited through the sliding metal plates. Sokka was sitting in the lobby on one of the benches, a sense of tiredness in his eyes. He had received word of the arrest from many of the patrons at the bar I had been at. It was the first place he looked for me since that was where he found me the previous night. When he saw Toph approaching him, he immediately stood up and proceeded to meet her halfway.

"So what did he do?" he asked with an annoyed tone.

"What, no friendly greeting?"

"Toph, right now, I'm not exactly in a friendly mood. Just tell me..."

She sighed, "He's being held for assaulting a civilian and three officers, robbery, property damage, resisting arrest, and possession of marijuana..."

A flame of anger sparked in Sokka's eyes as he breathed inwards out of aggravation. But it didn't last long as he began to think of the consequences of my actions. He exhaled all the anger in a sigh, "He'll have to spend about two years behind bars with offenses like those..."

The chief shrugged, "Sokka, I'm not worried about the offenses—I can take care of those. It's Aang that's worrying me," she sympathetically said. "This is nothing like him... The smoking, the drinking, and now the acquiring of drugs? What could be going through his head?"

Sokka sent her a disgusted look as if the answer was obvious. "What happened five years ago is what!"

"But he's dealt with death before, hasn't he? Finding out his entire race had been killed didn't spark this kind of behavior," she stated.

"But he didn't have to watch it happen. He watched Katara die... and so did I; not to mention Suki and my father. But you were nowhere to be found! We couldn't even notify you of what happened until a day later because you were just trying to stay as busy as possible."

Toph placed her hands on her hips, "How was I supposed to know she was going to come a month early! It's not my fault I wasn't there!"

Sokka rubbed his eyes and sighed regrettably, "I know... I'm sorry I keep bringing that up. I just—I get a bit out of hand when that subject comes around."

"I know," said the earthbender, placing a comforting hand on Sokka's shoulder. "So what are we going to do about Aang?"

The councilman took a few moments to think it through. "You think you can get the charges dropped?"

She shrugged, "I probably can, but considering that there were a total of four physical assaults, it won't be easy to convince the victim and my officers otherwise. Not to mention what kind of message that could send. The public wouldn't be too keen towards the idea of letting Aang roam free just because he's the Avatar."

Sokka knew she was right. "What if we could find another sentence?"

The earthbender grasped her chin in thought, "We could put him under house arrest? If we do that, we could try and force him into changing his ways."

He shook his head in the negative, "We both know Aang doesn't respond well to force. With the state he is in now, he'd do anything to get out of it. I doubt he'd think twice about running away again and going into hiding."

"Well, what do you think we should do?"

He made a contemplative hum. "Perhaps we should put him under house arrest. Kya's birthday is coming up... If I can convince Aang to go, then maybe once he sees Kya, it will make him change his ways."

The chief formed a doubtful frown on her face, "You don't really think will work, do you?"

"It's worth a shot," he shrugged hopefully.

She sighed deeply, "Alright, we'll go with your idea. But if it doesn't work, we'll do it my way," she finished sternly.

"Which is...?"

A smirk appeared on her face, "You'll see..."

* * *


	5. A Separated Family

* * *

**Chapter 5:  
** **A Separated Family**

Almost three weeks had passed since I was put under house arrest. I might as well have been behind bars. Metalbending police officers guarded the island, and the chefs made some type of strange tea with a special herb in it that weakened my ability the bend. The most I could do was create a soft breeze… There was no way I would be able to swim off the island because patrol boats surrounded it non-stop. I was confined to only go as far as the courtyard. It irritated me… I was going insane without any alcohol, and I could almost swear that I had started to hear voices.

At first, they were like whispers, but gradually became screams. I could make out that they belonged to a female, and it seemed like she was screaming my name. It only made it all even worse. The dreams had become more frequent. I had started having at least two a night, sometimes three. It was becoming worse and worse with each passing night, and I was on the brink of insanity… literally.

On top of that, I could have sworn I had started hearing things. Every night, usually around the time I went to bed, I could hear someone's voice—a woman's—screaming my name. When it first began, it was only quiet whispers, but as the days passed, it grew louder and louder until it had become screams. I could hardly make any of them out. I knew that whatever they were screaming contained only one syllable, and I knew I had heard the voice somewhere before. But it was distorted, sometimes garbled. I wanted it to stop, but no matter what I did, the only thing that stopped them was sleep. But I couldn't sleep all day… From the time I woke up until I went back to sleep the voice would shout. No one else could hear it, and certainly, Sokka was noticing that I was going insane. I'm pretty sure I heard him talking about putting me in a mental institute if this continued any longer, and in a way, I wasn't against it. Maybe I was going insane. Maybe all the alcohol had done in the past is keep me mentally stable. However, that only made my desire for alcohol rise.

Sokka forced me to shave my head back to its bald nature, and since the first hours of my home captivity, I was forced to wear Air Nomad attire. I was expected to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the Dining Hall with the other Acolytes, to meditate at least an hour a day (surprisingly that was Sokka's demand, even though he had once said that he never understood the whole purpose of it). It was all meant to reinforce my old Air Nomadic beliefs and virtues, and I have to admit, the meditation did help to keep the voices away.

I exited the washroom, my head shining its baldness.

"Ready to go?" asked Sokka, waiting for me just outside the door.

"Not really…" I answered flatly.

Sokka frowned, "Tough luck then. Let's go," he started for the courtyard. "I told Suki we'd be there by five."

Today was Kya's fifth birthday, and I'd been in a rather sulky mood today. This wasn't a day that I felt like leaving my room, or bed for that matter—much less the comfort of my own home. In the past, when this day came around, my spirit practically left my body. I did nothing, I said nothing, and I didn't even acknowledge that I was still breathing. Some days I'd just lie in bed, staring at the wall for hours and hours with no sense of time. Some days I'd stock up on alcohol the night before and drink myself into a mini-coma that I wished would just last forever. Maybe then I wouldn't have to feel all this pain. Maybe then I could enter one of my dreams, and unknowingly live it until my body finally shut down for good. Unfortunately, I was never given that opportunity…

We started for the docks where a ferry was waiting for us. Hundreds of thousands of snowflakes fell down onto the city. The water was as cold as ice. The roads were covered by a white substance, and piles of snow rested on top of almost every surface.

Sokka tried to convince me to fly Appa to his home, but I didn't give in, because something told me that Appa wouldn't have been happy about that decision either. I could tell by the look he had had in his eyes a few weeks before. We boarded the ferry and proceeded towards the mainland. Sokka had a carriage waiting for us just across the street. We got inside and headed downtown. Sokka owned the penthouse floor of a hotel. Somewhere deep inside me, I didn't agree with the idea of having a five-year-old living at the top of an eleven-story building. I tried to ignore it, though. She wasn't my problem—but theirs. Still… I couldn't help but feel worried that Kya could climb her way onto the balcony edge and slip in an instant. It could happen in just a few short moments. Suki or Sokka could turn away from her for a moment to answer the door and she could already be descending to instant death.

Why was I thinking of this?! It was just making things worse! It was a worry that was causing me to sweat, and Sokka noticed this.

"You nervous?" he asked me.

"Nervous about the idea of having a five-year-old in a penthouse eleven stories up…" I muttered under my breath.

"Say again?"

He hadn't heard me.

I turned to him, "Nothing… I'm fine."

Sokka rolled his eyes, "If you say so."

The carriage came to a stop in front of the hotel and two bellhops proceeded to open our doors for us. Sokka slipped them both a couple yuans and we proceeded inside. The hotel was certainly classy. Nothing too extravagant, but it was definitely not cheap. The walls were painted white, and in the center of the lobby, there were three reddish-orange cushioned chairs surrounding a coffee table. A little away from that was an octagon of various colors painted onto the floor with a round table holding a vase with flowers in it. Beyond that was the front desk where the manager was reading a book. Sokka and I proceeded towards the elevators, where an earthbender awaited us. We walked inside a metal rectangular room, with a layer of stone surrounding it. Sokka informed the earthbender on the floor we were ascending to and closed the metal gates. The earthbender sent us up; throwing his fists up in the air that forced the elevator to ascend to the proper height.

We were met with a short narrow hallway that contained only one door. Next to it, attached to the wall, was a letterbox, a small rectangular box with a narrow slot in the middle, with Sokka's name written on a card propped inside a frame. Sokka flipped open the flap and pulled out a number of envelopes. Some had the words "Happy Birthday" written on them, and Sokka made sure that I noticed that.

He slid open the door to the large apartment. "Suki, I'm back!" he called as we entered.

Suki came out of the kitchen wearing an apron over her dress. She immediately looked to me, "Glad you could make it, Aang!"

I shrugged, "Good to be here, I guess…"

_As if I had any choice_ , I thought to myself.

She and Sokka exchanged a kiss, "Where's Kya at?" Sokka asked.

His wife broke eye contact to look down a short, narrow hallway, "She's been in her room ever since she got done eating breakfast," she informed him.

"Why is that?" asked Sokka.

Suki leaned towards Sokka's ear. She tried to speak at a volume I wouldn't hear, but it wasn't low enough. "I told her that Aang was coming over. I thought she deserved to know ahead of time. After she ate breakfast she ran straight to her room. She's been in there since…"

Sokka sighed, "Okay, let me go talk to her."

Sokka started down the hall and Suki invited me further into their home. Their living room consisted of a glass coffee table surrounded by a loveseat and couch. A bookshelf was placed diagonally in the corner. I scanned the walls. There were portraits of Sokka and Suki lining the walls, ranging from when they were teenagers to the age they were now. There were also a couple of Katara and me, but I tried to avoid them. Thankfully the voice had stopped once I left the temple, and I didn't intend on allowing anything to trigger it again. My eyes continued across the walls until they intercepted a fireplace. I didn't think much of it at first until I saw what was placed on the shelf propped above the fire pit. There were two small vases with a bundle of flowers placed in each of them, and placed in between them was a picture of Katara smiling in her wedding dress. Placed in front of the picture were lit incense sticks.

It was there for a reason… This day wasn't just Kya's birthday. But that picture also meant something more. Kya must have known that her mother had passed away. Whether she knew when or how her mother died was a blank to me.

"Would you like some tea, Aang?" Suki suddenly asked, holding a pot.

I nodded, "Yes, please." My throat was dry from being so nervous…

She poured a cup and handed it to me. I sipped it gratefully.

"So how have you been?" she asked.

Sokka had already told me that his wife knew what I was going through. My guess was that she was at a loss for words.

"Fine, I guess…" I answered. I heard Sokka's voice down the hall, and even though I wanted to ignore it, I found myself listening intently.

There was a knock on Kya's bedroom door. "Kya…?" he called her name. "Come on, sweetie; come out now." He knocked on the door again, "Please, Kya? Don't you want to see your daddy?"

My eyes widened at the sound of those two syllables. _Daddy_ , I thought to myself. It was clear to me now that she knew who I was. She hadn't ran to her room because she was shy and that a stranger was coming over, but that today would be the day that she finally saw her father—the man who gave her up to her uncle and aunt. _Maybe s_ _he hates me_ , I thought. I certainly wouldn't blame her…

I heard the sound of the door sliding open, but only slightly. Kya hid behind the door, revealing only enough of herself so she could peek an eye out the door. She seemed sad, possibly even scared.

"What's wrong?" asked Sokka. "Come on, come out of there."

She shook her head in denial.

"Please, sweetie? Your daddy wants to see you. Don't you want to see him?"

She looked off to the side in consideration, and then threw the door open and lunged at her uncle's leg, hiding behind it as she gripped the cloth of his pants.

He smiled, "Alright, close enough…" he said and started down the hallway, his niece following close behind as she covered herself from view.

I saw Sokka come into view. I began sweating intensely. I received the temptation to run away, to jump off the balcony and attempt an escape. But I couldn't find the will to do so; it was like my butt was glued to the seat.

Kya still hid behind Sokka's legs, out of sight. He turned his head towards her, "You don't have to be shy."

His niece gripped the cloth tighter before sliding aside a bit, revealing only a portion of her arm. Sweat was dripping off my arrow now. I was only moments away from seeing my daughter after five whole years. I felt like shouting, or maybe even crying. I felt almost completely guilty for what I had done to her in the past. I thought that maybe I could change that, right here and now. _Maybe…_

Finally, Kya revealed herself. Time froze all around me. I practically stopped breathing; the only indication of my still being alive was the pounding of my heart against my ribs. She… she was so beautiful! More beautiful than any child I had ever seen in my life. She inherited her mother's hair color, which was braided into a short ponytail, and my nose. Her ears were that of her father's. Her skin was tan, like her mother's, but her eyes were silver-gray. She wore a blue dress and brown shoes.

The five-year-old still hid shyly behind her uncle's leg, revealing only half of her whole self. I felt my heart thud against my chest and I realized that time was still in action. I glanced at the picture of Katara and compared it to Kya. They looked so much alike! I felt like crying, but I couldn't. Somehow I wondered how I could have done this to her—completely shut her out of my life. I was now tempted to swoop her up in my arms and run away with her, but something stopped me.

I remembered what had happened five years ago today. I remembered what caused it. My stomach twisted up in my gut. I felt a surge of sadness course through me, a surge of anger, as well. Once again I felt like running away. But I didn't… I stopped myself.

"Kya…" Suki began, crouching beside her niece and sending a glance my way. "…this is your daddy."

She poked her head farther out from behind Sokka's leg, "Daddy?" she called in a soft, shy and scared, gentle voice. I had heard many voices fill in as hers in my dreams, but hearing it now, in the real world… well, I felt like my heart was about to pop out of my chest and launch itself across the room!

I tried to say something—anything. But I was at a loss for words. All I could do was stutter incomprehensible words. I tried to find the skill necessary to speak fluently.

Finally, I just blurted out the first thing that successfully came up my throat. "Hi…"

She smiled softly, and it caused pools of water to flood my eyes. I couldn't figure out why! A part of me was crying over the fact that I abandoned her, but another, more influential part of me was crying over the whole reason _why_ I abandoned her. For the last couple of years, I had told myself that I wasn't capable of raising her all on my own. But now I realized why I really gave her up. I was afraid—afraid of her. I was afraid that raising her would make my whole life become a personal Hell, that every day when I looked at her I'd be reminded that she had been granted life with the sacrifice of her mother's. I had hated her for that… and a part of me still did.

Kya continued to slowly reveal herself and a soft smile grew on her face. _Why is she smiling?_ I asked myself. _Doesn't she understand what I've done?_

All of a sudden, she began running back down the hallway where her room was apparently located. I frowned softly and looked away. I thought she was running away from me—that she believed a smile was all I deserved from her. I couldn't blame her for that, just like I wouldn't blame her for hating me.

But then I heard her frantic footsteps come speeding back into the room. She had an object in her hand, some type of rag doll. She kept the doll firm in her grasp, almost covering it completely as she was holding it against her chest as she ran towards me. She might as well have gone ahead and jumped right in my lap with how she stopped, practically running right into my legs. My arms threw themselves out of her reach, like she had a contagious disease that I wouldn't dare risk catching by touching her. She looked up to me with her sparkling silver eyes, smiling.

She held the doll out to me, "Is this you, Daddy?"

I lost it there. I couldn't restrain myself from crying any longer.

The doll—it was modeled after me, a toy you'd buy at any retail store. It was made from colored cloths and stuffed with fluffy white cotton. Many of its details were off, but the primary aspect of the design was spot on. It had on my old Air Nomad training attire that I had worn before they had become scraps. The head had an oval shape, and it had a childish smile—a couple of threads of yarn stitched at an angle that might as well have been circle cut in half. The eyes were stone-gray buttons, clashing with the color of the cloth resembling my skin tone. The arrow was pretty well put together, though.

I brought me to tears seeing that she actually had a doll modeled after me. Not only was it an amazing relief that didn't appear to hate me, but it also showed me that by not taking responsibility in raising her, and missing out the majority of her life, she had resorted to a cheap rag doll to remind herself who her true father is. I could see it in my head. So many nights she'd lay in her crib or bed, holding that doll tightly with no intention of ever letting it go and smiling in her sleep, knowing that it would keep her safe as a real father would.

As the tears streamed down my face, I managed to make a short, soft chuckle. "Yeah, that's me…"

Her smile widened to where it showed her perfectly white teeth. Kya linked her arms around my waist and I chuckled again as the tears dripped off my chin, placing my hands around her as well. Doing this… I felt like I was hugging her mother. In a way, I was. I was hugging a part of her—a part that she and I had created. Suddenly, the voices stopped. The screaming, the yelling that had been trying to get into my thick skull just ceased, right then and there.

* * *

About two hours had passed and we were finishing up dinner. To my surprise, Sokka had discovered a couple of years ago that Kya was a vegetarian. Her favorite dish was fried rice with a variety of herbs, spices, and some pepper. As we prepared it, I realized that I hadn't said a kind word to my brother-in-law up until that point. My craving for alcohol continued to remain as strong as forever, but for Kya's sake, I resisted it. I had to. It wasn't easy, believe me. It was a complicated and difficult process, but luckily I had a considerable amount of control over it… when I wanted to. That's another thing I realized. I'd become so addicted to alcohol because I wanted to be. I wanted to believe that alcohol was the answer to end the majority of my pain. But all I really needed was something to remind me of all the good things in life.

That something had been Kya…

Kya took her final bites and slid her plate towards the center of the table, as we had all done. Suki began to rise up from her seat but I beat her to it.

"I got the dishes, Suki," I told her. "I can get them."

"But you are our guest, Aang," she argued. "You shouldn't have to clean up in our home."

I sent her a smile, "Believe me, after everything you've done for me, this is not even remotely close to being the least I could do for you two."

I collected the plates and continued into the kitchen. Sokka smiled at his wife and I knew what he was thinking. The plan of his that he had put together had turned out just as well as he had hoped. I hadn't wanted to believe it would but look at me now—happier than I've been in a long time...

I set the dishes in the sink and pumped the lever that flowed water from the faucet and onto the pile of dishes. I was finishing up when Kya linked her arms around my leg.

"Daddy, are you going to stay here tonight?" she asked me, excited as if I had already said yes long before.

I shrugged with a smile, "I'm not the one you should be asking," I began, talking sweetly to her. "That's something you should be asking your aunt and uncle."

Sokka and Suki rose from the cotton-stuffed seats. Kya sped over to them, linking her fingers together in a plea, "Can Daddy stay over Uncle Sokka?"

He looked up at me, smiled, then back down to Kya, "Sure, he can."

Kya hugged him and then her aunt, telling them both that she loved them before grabbing her rag doll from the arm of the couch. She ran into the living room and stopped at the fireplace. I stared at her and cocked a brow. _What is she doing?_ I asked myself.

She tried reaching up to the shelf where her mother's memorial was set up, but her arms were too short and the shelf was too high. I came up behind her and lifted her up. She placed the rag doll on the shelf, directly against the picture frame of her mother. I nearly began to cry when she turned to me.

"Now you and Mommy are together again, Daddy!"

I made a soft chuckle as I tried not to cry. I stroked her cheek, "We sure are, Kya... But your mommy will always be with me—with us both. I bet she's looked down at us right now."

My daughter smiled and rested her head in the spot between my head and shoulder. I stared at the picture. This is what she would have wanted... This right here.

Suddenly a knock came to the door.

"Who could that be?" I asked curiously. I had thought I was the only one coming to this little party.

Sokka rushed to the door, swinging it open and smiling widely in surprise.

"Dad, you actually made it!"

My eyes shot open, my heart began racing as if it was getting ready to pop out my chest, my grip on Kya's shirt tightened like I was about to rip the fabric, my teeth gritted so hard it was like I was trying to bite down on metal.

_What is_ he _doing here?!_

"I'm sorry I got here so late. The snow has really piled up out there. I practically had to dig through the snow to get here," Hakoda explained to his son.

Kya began to wiggle out of my grasp. I set her down and she rushed to her grandfather while I stood there with fire in my eyes. He shouldn't be here—he had no right!

"Gramp-Gramp!" she cried as he scooped her up in his arms.

"How's my little sea prune?!" he asked as he picked her up.

As he stood up, I came into his view. His age was definitely showing. He was about sixty now, maybe a little older. His hair was a silver-gray with a couple of strands of dark-brown hair still showing. He had wrinkles all over his face, some stretching longer than others. His eyes had surprise in them.

"Aang," he began, surprise in his voice, "you're back in town! I didn't even know you had returned."

"What are you doing here?" I demanded in a low, firm voice.

"Visiting my granddaughter for her fifth birthday, what else?"

My eyes narrowed at him, "You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't have come all this way."

"He always does, Aang," Suki pitched in, bringing in a fresh pot of tea from the kitchen. "Hakoda comes every year for her birthday. He hasn't missed one yet."

I looked away from her and back to Hakoda. He had Kya leaning against his shoulder. How dare him! Touching my daughter—the girl whose mother he practically killed! My hands balled up into fists, clenching as tight as possible.

"Yeah, well, he should start now."

Sokka sent me a disgusted look, "What are you saying, Aang? He just came for his granddaughter's birthday!"

"I don't care!" I snapped. "He doesn't deserve to be here! He killed Katara!" I shout angrily.

Kya had fear in her eyes after I said that. Not at Hakoda, though; at me. Tears welled up in her eyes from it. She said only a single word, "Mommy...?"

"Aang, what's gotten into you?" Hakoda demanded, stepping into the room. He set Kya down and she grasped the pants of his leg. "I never did anything of the sorts, and you shouldn't be saying such things in front of Kya!"

"Maybe you didn't kill her physically, but you're the cause of her death!" I continued to shout, raising my voice higher.

Suki began to approach me, holding her hands up in a 'calm down' manner. "Aang, I think you're just confused—"

"—Confused?" I cut her off. "I know what happened that night!" I yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the chief, "He tricked us all—no, he betrayed us!"

"I honestly have no idea what you are talking about, Aang! Please, just calm down!" he insisted as Kya hid farther behind his legs. "Now, let's just talk about this for a minute. I think your emotions may just be judging your thinking a little,' he explained, glancing at the small memorial set behind me.

That only angered me more. "Nothing is judging my thinking, Hakoda. I know what you did and so do you; you just can't admit it!"

Kya poked her head out from her hiding place, "Daddy…"

I turned to Kya and saw tears flowing down her cheeks. I had never seen her cry before, not since the night she was born. For some strange, unjustifiable reason, I blamed Hakoda for her tears… even though, deep down, I knew they were caused by my anger and aggression. At the time I didn't accept that, though.

"Now look what you've done!" I shouted. "You've got her crying now!" I continued with scorn.

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I jerked my head to see Sokka, staring with disappointment and shame in his eyes. "I think you should leave, Aang…"

I glanced back at Hakoda with a dark sparkle glistening in my pupils. I glanced back at Sokka.

"Maybe you're right…" I began. I shook my head and proceeded for the door. "I knew it would be a mistake coming here," I finished as I slammed the door behind me.

I left them with a sinking feeling in their stomachs—that feeling you get when someone you love has become very angry and you can't help but feel it's your fault. It's a hard feeling to describe. All of a sudden you feel the need to hide or do something that will help that person, without confronting them in any way. You can't help but stare at the floor or a wall, or anything that isn't alive. You're at a sudden loss for words, you become extremely quiet. And when you can talk, your voice is too soft for anyone to even understand you. That's how I left them feeling… That's what I felt leaving.

Hakoda was the first to regain his will to speak. He curved around the couch to where Kya was sitting curled up, holding her legs against her chest while her chin rested on her knees, streams of water coursing down her cheeks. "Kya, sweetie—"

She suddenly stood up and ran past them all and into her room, closing the door immediately behind her as hard as her small arms could. It was no doubt that she had gone to weep.

Sokka's eyes closed and he took a breath. "It was working— I mean, I thought that maybe he finally changed. I was sure that—" He sighed, "I don't know…" he tripped over his own words.

Suki laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, but it didn't help any. "I'm going to go talk to her."

"And say what?" asked her husband. "She knows what happened. Dad showed up and hers got angry. Neither of us understands it, so we shouldn't try and make her."

Her eyes drifted, "I suppose you are right."

"He is," Hakoda spoke up. "I can't understand it either. I can't even begin to fathom where these accusations may have come from."

"He said something about you betraying us…" Suki began. "Any idea what that might mean?"

Her father-in-law looked away, "I've barely spoken to Aang since the funeral; actually that's the last time we spoke when I gave him her necklace." The chief glanced at the memorial made for his daughter, but only for a brief moment.

"Maybe it had more to do with something you said that night," she suggested.

"Yeah," Sokka added, "Didn't you pull Aang off to the side when she went into labor?"

He made a contemplative hum. "Maybe I should go talk to him…"

"You sure that's such a good idea?" asked Sokka.

Hakoda turned away from them and directed himself towards the door, "Only one way to find out…"

* * *

I sat on a windowsill near the top of the base of the temple, my back leaning against the frame with my legs outstretched as far as space would allow, with a bottle of tequila being chugged down my throat. The sun had been dominated by the full moon. The sky was pitch black, a thick layer of clouds stretching across the city. I could still, but only barely, see the moon's illuminating glow behind the layer of air and water. I was practically in a trance as I stared at the orb of light. I needed something to distract me.

The voice… It had returned only moments after I stormed out of Sokka's home. But it was much stronger this time, much louder. It wasn't as distorted as before, but I still couldn't make it out. I didn't want to anyway. I needed something to block it out again. That's what the tequila was for. So far it was working…

I saw the ferry arrive at the docks, returning from the city. My eyes narrowed. I had had enough of Sokka for a while. I had had enough of it all. I remembered that, long ago, when some of the monks achieved spiritual enlightenment, they would leave their respective temples and go someplace far away and live in solitude until the day they died. I had always thought that they were going a little too far. But now, it didn't seem like a bad idea. I could go someplace, without anyone knowing where, and live the rest of my days alone, with no one to tell me how to run my life. _Yeah. I might just do that,_ I once said to myself.

Eventually, the visitor revealed himself not as Sokka, but as his father.

I tilted my head back and chugged more of the alcohol. _What's he want?_ I asked myself as the liquid slid down my throat.

The chief made his way up the stairs and to the courtyard. His eyes roamed the area. I could tell that a nostalgic feeling had struck him, especially when he looked toward the path that led to mine and Katara's former dormitory.

A part of me was hoping he'd turn back around and head back, finding this visit completely pointless.

Unfortunately, I wasn't granted that satisfaction.

An Acolyte approached him and they engaged in a short conversation that led to my location being revealed to the chief. He looked up and saw me seated on the windowsill with a bottle of tequila. He bowed respectively to the Acolyte and proceeded to enter the temple. Minutes later I heard his footsteps approaching. I didn't bother removing my eyes from the sky. As far as I was concerned, the moon was more important than his presence.

"That's not a healthy habit, you know."

"I don't remember asking for your opinion."

"I suppose not…"

I chugged more of the alcohol. "You come just to inform me of my health risks or do you actually have something to say?"

He took a deep breath and starting pacing a bit. I presumed he was trying to put his thoughts into words.

"Why, Aang?"

"You're going to have to be a little more specific," I said.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I thought the answer was obvious?"

"That stuff's going to kill you; you know that, right?"

"Let it. Not like I haven't tried to do so myself…"

"Is that what you really want from life, though?" he asked in concern.

I tilted the bottle as I thought out my answer, still looking out at the sky. "You know something? I don't know what I want anymore. Right now all I want is for you to leave."

Hakoda took in a breath, "I've thought about it over and over again on my way over here, but I still can't figure it out… Why do you have this sudden hatred of me?"

For the first time, I looked to him, "Think back, five years ago today, at just about this time of night, Katara went into labor, but before you even let me stand by her side during all that pain, you said something to me. Don't you remember what you said?"

The chief broke eye contact as he thought back. I was surprised it took some actual thought. I remembered his words clearly, word for word even.

"You told me about what happened to Kya when she gave birth to Sokka. You told me that she opened her eyes again and that Katara—my wife!—would do the same," I eventually answered for him. "You told me to hold on to the hope that she would! And look at what happened!" I raised my voice, smashing the bottle against the wall as I got up. He flinched a bit as the shattered glass spread with the alcohol across the floor.

My eyes, narrowed, were darting at him with hatred.

"Aang, you can't logically blame me for that! I had no way of knowing—"

"She told me before she died! She already knew what happened with her mother! She said you told her before! She knew that she was going to be weak, that she'd lose consciousness! That's why she didn't fight it! She knew she was going to die, all because of what you said!"

As I shouted these words of hate and anger, I remembered when she spoke those words...

_Thankfully, Katara's eyes opened once again and she stared into mine. "I...love you, Aang. Please...take care of Kya." Her eyes then drifted closed once again._

_That hope that I had gripped firmly then began to slip away as her words struck my heart. "Katara...no, don't say that. You're gonna be fine. We'll raise her together, as a family, just like we wanted! She'll have parents who will love and support her forever, right, Katara?" I managed to say, the words clawing my throat as they exited the mouth. I brought Katara's hand that I had been holding and brought it to Kya's cheek. "Do you feel that, Katara?" I asked her. "It's Kya's cheek! Come on! Don't you feel it?"_

" _Please..." she managed to say, her voice too soft to be heard by anyone else. Her eyes were still closed, but... she was alive! Thank God, she was alive! "...come closer."_

_I didn't argue with her request. I leaned in closer, "I'm here, Katara. Please, you have to stay with us! You have to see our baby!" I pleaded._

_Her head shook ever so slightly, "This is how it's supposed to be. Dad told me...I'd be weak. He told me about my Mom," her voice was almost too soft for me to hear, her lips barely moving. But I didn't care. I could still hear her voice. That's all that mattered. "I can see her. I can see Mom again..." A tear dripped down her face as she managed to turn her head in my direction. She opened her eyes slightly and a soft smile rose from the surface. "This is how it is supposed to be..." Her eyelids began to slide downward. She had to be blinking! She had to be! She couldn't leave like that! She shouldn't be convinced this is how it should be!_

_Finally... her eyelids closed, and her head fell with that smile still on her face._

_Then, without any warning, her arm dropped to her side. At that very moment, the hope I tried so hard to hold onto, vanished forever._

"I thought she had the right to know!" Hakoda argued. "She deserved to know the risks she'd be taking—I told her all that not long after we found out she was pregnant."

"And you didn't tell me until that night?!" I shouted angrily. "What about my right to know, huh?! She was pregnant with _my_ child!"

"Trust me, Aang, the way you've been acting these last few years, I don't think you even deserve to be Kya's biological father. You've abandoned her, left her to believe she doesn't have a mother _or_ a father!"

"Because of you!"

"All that alcohol really is screwing with your brain cells, isn't it? What I said wasn't meant for her to accept death—"

"But it sure did convince her to do as such!"

Hakoda growled irritatedly, then took a breath. "Look, we both know we can't forget what happened in the past, but you have to move on! When I saw her in your arms, she'd never looked happier... But you've let your need to blame another and poison yourself overcome your true emotions."

"Get out..." I ordered as I turned away from him. "Get out of my house, get off _my_ island, and get out of my city!"

Hakoda shook his head in disappointment, "You may have helped found this city, but you don't have the authority to exile me from it."

I spun around, my fist creating a trail of fire, "I SAID GET OUT! I don't ever want to see you again! I want you out of my life! I want you out of Kya's life! Hell, I wouldn't care if you dropped dead by tomorrow!"

He left with a look a shame on his face, but also great sadness. The last time I had seen him so sad was... you get the point. I sat back on the windowsill and waited for him to leave. Minutes later, I saw him walking through the courtyard. He made it halfway when he suddenly stopped in his tracks. He bent his back downwards like he was in pain or something. He stood there, bent over, for a couple of seconds before he collapsed into the snow, face down. My eyes widened and I suddenly found myself jumping from the window.

"Hakoda!" I yelled his name as I softened my fall with airbending. I sprinted towards him. Why had I suddenly cared for his well-being? Why was my heart about to leap out of my chest? I wanted him to leave. I didn't ever want to see him again. But now I was on my knees on the ground, yelling his name as I turned him over. His eyes were close, hand clutching his chest where his heart was buried. He wasn't breathing! He was having a heart attack!

"Someone! Someone get help!" I shouted desperately. "Hakoda, come on!" I shouted, but he was unresponsive. I had to take matters into my own hands. Using a thin slice of air, I quickly ripped open his shirt and started CPR. I started pumping his chest. He still wouldn't respond. "Come on, Hakoda! Please, breathe, goddammit!" I demanded desperately. I pinched his nose and proceeded to do mouth-to-mouth, manually sending air into his body. I then continued pumping his chest. My attempts seemed futile, but I couldn't give up. No, I _wouldn't_ give up! "I didn't mean what I said, Hakoda!" I told him as my eyes began to flood. "Katara already died on me, don't you do it too! You hear me? DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!"

* * *


	6. Losing Myself

* * *

**Chapter 6:  
** **Losing Myself**

_I stood at the edge of a cliff, staring out at a seemingly endless ocean. I was twelve years old again, wearing my traditional Air Nomad training attire. It was late at night, a few clouds floating in the sky below the bright curving moon. My entire face was blank. It didn't even appear that I was staring at the ocean. It was more like I was looking past it—or rather, through it._

_I must have been out there for at least an hour, maybe a quarter past. I had no real reason for being out here. I just wanted to get away and be by myself._

_Soon enough I heard footsteps approaching from behind me. They were light, careful. Their owner was approaching with care. I knew who it was before they even spoke._

" _You know, it's okay to miss Appa."_

_I remained silent, not moving a muscle to show any indication that I had anything to respond with._

" _What's going on with you?" she asked with concern. "In the desert, all you cared about was finding Appa and now it's like you don't care about him at all."_

_My eyes drifted closed as I remembered my past actions, "You saw what I did out there. I was so angry about losing Appa that I couldn't control myself." My face tightened up as I felt angry with myself, "I hated feeling like that." My eyes drifted shut again._

" _But now you're not letting yourself feel anything," she told me, the concern in her voice rising. "I know sometimes it hurts more to hope and it hurts more to care. But you have to promise me that you won't stop caring." She held out her arms, "Come on, you need a hug."_

_I can't remember ever denying a hug from her up to that point. I simply turned to her and bowed respectfully. "Thank you for your concern, Katara." I turned and walked down the cliff, leaving her behind. I didn't have to look back to figure out what kind of state I left her in—hurt, worried, and unneeded._

_Suddenly I heard my name being called. "Aang!" I turned in response, but there was no one there. She… she was there, just a minute ago! Wait, the ledge was broken! I heard my name called again, this time it sounded more desperate. I raced towards its source. When I reached her, I could see her fingers clinging to the side. The ledge had somehow given way and she must have slipped! Her fingers began slipping. I dived forward, catching her wrist in both my hands just as she lost her grip. She let out a terrified gasp as she was almost lost to the crashing waves below._

" _I got you!" I cried out to her. I saw the look in her eyes—terrified beyond belief. Her hand was sweaty from the fright, slipping out of my grasp. I tightened my grip. I knew that my added strength was hurting her, but I couldn't let her go, even if it meant breaking her wrist. It was better than losing her._

_I strained as I struggled to pull her back to safety. "Aang!" she screamed my name as I made no progress._

_My eyes clenched closed, my teeth grinding. I was pulling muscles in my arms as I tried harder to save her._

_Suddenly I heard crying. But it wasn't hers, and it certainly wasn't mine. It was a child's, a newborn's even! Suddenly my eyes opened in surprise and they followed the sounds of the cries. They directed me towards space where the moon had just been. It wasn't there anymore. Instead… it had been replaced by the image of the newborn crying. Immediately, I recognized the baby. It… it was Kya! Her cries were just the same as the night she was born. I stared in shock and awe. I didn't even notice that, until she called out my name again, Katara was slipping out of my grasp._

_I couldn't keep my eyes off Kya. I found myself becoming oblivious to the fact that she was still slipping from out of my grasp. It was like some imaginary force was compelling me to become distracted by the sight of my daughter._

_I was brought out of my trance when I felt a sharp, stinging pain build up in my wrist. I turned to her, noticing that as she was slipping, she was accidentally lodging her nails into my skin, scratching away the surface of my sleeve and skin._

_Eventually, our sweaty palms replaced the friction and we began sliding out of each other's grasp. I contemplated whether or not I should try to build a platform of the earth beneath her. I was still in training, though. If I tried, I might fail and the movement could cause our grips to cease and have her falling into the water below, but not before breaking multiple bones on the many rocks that rose a couple of feet above the waterline._

_Kya's wailing cries grew louder, and on impulse, I redirected my attention towards her. Then without explanation, she was gone. I was left with a dumbfounded expression and complete confusion. I thought that maybe it was all my imagination until I heard two sets of desperate cries. I jerked my head towards them and saw that I now had both Katara and Kya in my grasp, struggling to pull both of them back to safety._

_She was no longer a newborn. She had been reverted to her five-year-old state. She had both of her small palms wrapped around my wrist as I gripped hers. Katara was still slipping, though! Before I knew it, our hands had become like hooks, our curled fingers now being the only hope of saving her from instant death._

_I transferred the majority of my strength into my left arm, not even aware that by doing so, my grip on Kya loosened and she was now clinging to the fabric at the edge of my wrist._

" _Aang," Katara called my name in desperation, "save Kya! Forget about me!" she urged._

_No, there was no way I could do that. "I already lost you once. I'm not going to let you slip away from me again!" I told her firmly._

" _Daddy!" Kya screamed in sheer terror as the fabric began to rip._

" _Aang, save Kya!" Katara screamed to me, her voice firm with absolute demand._

_I found my eyes crisscrossing between the two women whose lives were literally mine to hold onto. I found myself trying to make the ultimate decision. The fabric was moments away from breaking off from the rest of the outfit, taking Kya with it to immediate death. If I was to save her, there would be no doubt Katara's life would be taken. But… if I saved Katara, not only would we lose our only child, but she'd hate me forever for allowing our daughter to die. But... if I saved Kya, she'd hate me forever for allowing her mother to die. I had to choose. It was either save our only daughter or save the love of my life._

_I couldn't make a decision. No matter what, I'd lose the two most important people in my life. It was all about whose life I believed deserved to last longer._

_I took too long to choose… The cloth ripped and separated from the rest of my torso and Kya began to fall. Impulse took over and I took my grip from Katara's arm and attempted to take hold of Kya's hand. But I was already too late. By the time I let go of her mother, Kya had already fallen out of my reach. When I tried to grab hold of Katara again, she too had fallen out of my reach. I was too stunned at the image to move any muscle in my body. I could only lie there and watch as they both fell to instant death._

_I could have saved one of them… I should have saved one of them…_

* * *

I was woken up by violent shaking, followed by the desperate calling of my name several times. I hadn't even remembered falling asleep, much less sitting down. I'd been pacing back and forth across the hallway. I don't know for how long, but the next thing I knew was that I was being shaken awake.

"Aang, wake up!" the voice demanded. My vision readjusted and I found my brother-in-law hovering above me.

I shoved his hands off of me, "I'm awake, alright!" I said with grumpiness from my sudden awakening.

"What happened?!" he demanded as I rubbed my eyes. "What happened to my dad?!"

I was immediately reminded of the events that took place only an hour or so ago. For a moment, it seemed like he was just coughing or something. Next thing I knew, he was lying face-down in the snow, no longer breathing. I had started CPR, what I knew of it at least. All the monks were taught it at some point in their lives. We had the ability to control air, and though it was barely useful during most medical emergencies, CPR and airbending seemed to fit like a glove. I did everything I could, but I couldn't get his blood pumping again…

"He-he had a heart attack," I answered. "Didn't they tell you anything?" I asked out of confusion. Surely whoever alerted Sokka that his father was in the hospital could have at least given him the basics of the incident.

"No, all they said was that he was here," he explained. "Is he alive?!" he asked desperately.

I sent a look to him, of concern and surprise. They… didn't tell him?

"Sokka…"

"Is…he…alive?!" he said it louder, spacing out his words as if I didn't hear them the first time.

I breathed calmly. Even after I gave the news, the outcome would surely end up in me being the cause. That wasn't entirely inaccurate…

"He's alive…" I began before adding, "…barely, though."

Sokka breathed a large sigh of relief. "At least he's alive; that's the main thing."

"You seem to be taking this well?" I inadvertently said aloud.

He cast me a look, "Because he's still alive. I know my father—he can get through anything long as he's still breathing."

I turned my eyes away from him, "He wasn't for a minute there…" I muttered softly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing—Are Suki and Kya here with you?"

He nodded, "They're outside in the carriage. I wanted Suki to stay home with Kya, but she must have overheard that her grandfather was in the hospital and insisted on coming," he stated, soon thereafter adding, "That's the first time she's left her room since you left."

That hurt, really. "Did you come here to check on your father or see if I had anything to do with it?"

He rolled his eyes, "Honestly? A little bit of both. He said he was going to talk to you, and then an hour later I'm being told my father's in the hospital. I have to admit, my first thoughts weren't all that pleasant towards you."

"Well, you're welcome," I said harshly. "If it hadn't been for me, he'd probably be dead right now!"

Sokka scoffed, "If it hadn't been for you, he probably wouldn't have had a heart attack in the first place!" he retorted. I couldn't help but admit that there was a certain truth to that statement. "Tell me, Aang, when did he have that heart attack, huh?"

"He was just leaving," I answered, hiding the details as best I could.

But Sokka could see the full truth was hiding in my eyes, "And what happened before that?"

"Nothing," I insisted, unknowingly avoiding eye contact as I stared at his boots.

"Tell me, Aang!"

The anger building up inside me was becoming tenser. "Drop dead," I spat.

The councilman misunderstood my response, and I could tell by the look on his face that he was on his wits end with me, "I…said…tell me!"

I stood up from my seat. "I just did," I sneered before turning away from him and heading down the hall towards the exit. As I swung open the doors to the hospital, I spotted an ostrich horse-drawn carriage parked by the curb. I recognized it immediately by its navy blue paint job, not to mention the five-year-old peeking out the window. She stared at me for only a brief moment before she sat back down in her seat, a depressed look on her face.

I halted myself and thought for a moment. They still didn't if Hakoda was okay or not. Right now Sokka was probably in his father's room, talking to the doctors or something. No telling how long he'd be in, though. I breathed a sigh and approached them. I tapped the window with a comforting smile.

Kya glanced at me only briefly before turning away. Suki reached over her niece and slid the glass window down. She was speechless, but her eyes asked for the news.

I looked to Kya, "Gramp-Gramp's going to be okay, Kya," I told my daughter. "His heart just didn't agree with him tonight."

Suki caught on to my meaning and breathed a somewhat sigh of relief, as her husband had done.

Kya just turned away, scooting closer to her aunt and burying her face in the clothing. She was mad at me; I could tell. Earlier she couldn't keep her eyes off me, now she wouldn't even look at me for more than two seconds. I reached in to brush her hair with my hand but she swatted it away. A look of disappointment rose upon my face and I brought my hand back. I stared at her, marveling at her beauty and the similarities to her mother for only a few minutes more when I heard the hospital doors open from behind me. Sokka was coming down the steps.

I left the carriage with a final statement, "I'm gonna make this right; I promise."

* * *

The voice and the dreams—they'd come back again. It had been impossible to sleep. I'd been trying to keep from drinking, and every night I hadn't, it'd take hours just for me to fall asleep because of the screaming I could swear was coming from someone standing over me. On top of that, I'd wake up countless times in a single night from dreams. They varied randomly, but the basis of each was pretty much the same: what my life would have been like if Katara hadn't died.

I couldn't take it anymore. They had to stop. I started drinking again and I didn't regret it one bit. They kept the voice quiet for a while, but the dreams continued without any lag whatsoever. Soon enough, the voice grew stronger as well. Not even drinking would shut it up. I tried again and again without any success. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I decided to get in touch with Kazuto.

I sat in the bar at a table, wearing a hat and gloves to cover my tattoos, waiting for him to show as snow fell outside. I had asked the bartender about him earlier, if he was a regular. The bartender stated that he was usually there on Friday nights from sundown until an hour before closing. It was past sundown and the sky was pitch black, not even a star insight during this new moon. I was beginning to think he wasn't going to show when he finally arrived. I sent him a wave and gestured him over to the table in a corner, separated from the main area of the bar. He greeted me and sat down.

"Haven't seen you here in a while," he said. "I thought you skipped town."

"I've been in a little trouble with the law," I stated.

Kazuto's attention was suddenly caught to the fullest. He leaned towards me, his eyes firm with stone. "Did they find it?"

I nodded in the affirmative.

He suddenly gripped my shirt collar, pulling me across the table so that I was only inches from his face, "You didn't rat me out, did you?"

I grabbed his wrists and shoved him off of me, "Calm down. I didn't tell them anything, all right."

He sighed in relief, "Good." He cast an apologizing smile, "Sorry, Kuzon, but when it comes to stuff like this, a guy like me can get a little tense at times."

"Just don't take it out on me," I warned. "Listen, you got a little something on you?"

"And little 'something' more," he retorted.

I looked around for a bit; making sure no one was in hearing range. I leaned in, "Kazuto, I keep hearing this voice all the time. It's screaming in my heard. I can barely get to sleep at night, but even when I can sleep, I keep having these dreams."

"What kinds of voices?"

"That's not important," I said, disregarding the question. "What's important is I need to know if you got something to make them go away!"

"Ever try tequila?" he asked, cocking a brow as if I was insane.

I rolled my eyes, "You think I haven't tried that yet?"

Kazuto made a contemplating eye roll and sighed, "Alright, follow me."

We departed from our table and proceeded outside. We crossed the street and walked into a nearby alley. Kazuto looked around, specifically the street surrounding the area, and continued farther down until we reached an empty area. He told me to wait there before proceeding cut around the corner on the opposite side of the alley we came from. A few minutes later he returned, breathing fire into his hands. It was freezing outside, but nothing compared to temperatures I had endured in the South Pole.

He took a small capsule from out his coat pocket. Inside was some kind of white powder, like flour or something. I cocked a brow in question, "Flour? You're giving me flour?"

Kazuto made a snorted chuckle, "Sure, 'flour'. Just don't use it for baking or nothing."

I stared at the capsule for a while and hesitantly began to reach out for it when a thought came to mind. "Are you sure this stuff will get rid of the voices?"

"Yes, I'm positive that it will. Trust me—just, uh, be a bit careful with it, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I said, handing him some money. He swiftly removed it from my palm and slid it into a pocket hidden inside his coat. He cast a soft smile, somehow seeming pleasured by my purchase. In all honesty, at the time I still found what he was doing to be quite vulgar and sick, selling illegal substances to anyone who seemed interested. But I didn't really care at the moment. Right now I had gotten what I wanted and just wanted to get out of there. I stuck the capsule in my pocket and proceeded out the alley, scanning the areas and tipping my hat down to cover my arrow as I strolled home.

* * *

The days passed quickly, so much I rarely was able to keep track of time. I kept myself isolated in the house, positioned just on the edge of the island. No one bothered me, no one dared to come near me. The only time I left the house was to go and grab some cigarettes and a new bottle of booze. I'd pick food from the greenhouse, too, but that only took minutes. I was in my own world—a world I no longer had any control over. There was no use trying to regain control. I'd lost it completely the night she died. What did it matter anyway? It had become clear I didn't have what it took to take my own life, so I might as well just let the universe do whatever the hell it wanted to with it.

I woke up to find myself sprawled out on the couch. My brain was pounding against my skull with the force of a thousand boulders. Upon the resurrection of my other senses, I discovered an empty bottle in my hand, dangling off the edge. I was momentarily confused. I hadn't any recollection of even lying down the night before. I groaned groggily, knowing that I was awake and that there was no point in returning to the blissfulness of sleep with my skull taking punches from fists of ragged stone. Hell, it wasn't even a peaceful sleep. I didn't remember any of it, fortunately. No dreams. No voices. Maybe now I could convince myself I wasn't insane.

My body was forced to its feet by an unknown force, driven to hide away in the bathroom and take my "medicine" the "doctor" prescribed for my hallucinations.

On the outside, I looked like I had just woken up after only a few hours of sleep; however, inside I longed for someone to just come and take me away from this constant masquerade known as "coping with life."

I opened the door to the bathroom and closed it behind me. I placed myself in front of the sink and began searching my pockets. I took out a small capsule and opened it, sprinkling two lines of white power across the counter, then closed it and put it back. I shoved my hand into my pocket and ripped out a cripple banknote, rolled it up, and leaned down toward the counter. I snorted the lines of drugs, feelings the near tingling sensation as it coursed up my nose and into my system. I sniffed softly; making sure none hadn't been left any behind in my nostril. I then continued to pump some water into the sink, cupped some in my hand and splashed my face to wake me up, using the remnants of the water to clean off my upper lip and right below my nose.

All of a sudden, I felt weaker. I gripped the edges of the counter, trying to keep on my feet. I felt drunk. Huh... five years ago I never even wanted to experience anything like it, and here I was comparing it to what I suspected was exactly what I paid for: something to finish me off.

I was so lightheaded I figured my heart-rate was raging so fast that it was about to burst.

I began to cough violently like I had nails stuck in my throat.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Aang?"

My eyes widened to a voice, one I hadn't heard in a long time. I was sure I would never hear it out loud again.

I forced my head to look up, into a glass mirror, where I saw a figure standing behind me, one that was all too familiar.

"Gyatso..." I whispered the name, shocked and confused. I saw his face; his old, shriveling face, yet kind and nurturing with the smile that rested below his snow-white fu-Manchu mustache.

However, his smile quickly turned upside-down into a disappointed frown. "Why, Aang? You had always been such a good boy—a bringer of peace and love. Everyone around you looked up to you; knew that with you around anything could be done."

"That was the old days..." I muttered below my breath before looking back into his eyes. "I was foolish; a child who knew nothing of the real world and all the pain it brings people. There is no happiness in life, not without that one person you love to keep you going."

"Love is a form of energy, Aang, and it swerves all around us. Love can never be destroyed; it can only be reformed."

"You aren't the first person to convince me of that lie, Gyatso!" I said angrily. "Seeing love being ripped away from you is what destroys it, and without love life is nothing but a barren wasteland!"

"Then what is Kya?"

My eyes widened again.

"Nothing; she's nothing to me..." I said, turning away from him with my eyes shut.

"She's your daughter, a bundle of life formed by the unity of two loves. That is the reformation of love, Aang."

I tightened my eyes, trying to prevent the tears from escaping the wells of my face. "Like you would ever know," I growled, turning back around and looking him dead in the eyes.

"The Air Nomads never kept their children! No, they gave them away to others to take care of them for them! I'm simply carrying on the tradition!"

"You never believed in that tradition. You always found it vulgar and dishonorable."

"Well, maybe it's time I stopped being so childish about that as well. Maybe she doesn't deserve her real family, rather one that will actually care for her!"

"You're being foolish, Aang. You know well that these aren't the new traditions of the Air Nomads that you are trying to put forth with your Acolytes. You just don't want to escape the fact that you have to move on and stop living in a world where everything is pointless. Life is for a purpose, not to be thrown away because you just can't let go of Katara!"

"Shut up!" My fist pounded against the counter and the marble bent around my fist. I growled angrily as I suddenly punched the mirror out of sudden rage. The glass shattered all over the place, breaking into even smaller bits and pieces upon impact with the floor. I found myself leaning against the wall, sliding down against it as I cried into my palms before finally resting on the floor and into the fetal position.

* * *

"Councilman Sokka, your father can see you now," the nurse told him.

Suki's comforting hand retreated from Sokka's leg. He got up from the chair in the waiting room and followed the lady to his father's room. He had asked the nurse that the moment his father had awakened to come and get him. They had asked him to come in tonight due to the possibility Hakoda would have enough of his strength back to have visitors. He'd been awake for days, but the heart attack he had gone through had taken a lot out of him.

He was led down a corridor of hospital rooms; almost everyone had a patient in them. She began to slow her pace.

"Now he might still be a bit weak. Though, this is common with most heart attack victims. We've given him some herbs to help keep his heart at strength. His blood pressure simply got too high, so the causes could very... though we're fairly sure that stress or irritation was the cause," she informed the councilman. "Try to keep him away from stressful situations from now on, and he'll be just fine." She gave him an assuring smile.

"Thank you, ma'am," he bowed softly to her and headed into the room.

His father saw him coming in immediately and smiled, "Heyy, I know that handsome face..." he said softly, weakly.

Sokka smiled softly; glad to know that his father was feeling well. He took up a seat next to Hakoda's bedside.

"How are you doing, Dad?"

"I've been better. The healers here know what they're doing, but..." the smile on his face vanished for only a moment, "...I've been attended by better."

The councilman knew who Hakoda was referring to, but decided against commenting on it. "You sure gave us a scare, y'know. Kya and Suki are waiting to hear from you. They've been really worried, especially Kya."

However, Hakoda didn't seem interested in the fact that they were there. In fact, it almost didn't make a difference to him. Currently, he was only worried about one thing only.

"What about Aang?" he asked.

Sokka was surprised by the question; his eyes widened and then sighed softly, "He's not here. He left after we first arrived the night you were admitted. I haven't seen him since."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Yeah but, uh… we aren't really on the best of terms right now."

His father sighed, "Sokka… You can't just give up on him, especially not now when he needs you the most."

"He told you to drop dead, Dad, and you nearly did! What if the Acolytes hadn't found you? What if you had been left there to die in the snow?"

"Sokka—"

"He doesn't care for you anymore, not one of us!"

"Sokka," Hakoda barked, startling his son with his sudden burst of noise, "it was Aang who saved me."

"What?" his son question in near disbelief.

"I was in a daze, but I know what I saw, Son. He was trying to revive me, shouting my name as loud as possible. I don't think he even realized that I regained consciousness before the medics came," his father explained.

The councilman was surprised by this, but at the same time relieved. It could be seen in his eyes, how they widened and small tear he managed to hide from his father's view. Perhaps Aang was still himself but trapped deep down inside the pit that alcohol and nicotine had formed around his kind spirit.

"Aang may still be who he is deep down, Sokka; but the truth is…he's had every right to be angry with me this whole time."

Sokka shook his head, "You didn't do anything wrong…"

Hakoda sighed in self-shame, "Yes, I did…" he began. "When Katara went into labor, I spoke with Aang outside the room in private. I never told you this, but when your mother went into labor with you, she lost a lot of her strength and became very weak. She lost consciousness over and over again, but she always woke up, eventually."

"But she was fine, Dad. Last time I checked, she didn't die from giving birth to me," Sokka interjected.

"I know, but that's not the point. I was afraid that, like your mother, Katara would go through the same pain, and felt I should warn Katara and Aang. I managed to tell her a couple of weeks after we discovered her pregnancy, but only told Aang the night she went into labor. I didn't want to worry him or make him more paranoid than he was already becoming," Hakoda continued, voice shaking. "Right before she died, she told Aang what I told her, and she seemed to believe this was how it was supposed to happen. She somehow felt she had to accept that she might die that night… And she did, and now Aang believes that I encouraged her to accept death and not fight it."

"He feels betrayed…" Sokka muttered to himself.

"You need to help him," his father told him, interrupting his train of thought. "You and Suki and Kya, you're the only ones who could possibly help him."

"I've tried, Dad. You don't think I have?"

"I'd never doubt you on that," his father reassured. "But you'll find a way, Sokka. I know you will."

"I don't know, Dad. It seems like every word I say to him just goes in one ear and out the other. I can't get through to him," Sokka shrugged, looking away from his father from lack of self-confidence.

"You just have to find the right words."

Sokka nodded, "I'll try."

Hakoda looked at his son with confidence, "Now, go on home. Kya needs her sleep."

"Okay; I'll come to visit you again in the morning."

"Don't rush yourself. Put Aang first, alright?"

"I will." He hugged his father, "Bye, Dad. Get better while I'm gone, okay."

"I'll do my best," the chief chuckled.

Sokka left for the door, taking a final glance at his father before finally leaving and reuniting with Suki and Kya. Suki was still wide awake, waiting for her husband to return and for good news, meanwhile, Kya slept in the seat next to her aunt, snoring lightly with drool hanging off her bottom lip, and the doll of her father in hand, clutching it tightly in her sleep. She seemed to be sleeping blissfully. It was almost a shame to wake her in order to get her into the carriage.

"Is he okay?" asked Suki as Sokka entered the room.

"He's fine; still a bit weak, but he'll make it. Like I said: As long as he's breathing, he can make it through anything," Sokka stated confidently, reassuring his wife.

Suki turned to Kya, watching her sleep for a moment. She smiled, but it soon faded as she turned back to her husband.

"What are we going to do?"

"About Kya?"

"About all of this!" Suki exclaimed as quietly as she could, sitting back down next to her niece, softly stroking her brown, silky hair. "She doesn't deserve this, Sokka. No child does. She's forced to live every day of her life, feeling unloved by her own father. But still, she has hope for him…" A tear dripped from her eye. "That's the hardest part, Sokka," Suki continued. "It is hard watching her have so much hope for Aang, and we don't even know if he is ever even going to look at her again, not to mention accept her as his daughter."

Sokka sat down next to her and grasped her shoulders in comfort, "I know, Suki. It's hard for me, too. But we just have to keep trying with Aang; it's the only way."

"I try to understand what he's going through," Suki continued, twisting her body around to meet Sokka's and nudging her head into his chest, "but sometimes I just want to hate him for what he's putting _her_ through."

"I know, Suki, I know. I'm going to go see him again tomorrow. He was himself for a while when he was with Kya. Maybe all we have to do is get them back in the same room," Sokka suggested, nestling her in his arms.

"I hope you are right…" she murmured.

Sokka sighed, glancing at Kya, "I hope I am too." Sokka yawned and separated from Suki. "I think it's time for us to head home for the night, and get Kya to sleep."

Suki nodded in agreement, "Yeah, we should, shouldn't we?"

"Mhmm," acknowledged Sokka, getting up from his seat to scoop Kya up in his arms, as gently as he could to keep her from waking. They left the hospital and got back in Sokka's carriage, and he took the reins and guided them back home. It was nighttime now, and the moon was nearly full. It was almost that time of the month for the full moon to return. Sokka kept his eyes on it more than he did the road. Before when he would look up at the radiant moon, he would think of Yue, but now all he could think about was Katara. She would cross his mind hundreds of times a day, but he would barely acknowledge her image. He didn't want to turn out like Aang, unable to get her off his mind and letting the depression sink in and devour him. It was something he couldn't allow to happen, no matter what.

It didn't take long before they were back home. They took the elevator up to the penthouse, with Kya in Sokka's arms. He got the keys from out his coat pocket.

"I'll go put Kya to sleep. Could you check the mail?" he asked Suki as he stepped inside their apartment.

Suki nodded and opened the mail slot outside their door, taking out a small pile of letters and bills. She flipped through them, looking to see what all needed to be dealt with as soon as possible. She took the letters inside with her as she flipped through them, and one caught her eye.

Kya was set gently in her bed, still clutching her doll. Her uncle softly put her blanket over her, tucking her in. She could tell she was in the comfort of her own bed, grasping the blanket and pulling it up to her chin, uncovering her feet. Sokka chuckled softly and left her be. Normally he would put her in pajamas, but it would just wake her at this point. She would be fine.

Sokka closed the door behind him, meeting an illuminated hallway. He looked down the hall to the living room, finding the light on. He thought Suki would have gone to bed immediately after checking the mail. Why was she still up?

He strolled down the hall to fetch her. As he got closer, he heard what sounded almost like sobbing. As he reached the end of the hall, he found Suki in one of the chairs, reading a letter while tears rolled down her face. She was shaking, barely able to hold her hands still. Sokka, now shivering and curious as to what she was crying about, approached Suki, kneeling by her side.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

He brought her wet, tearing eyes to meet her husband's. Her voice quivered, "H-he is getting rid of her, Sokka. He's setting Kya up for adoption…" she gripped his collar tightly, "He's going to take her away from us!"

Sokka was shocked and angered. For a moment, he couldn't believe her words. He took the letter from her hands and scanned over it while she continued to sob. After reading over it, he crumpled the paper in his fist, clenching it tightly.

"He's gone too far now," he said, angered, hugging Suki tightly, trying to ease her sobs while trying to hold back his own. They had treated Kya as their child for five years now, and if in the event Aang never would change, they knew they would take Kya into their custody in a heartbeat. But now Aang had other plans. He wasn't going to give Kya to them; he was going to take her from them, and set her up to be taken by strangers she's never seen before. She'd gone through enough without this! That's what angered Sokka most, that Aang just couldn't accept her as a member of this family, in any way. He wanted to keep her out of his life, but he crossed the line with adoption.

"I'm going over there," said Sokka, breaking the tight embrace. "I'm going to knock some sense into that boy's head."

Suki grabbed his arm when he started to leave, "You can't! That will just antagonize him more, Sokka; you'll encourage him."

He knew she was right, but he didn't want to admit it. He just wanted to knock some teeth at this point. He was ruining this family, a family that had brought him in when he had nothing.

"Ugh, fine…" Sokka groaned, "But I'm still going to go talk to him. This needs to stop—he's out of line."

Suki wiped her eyes with her sleeve, "I-I know, but I don't want you to hurt him."

Sokka couldn't make any promises. No, there weren't any promises to be made. Whatever happened between them was going to happen, and Sokka wouldn't hold back if it came to that. He turned to Suki and nodded, giving her some satisfaction that he would at least consider her words, without necessarily promising to keep them. She let him go and he left, nearly slamming the door behind him.

Suki continued to sit where she was, trying to control her sobs. She was afraid this might happen to her. She was becoming too attached to Kya that she was beginning to feel she truly was her mother, and the thought of losing her was too much to bear. She had to control herself. Unfortunately, that became much more difficult when she emerged from the shadows.

"Suki, where is Sokka going?" she asked sleepily, rubbing her eye and still half asleep, trying to make sense of her surroundings.

Suki sniffed and put herself back together so she wouldn't be seen like this in front of her. It was easier said than done, but she managed to accomplish doing so.

"He's just going out for a while. He will be back, and you need to go back to bed," she told the little girl, as nurturing as her emotions would allow her to be at this moment.

"But why?" she asked, confused.

"He just has something to do," Suki answered as she scooped Kya up in her arms, causing her to drop the ragdoll of Aang. "Let's get back to bed now, alright?"

Kya's eyes remained fixated on her doll. She wanted to reach for it, and demand her aunt to get it back, but something stopped her. She didn't know what it was or why it didn't want her to beg for the lifeless object. She was put in her pajamas and set back to bed. Suki planted a kiss on her forward and bid her sweet dreams before leaving the room. She had tried to hide it, but Kya had noticed she'd been crying earlier.

* * *

I awoke to the sound of something pounding at my door.

"Aang! I know you are there! Open up!" yelled a voice. It was angry, but I didn't care. I wasn't in the mood for someone else's own drama. I'd had a busy day, and had been aching for some sleep. Now this jerk comes over and wakes me up? Guess his parents never taught him any manners...

I picked myself off the couch, taking a minute to wake up. I grabbed the half bottle of beer from the coffee table in front of me and took a sip of it to wake me up as if the pounding on the door wasn't enough. Meh, it wasn't enough to wake me up though. Luckily, I had something else that would wake me up just enough.

I reached in my pocket and took out the capsule of coke. It hovered over the table as I tapped it, making a line of drugs. I closed the lid to the capsule and placed it back in my pocket, replacing it with a rolled-up yuan. I bent down and sniffed up the drug, making sure to get it all up. I coughed quite violently as the buzz hit me. I shook my head to shake it off and made sure I got it all, ensuring no fragments of it were left on my nose.

"Aang, wake up you lazy bastard!" the voice yelled, pounding on my door some more with the bottom of his fist.

_Calling me names now, huh?_ I thought to myself as I turned to the door. _Ever heard of a respectful guest?_ I got up from the couch and approached the door, my head aching from my hangover and my hair drenched with sweat. I swung open the door, not finding the face of my visitor to be a pleasant one.

"Well, hello, Sokka… What brings you here at…" I glanced at the clock across the room, "…one o'clock in the morning?"

"I came to talk to you," he said, his eyes narrowed with what I suspected to be anger. I didn't acknowledge it. Like I had said, I wasn't in the mood for someone else's drama.

"Can't it wait till morning?" I asked leaning against the door frame some more, grinning with my bloodshot eyes.

"No, it can't, unless you're too doped to talk," he retorted.

I chuckled, "Well, now that you mention it…"

Sokka groaned in disgust, brushing past me into my home without at least giving the courtesy to invite himself in.

"Sure, come on in, Sokka," I said sarcastically, closing the door behind him. "Want a drink?" I should have at least offered him a drink, right?

"I'm fine…" he said, looking around my small cabin home. It was crazy in there, dirty bowls and plates scattered everywhere, beer bottles doubling the number of dirty dishes, and clothes scattered. Right now I was only wearing a pair of pants, and my shirt was somewhere in there. I just couldn't remember where.

"No, I'm fine," he finally answered.

Sokka glanced to where the bathroom was, and the door was left open. He looked inside and saw the shattered marble on the ground. He walked towards the restroom and took a peek inside, finding glass shards and fragments of the marble sink spread across the floor. He looked disgusted by the current state of my home. Like I was supposed to care what he thought. He didn't live here.

I leaned against the wall across from the bathroom, just waiting for him to comment. Something inside me wanted him to pick a fight with me about something, anything really.

"So how's your dear old daddy? He gonna live?" I suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

Sokka shot a look at me of annoyance and disgust. Seemed like that was the only look he gave me these days. "He'll be fine. No thanks to you."

"Hey, let's not forget who was there when he collapsed and quite possibly saved that old fart's life!"

"Let's also not forget who _caused_ him to collapse!" Sokka retorted, not pleased by my words...obviously.

I rolled my eyes, "Well if you're looking for someone to blame, it looks like I'm the guy you're looking for. It seems everything's my fault nowadays."

Sokka growled in annoyance, trying not to get sidetracked. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what? Like I said, it seems that I'm being blamed for everything."

He twirled around facing me, "Why are you putting Kya up for adoption?!"

"Ohhhh, that!" I remarked, a smile forming on my face as I walked into the kitchen, feeling dazed and my balance wobbling. I grabbed a beer from the freezer box and popped the cap off on the table, immediately bringing it to my lips. I took a breath of satisfaction, "Well, Sokka, it's quite simple. Unlike you, I don't have a mother or a father. I don't have brothers or sisters. It's just me, and that's how all Air Nomads are. We don't have families, only guardians. We never see any of our biological parents, and that tradition has been carried on for centuries."

I sipped down more of my beer. "So, I figured the best way to fix this whole mess is to give Kya away, follow the traditions of my ancestors. Set her up for adoption, give her to some guardians."

"What's wrong with me and Suki?" Sokka demanded.

"Simple: You're her biological uncle, meaning you are a biological relative. And the Air Nomad's wouldn't allow that, no, no, no," I explained, deliberately trying to antagonize him with my inconsiderate tone and facial expressions.

"So, adoption is the best decision. Besides, there's a bright side. You and Suki get to stop playing pretend with Kya. Now you can get back to your mediocre lives and stop acting like you are actually parents. Clearly there's some force in the world that doesn't think you're fit to be parents, or else Suki would be able to have kids of her own."

"You leave her out of this," Sokka warned sternly.

"Maybe Katara was wrong; maybe it's not Suki's defect, but yours instead," I stated harshly. "Maybe you are the reason you can't satisfy your own wife with a child, and have to rely on my daughter instead. That's why you are afraid to lose her, isn't it? Not because of me, but your own selfish needs."

Sokka tried to ignore my words, and focus his intentions. I was making it difficult for him though, getting under his skin.

"Kya doesn't need this, Aang," Sokka began again. "She can't be taken away from the only family she knows and put into the hands of strangers! She won't be able to handle it!"

I shrugged, "It took me a while. I should have made this decision long ago when she was still a toddler. That's my mistake, but it must be done either way."

"No, it doesn't!" he rejected. "What she needs is her father, a family that will care for her!"

"I'm sure the adoptive family will take good care of her," I argued, sipping more of my drink.

Sokka growled, "Would you stop being so stubborn, and realize what you've become! For God's sake, Aang… what are you?" he shouted at me, more desperate than demanding. I hated how he tried to care about me. I knew the truth. He didn't care about me. He only cared about himself, Kya, and Suki. He was just here because I was trying to take Kya away from him. Couldn't he just understand I was trying to help her! If she didn't have to deal with this detached family, she would be happy. I know she would be.

I turned away from him, chugging a great amount of my drink before responding. "The result of nothing but pain and misery…" I mumbled to myself, leaning all my weight against the wall as I chugged the alcohol some more. Before I knew it, the bottle was empty. I tried to gather the very last drop before accepting that it was time for another.

"You sure you don't want a drink, _bro_?" I offered once again. "It would help you accept what's going to happen to your dear niece. Trust me; I know it makes the pain go away."

"I'm not going to become like you, Aang. Unlike you, I dealt with the pain of losing Katara, and accepted it, just as I had to accept the loss of my mother!"

I made a sarcastic gasp, "Congratulations! What, do you get a reward for every time you mention your 'acceptance'? Get over yourself, Sokka…" I said as I retrieved another beer. I opened it and began chugging it, "See, this is the difference between you and me. You forget too easily. You wanted to forget she died so you wouldn't have to deal with the loss. You didn't accept it. Hell, I doubt you accept it even now. You want to leave her to rot in the past, just like how she's rotting in her grave."

Sokka's fists clenched and his eyes were narrowed, glaring at me from across the room. I knew he was trying to hold back, but it wouldn't be long until he started the fight I was itching for, whatever the reason was.

I strolled into the kitchen and retrieved another bottle of alcohol, quickly removing the cap and bringing the bottle to my lips, chugging about a quarter of it down easily. I took a breath of satisfaction.

"But you didn't come here to talk about me, now did you? You came to talk about the adoption, probably even to get me to reconsider, right? Well here is my final decision:" a smug grin formed on my lips, "She's going to be adopted, Sokka. I'm going to get her out of this broken family, and put her in the arms of some strangers. She'll never see me, you, or Suki ever again, and I can promise that. All I have to do is say the word. Because whether you like it or not, it is my complete right to do so, and you have no right whatsoever to say otherwise."

He stomped toward me. _Come on. Let it all out._ He was on the edge, and he and I both knew it. He was on the brink of starting the fight I was dying for. He didn't strike me though. He stood toe to toe with me and looked me in the eye.

"I will not allow you to do that to her," he stated with emphasis.

I tipped the bottle into my mouth and drank the rest, then set it on the table. "What are you going to do, Sokka? Punch me? Go right on ahead; it won't change a thing."

We glared into each other's eyes. He was about an inch or two taller than me, but I wasn't intimidated in the least. Finally, he broke eye contact and shook his head, turning away from me.

"Where are you going, Sokka? Going to run back home and tell your wife to stop playing pretend with Kya?" I taunted him, watching him with a smug look.

"I told Suki I wasn't going to do this, but you leave me no choice…" Sokka suddenly twirled around, swinging a balled fist toward my face. I stepped slightly to the side, grabbing the upper part of his arm and leaning backward, raising my leg and kicking him in the chin with a counterattack. He stumbled backward upon the impact.

"Careful, Sokka; some drunks are stronger and faster than you'd think," I taunted him again as he grasped his chin.

He growled, raising his fists, "Or is it the dope enhancing your performance? I saw your eyes, Aang! I never thought you'd actually resort to drugs."

"You don't know me…" I snarled. I charged at him, hoping to deliver another blow. I had been lucky earlier, but the truth was, I was too drunk and stoned to actually fight. This would be an easy fight for Sokka, and he knew it.

He stepped to the side, enough that I ran right past him. As I passed, he jabbed me in the back with the side of his hand, his fingers straight. It was enough to make me clutch my back. I turned back around and balled my fist, aiming for his face. He executed a counterattack similar to the one I used on him earlier, except he was stronger. I was put into a daze and stumbled, bumping into the back of the couch I had been sleeping on. There was an empty bottle on the back of it. I didn't even have to think about it. I took it in my hand and chucked it at him. Of course, he dodged it and came back for me. I tried to focus my senses enough, and gather some form of speed. As he approached me, I was able to kick him in the gut, causing him to bend over in pain. I grabbed his shoulders and began to thrust my knee into his chest repeatedly. Each was strong enough to make his body jump, and he grunted loudly from each blow. I struck him about ten times before I began to lose my strength. I shoved him away from me, knocking him into a wooden chair that fell over and snapped once he fell into it.

"Get out of my house… Get off my island…" I ordered him, bending over and breathing heavily, about to lose balance.

Sokka was set in a daze, his ribs throbbing. His right sleeve had been ripped by the wood of the broken chair, leaving a nasty cut on his upper arm. As he regained his focus, he saw I was kneeling over, trying to keep my balance and grabbing the couch to support me. He forced himself back onto his feet, launching a strong punch across my face. My face jerked to my right from the force of the attack, disorienting me. He curved his fist into my chest, forcing me to kneel over where my face met his kneecap. My head lurched back, making everything blurry and my lip cut and bleeding. As stunned as I became, I could still feel each of the following assaults. He grabbed my shoulder, holding me in place while he punched me with two right hooks, and then switched to a single left hook. By now, I was backed against the wall, at the mercy of his anger being unleashed.

In a daze, I saw the bottle I had set down earlier. I managed to reach out and grab it, shattering it against Sokka's skull. It was enough to stop him from attacking me again while he grasped the spot where the glass shattered, groaning from the sharp pain. He looked at his hand to find small spots of blood. As minor as the injury seemed to be, it hurt like hell to Sokka.

I didn't have the energy to fight back, much less move. I slumped down the wall, ending up on the floor. I could barely control my breathing and my face stung like hell. But Sokka was hungry for more.

The cut on his head had taken its toll on him, and he could now get back to beating the shit out of me. He grabbed my collar and picked me up onto my feet. A left hook snapped my head to the right. With all the other pain I was experiencing, I felt hardly anything. Sokka was ready to finish me. He grabbed my collar again and swung me to the left, shoving me toward the couch. I flipped over it and I landed on the coffee table, breaking both it and the glass cover. The glass shattered under my back, and the wood slanting downward toward my limp body. I was left in the debris of a broken furniture piece, my face bruised and my lip cut and bleeding. The glass ripped some of my clothes and cut me in numerous places, but none very severe.

Sokka approached me, grabbing his arm where he'd been cut. He looked down at me, breathing angrily in a soft growl.

My breathing was rugged, straining as I coughed. "What… are you… waiting for?" I demanded in between short breaths, "Why don't you just… kill me now?"

"I'm not going to kill you, Aang. I would never hurt Kya like that. Killing you would hurt Kya and Katara more than you have already."

I resentfully raised my head, "I never hurt Katara…"

Sokka looked away from me with disgrace, "If you truly believe that, then you _are_ lost."

I sighed in annoyance, dropping my head against the debris, "Fuck you…"

My words didn't reach him, or at least he didn't let them faze him. "You stay away from Kya," he warned. "Do you hear me? Stay away from her, stay away from me, Suki, my father—ALL OF US! All you care about is yourself; you don't even care about Katara anymore. You blame all your pain on her loss, but really it's just you trying to justify yourself. At this point, you can rot in Hell for all I care," he growled.

"Your words… won't affect my… decision…" I interjected. "She's not yours to raise…"

"Go right on ahead, Aang. I dare you to try and take her from us," he continued. "I will use every last bit of my power to make sure that _never_ happens. Just because you're the biological father, doesn't mean you know what's best for her."

I was silent mostly for the next couple of minutes. I wasn't thinking about anything. I just wanted to lay there, let the alcohol, drugs, and fatigue put me to sleep. Finally, I spoke for the final time that night. "Get out… Just… get out."

Sokka just couldn't leave without having the final word. "You were my brother, Aang. Now… you're nothing to me."

The next thing I heard was the door slamming shut. Afterward, I didn't even think to get up and at least prop myself on the couch. I just laid there the rest of the night in the pile of debris until I fell asleep, hoping I would never wake up. I would never admit it openly, but Sokka was right. I was nothing to anybody now. The only reason I was alive was because it would be too much trouble to die…

* * *


	7. Prayers For Recovery

* * *

**Chapter 7:**   
**Prayers for Recovery**

Sokka returned home later that night, clutching his arm where a shard of glass had pierced him. He had wrapped the wound with a piece of his clothing he had torn off, applying pressure to it. The cut had been deeper than he thought, as evident by the amount of blood the wrapping had soaked up. His skull had crimson blood trickling down the side of his partially shaved head from the glass bottle that had been shattered against it, but there wasn't much he could do for that on his own, and there was a trickle of dried crimson-black blood hanging off his lip. Apart from some more bruises around his ribs and an aching spine, the cuts were his only major injuries.

He kept thinking back on what had happened, the events playing back in his head. There were many things he regretted, mostly about his own actions, but overall, he was ashamed for attacking Aang with such ferocity. He had assaulted the drunk's face, with the intention of knocking him unconscious, and even had the audacity to crash him into a table of thick glass and weak wood, leaving him there to wallow in his own misery. He wasn't even sure if Aang was going to be okay, or check if the glass might have pierced him and caused a serious injury that may result in him bleeding out to… Sokka didn't even want to think of that. There was a part of him wanted to turn back and go make sure he'd be alright, but the aggression he was still harboring inside thought it wise to leave him be and learn from his mistakes. It was a decision his mind made on its own, and he continued on to his apartment.

Sokka was lucky to catch the man in charge of handling the elevators, as he was just about to take off for the night. The man stared at him with concern but thought it best to mind his own business. He tended the elevator with no questions asked and sent Sokka up to his penthouse.

He exited the elevator and opened the door to his home. He tried to be as quiet as possible while he entered the apartment as to not wake his wife or niece. It was times like this he hated how much noise the door made while closing; its squeaking hinges echoing throughout the quiet abode.

The light flickered on and Sokka nearly jumped out of his skin, turning to find that Suki had waited up for him.

She immediately saw the dried blood on his lip and the torn clothing and blood-stained wrapping, not to mention how irregular his entire appearance was. He looked like he'd been in a bar fight. Ironically, he might as well have been.

"You're hurt!" she addressed as soon as she saw the wounds.

"I'm fine," he assured, shrugging her off. "Just a scratch."

"A scratch?!" she negated, "Sokka, you are bleeding! That wrap is soaked in blood!" Suki went on, distraught and speaking way too loudly for Sokka to ignore.

"Would you shush up!" Sokka insisted, placing a finger on her lips. "Kya's asleep, remember? I don't want her waking up and seeing me like this."

Suki quieted herself and acknowledged she understood with a nod, taking a relaxing breath so she could take in his injuries and deal with them appropriately. "Come on, you're probably going to need snitches..." She grabbed his other arm and pulled him into the dining room, gesturing him to sit while she gathered the first-aid kit. She just hoped she had what she needed to stitch the wound, that way they wouldn't have to go to the hospital and wake up Kya. They couldn't just leave her alone, and Suki wasn't going to send him off to the hospital on his own. The hospital would be the last resort for now. He would still have to go in sometime tomorrow to get it checked, but at least then Kya would have no knowledge of the visit, assuming her uncle was at City Hall working.

Fortunately, she had what she needed. She unwrapped the cloth around Sokka's arm, grateful the bleeding had mostly stopped. Still, she had to clean the wound. She gathered some clean water and flushed out the cut for about three minutes, and then gathered the needle and thread. She placed the tip of the needle in the flame of a nearby candle and began to thread the She worked quick to close the wound, but she did so as carefully as she could. Sokka would wince now and then from the small, yet sharp pain the procedure brought.

"Hold still, you big baby," Suki warned him. "I thought you said it didn't hurt?"

"That was before you began sticking a needle through my skin," he shot back, wincing some more.

Once she closed up the cut she finished up by tying the thread. "There, that should do it. Now to cover up that cut on your head..." she stated, noticing the blood in his hair while she'd been stitching him up. The cut wasn't deep—just a scratch, actually. "A bandage should be enough."

There was a bowl full of bloody rags and cloths which she'd used to clean up his injuries. She went to throw them away while Sokka examined the minor surgery done by his wife. It was hurting more than before, but that was probably due to him thinking about it too much.

Suki came back and sat down next to him, "Now, tell me what happened," she demanded, crossing her arms and looking away from him, "As if I even have to guess... I thought I asked you _not_ to start a fight with him," she continued harshly.

He grabbed her arm, forcing her to look at him, "Hey, now wait a minute, I didn't start anything. I admit, I arrived there a bit aggravated, but I didn't directly start that fight."

"What do you mean you didn't 'directly' start it?"

Sokka sighed, "Alright just let me explain. I did throw the first punch, sort of, but I didn't just waltz in and beat the crap out of him. I was angry with him, but I tried to be rational, talk it out with him. But he was drunk. I couldn't even speak to him before he started acting like the ass he's become..."

"Sokka!" Suki gasped.

"It's true, Suki," he pressed on, "He mentioned my father, asked if he was going to live as if it didn't even matter to him!" Sokka sighed again, bringing himself back together. "I asked him why he is going to put Kya up for adoption. He said he's trying to continue the tradition of the Air Nomads, that they never raised their children and instead gave them guardians with no relations to them whatsoever, and that it is the best thing for Kya. I went on to tell him that what she needed was her father and a family that cared for her, no matter how small. According to him, the monks wouldn't have allowed us to care for Kya since I'm her biological uncle."

Suki continued to listen, but Aang's attitude was stabbing her again. She didn't want to turn her back on him, but at the same time, Aang's personality was making it nearly impossible to not simply give up on him.

"And then he brought you into it. He said we need to stop playing pretend with Kya, that we're pretending to be her mother and father just because we can't have a child on your own, and that there must be some force in the world that doesn't want us to have children. He was getting under my skin, but I tried to keep myself together. But... he just kept going, as if he were just trying to start a fight. I forget too easily, he said. In his mind, he believes I just want to forget she ever died, that she ever even existed. He thinks I just want her to be left in the past. That's how he pushed my buttons, Suki. I knew I was going to lose it if I stayed there, so I tried to leave, but he just went on."

"Sokka..." Suki began, reaching out to comfort him.

"He asked if I was going home to tell you to stop playing pretend with Kya, and that's what pushed me over the edge. I tried to punch him, but he countered it. We got into a pretty violent fight, and after I flipped him over the couch and accidentally smashed him into the table, I left him there."

"Is he alright?" asked Suki, partly concerned.

"I don't know..." he shook his head, ashamed. "I said some things I probably shouldn't have. I told him he was nothing to me now..."

They both became silent, not knowing what to say to the other. They felt uneasy about it all. They were running out of ideas, what to say to the other, and how to explain everything to their niece. How could they explain it to her? It made almost no sense—five years and her father finally comes to see her, and not eve two hours later, was shutting the door on her and about to set her up for adoption. Even if Aang dropped the idea of adoption, she would grow up always wondering the same question: "Why doesn't my father want to be with me?" That was a question they could never answer... She knew her mother had died giving birth, but that wasn't enough to explain why Aang was doing all of this to her... But still, Sokka knew he had gone over the line by disowning him as a family member.

"I shouldn't have said that, but I was being irrational—I wasn't thinking clearly," Sokka added softly, barely speaking clearly enough to be understood.

Suki remained silent, still not knowing what to say.

"I ruined my only chance, Suki; Dad depended on me to help Aang, but all I did was push him away. There's no way he would listen to me now..." Sokka glanced at his wife, "Would you say something, already? It's not helping my self-esteem you being so quiet."

"S-sorry... it's just..."

"You agree with me, don't you? You know there's nothing we can do now, don't you."

She hesitantly nodded, "Y-yeah..."

Sokka sighed, turning away from her, "I knew it..." He got up from his seat and went to the freezer box, taking out a beer. He didn't normally drink, and most of the time they were never stocked up on alcohol, but from time to time even Sokka needed a little something. Suki glared at him with disapproval.

"What? Come on, Suki, you know I don't drink often. One is not going to hurt," he reasoned, heading out onto the balcony.

She just shrugged and looked away, still not approving but knowing she couldn't do a thing about it. Secretly, she also wanted a drink, but she couldn't let herself also submit to a resort such as alcohol. She followed him out onto the balcony, hugging him from behind and giving him a peck on the cheek.

"I'm going to head on to bed, okay? I'll wait up for you though," she spoke softly and sweetly in his ear.

He nodded, "Don't wait up. I'll be in bed in a bit."

His wife nodded and let him go as she headed inside, watching him take a sip of his drink before closing the sliding door and heading to her room. As she strolled down the hall, she peeped into Kya's room, making sure she was asleep. She seemed to be. She was quiet, in the same position she'd be when she slept in her bed, clutching the ragdoll she had picked out at a store a year ago when they went shopping. Sokka and Suki had been surprised by her choice that day, and while at the time they'd been harboring a small grudge against Aang for fighting with Zuko and running off to who knows where, they had allowed her to have it because they knew she needed something to compensate for the absence of her father.

Sokka continued to sip his drink. He groaned after chugging nearly half of it, "I shouldn't be doing this... I'll set a bad example for Kya if she sees me..." he muttered to himself. He shrugged and let it go, "She's asleep..." he told himself, deciding not to worry about it.

He didn't finish his drink though... He got to about half of it before pouring the rest in the sink and discarding the bottle. He headed into the living room, glancing at the shelf by the fireplace and noticing Katara's picture. He stared at it for longer than he expected to. It was always an entrancing image to him. He almost always expected to hear her voice come up from behind him, to joke about how he'll burn a hole through the picture if he kept staring at it so hard. Now he just couldn't stop thinking about Aang, if there was anyone that would be able to help him at this point besides her. There had to be someone! But...there was no one. Sokka was the last hope for him, and he blew it. He knew it, and wouldn't forgive himself for failing his best friend. If only she were here...if only...she could talk to him?

Sokka wiped a forming tear in his eye and went into the kitchen, opening the cupboard and taking out some incense sticks. He brought them by a candle and lit the tips, setting off a soft aroma. He strolled into the living room and placed them on a stand that he set on the table placed in front of the chairs in the living room. Afterward, he retrieved the picture from the shelf and also set it on the table, and took the seat facing the frame.

His body shook furiously, unable to control even the slightest of his movements as the sweet aroma of the incense spread throughout the apartment. He inhaled it deeply, trying to relax his shaking muscles so that he could speak without stuttering. His lip was nearly quivering, as he was unable to control the droplets of water that formed in his eyes and began to drip from his cheeks, dropping his head. He'd always tried to hold it in. He always wanted to be the strong one in this family. He was the one who was never supposed to be seen crying. He was the one who no one would question that he had sadness brewing inside him, albeit never letting it be shown. He didn't just want to be the strong one... He had to be. Sokka had to keep the family together, no matter what. He was failing himself... he wasn't just failing his father or even Aang for that matter. He was failing his sister Katara, and her daughter Kya...

With time, he was able to bring back control over his body, control his tears and the shaking. It wasn't easy, but he was able to get it done. He raised his head and looked directly into the eyes of his sister, wiping his eyes before he spoke. He could almost hear his sister teasing him, "Come on, Sokka, man up. I thought you never cried?" It made him chuckle lightly, almost unheard.

"I don't know if you can hear me..." he began, softly with a quivering voice, "I don't know where you are or what you're doing... I don't know if you even exist as a spirit anymore..." Sokka struggled to go on, the tears in his eyes making everything blurry until he wiped them away. It was almost annoying having to discard them after every few moments.

"Kya's five now... She's been with Suki and me since that night. I don't know if you know this or not, but Aang... he's changed. I-I don't know who he is anymore. First, he went to go stay with Zuko in the Fire Nation so he could cope. I don't know how it happened, but it was there he got involved in alcohol and smoking. He can't go even five minutes without a smoke or a drink... He and Zuko, they got into a fight about two years ago. Zuko found out about Aang's drinking when he found Aang passed out in his room one morning. For a moment, they thought he was dead... They found he'd been so drunk he had passed out, nearly to the point of gaining alcohol poisoning."

"When Aang became conscious and strong enough to speak, Zuko confronted him... I don't know exactly what happened after that, but that night, Aang had disappeared. We hadn't heard from him in two years. We began to suspect he'd never come back...until he did about a month ago..."

"But it's worst now, Katara. He... he's doing drugs now. I tried to get him with Kya so that maybe he would realize what he is becoming, and take responsibility for his own daughter, but he turned his back on her when Dad came. He's convinced that Dad influenced you not to struggle that night...when you became weak, just like Mom..."

"That's not the worst of it though, Katara... Aang, he wants to get rid of her, to give her away to strangers by putting her up for adoption. I went to go try and try to talk some sense into him because I know he'll regret it if he does. I couldn't let him throw Kya away like that!" Sokka's tears grew stronger, and sobs began to show their faces in his eyes, making his vision blurred and causing him to cover his face with his hand, crying into it. "I failed him, Katara. I failed Aang, I failed Kya, I failed Dad...but worst of all...I failed you. I-I was supposed to help him, to get this broken family and put it back together, but all I did was _screw_ it up even more! I was supposed to make you proud by saving Kya's childhood, and Aang's future, but I failed... I showed hostility, not kindness and nurture, as you would have. You could have helped him, but all I did was make matters worse... It's no wonder he won't listen to me anymore."

Sokka raised his head, slipping out of the chair and onto his knees, joining his hands, his eyelids being drowned by his tears, "Please, Katara... I-I need you! Kya needs you, _Aang_ needs you. You're the only one who can help him now... You're the only one...the only one...who can save him, and put Kya back in her father's arms!" He lowered his head again, almost as if he was about to pray. "I'm begging you, Katara. I can't let Kya or Aang go on like this... please..."

Unbeknownst to Sokka, Kya hadn't fallen asleep. She had faked her slumber when her aunt came to check up on her, waiting for the right moment to go and grab her doll. She'd dropped it when Suki had picked her up earlier to put her back in bed but hadn't tried to retrieve it. As she lied in bed for a good hour and a half, she found she was unable to sleep without that cheap little doll of hers. Kya had slept with it every night and carried it with her everywhere since it had been bought for her. Sleeping without it for even a single night was more torturous than she thought, and once her aunt had come to see if she were asleep, she thought that meant Suki and Sokka would both be in bed in a matter of minutes, where she could then go and grab her doll. Instead...she found her uncle crying with some incense sticks lit and the picture of her mother placed in front of him, and then watched him fall to his knees in prayer.

She hid in the corner of the hall, peeking out and watching to him talk to her mother's spirit in some form. Tears rolled down her own flushed cheeks as she listened, and she had to hold back the sounds of crying that kept trying to escape her throat. She saw her uncle raise his head and she brought her head back behind the wall, not wishing to be seen. She didn't hear anything but his sobs. She'd hardly seen her uncle cry for as long as she knew him. He'd always been so strong, and seeing him cry like that broke her little heart. It was like a dagger struck her when she finally realized everything that was wrong with her life. Her mother was dead...her father had abandoned her...her family...wasn't a family at all... It was shattered, severed...and detached. She would always remind herself that she had Sokka, Suki, and Gramp-Gramp...but now she knew the truth of it all—she was left in their care because she had nowhere to go. If they hadn't raised her, she would have been put in the arms of strangers. Maybe...maybe that was best, she began to think. Maybe it was all because of her that their family was like this. If she hadn't been born, her Mommy wouldn't have died, and her Daddy wouldn't have abandoned her and all his friends and family. Her mother and father would still be together, in love and happy, even without a child. Kya began to tell herself that, and she fell to the ground, pulling her knees up to her chest and crying into them, wishing she hadn't been born so Daddy would be happy again, and Mommy would still be with him.

Before she knew it, her uncle was walking into the hall, heading for bed. Kya stayed hidden in her corner, trying desperately to keep her tears held back so she wouldn't be discovered. It was more difficult than she thought it would be. But she was able to pull it off; Sokka went to bed, completely unaware of his niece who'd been crying in the corner.

Kya came out of her little ball and raced into the main room of the apartment, spotting her rag doll and running for it. She accidentally tripped over herself, and practically leaped at her doll, scooping it up in her arms as she slid against the hardwood floor. It hurt, but she didn't care. She was just glad to have her father back, in whatever form he may be in... She just wished...it was her real father...

"Daddy..." she wept with the doll in her tight, grasping arms, voice trembling. "...Daddy, please come back to me."

* * *

I woke up the next morning in a pile of glass, my body sweating and my back aching, feeling as shitty as ever. This was a new low for me, waking up like this. I thought I'd endured the worst of hangovers, but clearly there was no limit for them. On top of that, it felt as if I'd woken up after being smacked by a train, and with it came a horrible fever. My clothes were damp from all the sweat emitting from my skin. I felt like vomiting, but I don't think I had enough water in my body to do even that. I must have laid there for another two hours before I figured it was time I got off my ass and try to pull together some objective for the day besides drinking half a liquor store and snorting whatever was left in that little capsule Kazuto gave me.

Which reminded me...

I rolled off the broken table, wiping as many shards of glass off my clothes as possible. After that I stumbled into the kitchen, nearly falling flat on my face at least six times as I tried to hold myself up against the wall. I looked like some mindless animal, my jaw just hanging there as drool slithered off my lips and onto the floor while my eyes were practically staring at the back of my head. Such a pleasant sight, wasn't I? Definitely a man you'd want around children. Finally, I reached the kitchen, attempting to hold myself up against a table consisting of more empty liquor glasses and bottles than my mind couldn't care less to count when it suddenly tipped over from the imbalance of weight, causing me to collapse to the floor and dislocated my shoulder when it smacked against the chair on my way down. I didn't fall alone at least. About 50 pounds worth of glass shattered against the tiled floor as well. Those bottles were willing to follow me anywhere it seemed.

I was caught in a daze, laughing to myself out of nowhere as I picked up one of the bottles that hadn't broken and eventually chucking it at a nearby wall, ending its torment of being the only one who survived while all of its brothers and sisters perished. Huh... remind you of anyone else? After needlessly creating more sharp fragments for my feet to be tortured with, I crawled toward the counter and got on my knees, desperate to reach a half-empty whiskey bottle sitting at the back. Eventually, I reached it, but after that, I was too hungover to keep myself standing. I slouched against the cabinet, twisting off the cork that kept the whiskey fresh and downing it like it were a glass of water and I'd just finished a brutal training session…as if I'd trained at all in the past couple years. By this point, it wasn't about the taste of liquor on my tongue. It was just the effect the alcohol would submit my body with, leaving my livers feeling tied up and about to burst.

After downing about half of what was left in the bottle, I took a break and allowed my arms to go limp against the floor, breathing heavily while laughing some more. I don't know what I was laughing at. Perhaps it was at myself, at how ridiculous and petty I must have looked. Or maybe it was at the whiskey, whose presence for the last five years had kept me from going insane; not that this was any better. At least if I were insane, I'd believe this was just a dream—a nightmare that just wouldn't seem to end. Maybe it'd end...maybe it finally would...if I were to end as well. Then it would all be over... I wouldn't have to deal with all this pain... I'd be able to see her again... Kya would lose her father, but would she really miss me? I'd never been there for her, I never thought about her the five years I was away. Her birthday...when I finally held her...that was just a fantasy... A fantasy of what I wished our lives could be, but also of what it can't. I thought that maybe now was the time for me to get out of here as my eyelids grew heavier, gradually coming to a close. I relaxed, my grip around the whiskey coming loose before it finally slipped out of my hand and spilled as it rolled away. My head then became heavier as well; and my mind-my thoughts-became dark and empty. I released a restrained breath, and at that moment, I felt that it was finally over...

Until...I heard her voice!

"Aang... Aang, sweetie, wake up," I could hear her say, first faintly but then clear as day. I struggled to open my eyes, but I was afraid to. I feared that once I opened them, her voice would disappear, and I would never hear it again. "Please, Aang... open your eyes, for me." I couldn't refuse her, not after this long without hearing her voice outside a dream. Unless this was yet another dream? I had to find out for myself. I opened my eyes...and there she was, on her knees hovering over me. I felt her hand caress my cheek, and at that moment I could swear I was dreaming. Her soft, smooth skin resting on me once again was enough to make me break out in tears. I had to fight against his though. I couldn't allow watery eyes to blur my vision, not when this could be the last time I would ever see her standing in front of me.

"Katara, is... is it really you?!" I questioned, not yet sure whether this was real or another of my foolish hallucinations. I hoped for the former, obviously.

"Shh," she silenced me softly, "Don't talk, just listen," she continued, cupping my other cheek in her hand. I nodded, not daring to defy her simple request. I was shaking so much I probably wouldn't have been able to. My attention was focused solely on her face, dark and silky brown hair blended seamlessly with her tan and nearly flawless skin, soft, sweet lips and cheekbones perfectly sized with the eyes of a sparkling ocean—a thing of beauty since the moment I first laid eyes on her. Only one thing disturbed me, though. She wasn't smiling. I always imagined that the day her spirit finally came to me, she'd be smiling, beaming with glee from the fact that I could see her again, living or otherwise. Instead, however, she looked to be frowning, and I was no fool to the obvious disappointment she displayed within those curved lips and furrowed brows. Her lack of happiness seemed to rub off on me after she finished silencing me. I grew worried, almost expecting what she was going to say next.

"Why are you doing this, Aang?" she asked simply, but the disappointment her face expressed has made its way to her voice as well.

I honestly did not know how to answer that; at least, not without angering her or disappointing her further. She was expecting an answer, I couldn't just throw one out there just so I could give her one. I went through multiple answers I could respond with, but none of them would be reasonable enough to accept. Finally, I just threw out whatever would escape my throat.

"I don't know…" I murmured, my eyes drifting away from hers, not able to bear the reaction she would obviously have.

"You _do_ know…" she persisted, "you just don't want to admit it."

She was right, though. At the time, I felt forced to confess that she was right, but by now I've realized that I hadn't been forced, instead, I'd felt that if anyone should know why I was letting all this happen to me, why I'd made the choices I had, it should be her. Only her…

I sighed and met her gaze again, darting at me as if I was the suspect in an interrogation, and she was the interrogator. She had always known how to squeeze the truth about anything out of me with the simplest gestures.

"You're right," I confessed solemnly.

"So please, Aang…Tell me why." Her voice had been sweet, but her true feelings were still evident.

"I didn't want to," I began, but somehow I knew she wanted the specifics, so I expanded my response, "I didn't want to raise Kya on my own. We were supposed to do it together, so I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it alone. I knew I'd have to take her into my care sooner or later after you passed, so I ran away…just like when I found out I was the Avatar." I became bitter at myself as I confessed. I had promised myself that I'd never run away from my responsibilities again, but here I was making the exact same mistake all over again. Way to go, Aang, proving yourself not only irresponsible but also selfish and childish. This is your Avatar of the generation, e

"Why come back then?" she demanded. "If you are just going to keep rejecting Kya, why come back after all these years?"

"I couldn't stay away any longer!" I snapped back at her, my eyes narrowed as I stared into hers. "I couldn't stop thinking of this place, of you and Kya, how I'd been so negligent of both of you! It was tearing me apart, and I couldn't live with myself any longer. I had to come back here, to Republic City, where we were determined to live together, raise a family—the city where you died and were buried in after we spent so long making it a peaceful place where everyone could live. That was our dream!" I growled at her, unable to control my heated outbreak. She shot back at me with equal force… It wasn't until then that it occurred to me we were having another fight, something that we hadn't had in a long time and that I somewhat missed, believe it or not.

"Then why, Aang, are you trying so desperately to taint it with your alcohol and drugs?!" she bellowed; now standing over me while I was left slouched against the cabinets. I got onto my feet to be within somewhat equal height with her. I was still a few inches taller than her. I used to tease her about my growth spurt, how I was now the alpha in the relationship. She never backed down, though. Height wasn't something that she gave in to.

"I'm not trying to taint it!" I rejected loudly in her face, practically yelling at her.

"Fine then—why are you allowing yourself to do so?" she retorted, jabbing her finger into my chest. "You aren't doing a damn thing to stop yourself—no, you are just sitting idly by while the booze and the dope make the decisions for you! You had the chance to make things right with Kya, on her birthday, but no you just _had_ to let your stubbornness get in the way!"

"I didn't know what to feel, Katara!" I threw my arms up into the air. "Ever since that night, I felt he was responsible, that he somehow convinced you to let yourself die."

She scoffed. I just realized that this whole thing had started off with her trying to be gentle and patient with me, but I had elevated it into the fight it was now…just like in the past, I just had to make things more complicated. Now that I think about it, all of this had started with gentleness and patience, the option to take the time to recover from her loss, but I had escalated it into negligence and alcohol and drugs, and a broken family. Why was I even still arguing with her?

"You really think that I would actually _allow_ myself to die, that I wouldn't do everything in my power to prevent that? Wake up, Aang! Wake up and face the truth—yes, I died that night, but you know who didn't? Kya—Sokka—Suki—my father, they are all still alive, but you are pushing them all away to the point where they hardly even want to help you anymore…" The look of anger on her face began to fade, replaced by a saddened confusion. "Why are you being so dense about this, Aang…?" she asked as she turned away from me, although I suspected it was more a question for herself than for me. I answered anyway.

Leaning back against the counter again, letting myself calm down before speaking, I looked down at the ground and muttered, "Like I said…I don't know what to feel…"

She turned back to me, now looking even sadder than before, like she was near the part of crying, her eyes already swelling up, "What do you want to feel?"

I didn't even have to contemplate that one. "Like I did before all this even happened, when we were happy and together, facing the harshest moments of our relationships, but still determined to go on no matter what happened…"

She came closer to me, trying her hardest to muscle up a smile, "Why can't you feel like that with Kya then?"

"I don't even know her…" I muttered under my breath.

"You didn't even know me when I found you in that iceberg, Aang…but if I remember correctly you were already determined to gain my friendship and trust," she argued but made her voice soft and sweet. There's that supportive nature of hers again… "Please, answer me one question as truthfully as you believe."

Like always, I couldn't turn her down. My brain wouldn't let me even if I wanted to. I nodded.

"What do you want?"

"I don't know…"

Her eyes narrowed at me sternly, "Don't say you don't know; you do know. Just tell me, please."

"I want you to come back to me—to us, both Kya and I, so we can be a family again… But that's not possible, I know...but every time I look at her or even think about her, it hurts so, _so_ much, because it always reminds me of what I've been doing to her since she was born. Every time I dream—about you, about me, about our daughter, all together as happy as can be—I want to take her back, to run away with her to someplace no one can bother us and I could raise her just like you'd want. But then I remember how much I've hurt her… She was smiling while I was at her party, but deep down, I could feel that she was mad at me. I had to force myself to look into her eyes. I wanted to avoid her. I knew that if we reunited, she would be angered with me. Sure, she was happy once she saw me, but if things had gone any further, had I taken her home that night and officially took her into my care, she'd soon enough ask why I'd left her all alone, and my pathetic excuses would draw her to hate me… How could I ask for forgiveness after all I've done?" At this point, I was sobbing, unable to control the salty tears pouring out from my eyes. "But I can't take it anymore, Katara! I do, I want to raise her…but I don't think I'd be able to handle what she'll think of me once I do."

"Won't she think worse if you don't, though?" she reasoned, "Aang, you have to think less of what _might_ happen and think more of what is _already_ happening. Stop thinking about the past; stop thinking about the future. Think about right here, right now."

Her hands cupped my cheeks and her thumbs wiped away the tears from my reddened eyes. "I've been so stubborn, haven't I?" I criticized, "I've been such an asshole…to everybody…"

"Don't forget to add a "selfish" somewhere in there," she teased playfully, somehow causing me to smile a moment.

"Thanks, that really helps, sweetie…" I said sarcastically.

"Good," her hands traveled to her hips as she leaned toward me, "Maybe it will teach you not to mess with my baby."

" _Our_ baby…" I corrected, grinning.

Her smile glowed, "Now that's what I want to hear." We gazed into each other's eyes for a while, not making a single sound. The silence was deafening. Before I knew it, I was slumping back against the counter, slowly sliding back onto the floor. My legs gave out. I had no idea why, but I'd suddenly felt tired, yawning like a bison after a full day of flying needing nothing except rest. Katara joined me on the floor, laying her head in my lap, softly caressing my leg. It felt good, feeling her touch me again.

"That's it, sweetie…" she encouraged softly, sweetly. "Go to sleep."

I began to oblige before a thought crossed my mind: when I fell asleep the first time, I woke up to her…if I fall asleep again, she might be gone. If that was the case, did that mean this was all just a dream? I wouldn't be able to handle another false dream like that, convincing me to believe she had done everything in her power to visit me, and it turned out just to be my imagination running wild. Fatigue was overwhelming me. I didn't have long before I would pass out, and I hated every minute of it…being forced away from her like this. If this were some dream, couldn't I just stay here? Couldn't I just stay, and make things right in this world? What would be the harm in that?

"K-Ka…Katara…" I called her name softly and tiredly.

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Is…Is this a…a dream? Are…are you really…h-here?" I managed to ask, the weight on my eyelids pulled them down to a close, but I tried to fight against it. My eyelids twitched from my struggle. Her caressing grew softer; she was deliberately trying to comfort me enough to put me to sleep.

I could feel her head shake gently in my lap, "It doesn't matter. It never did…" she whispered, letting her eyes close.

"…W-wait…" I argued, but fatigue had already won this battle. My vision blurred and my eyes finally close, just before she softly faded away into what I believed to be blue crystal-like orbs that drifted into the air. I hung on to that image, trying to keep it as close to my heart as possible. My head slumped to the side and I finally fell asleep…but…it felt more like I was preparing to enter a new world… I started hearing faint voices at the back of my head, shouting…but it wasn't the same as before. Those sounded more like desperation, whereas seemed like panic… _"Wake up,"_ it shouted. _"Wake up!"_

* * *

"There, that should do it," said the nurse, retracting her bloody healing water and having it float into the sink to be washed down. She admired her work on the cut, nursing it into a fleshed scar. "I wouldn't advise doing any heavy lifting or such with that arm, for the time being, Councilman Sokka. You quite nearly cut a blood vessel. Luckily your wife was able to stitch it closed until it could be properly healed."

Sokka nodded appreciatively, "Thanks for patching me up on such short notice, Jolin." He hopped off the hospital bed, bowing to her.

"No thanks necessary; it's my job. You're father's doing well, by the way. He's really been able to start putting himself back onto his feet since you saw him last…quite literally too. Why I wouldn't be surprised if he was released by the end of the week," Jolin explained, glowing as she delivered the good news.

"That's great…" Sokka replied, rather sadly.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all; just some home issues. It's nothing, really," he insisted as he approached the door, "I'll be back if it starts to swell. Thanks again," he called to her as he left the room and proceeded down the hall, passing Hakoda's room and catching a glimpse of his father—it was still early, a few hours past dawn, so it wasn't surprising that he was still asleep. However, Sokka hadn't as little as slowed down as he walked past his dozing father's room. Since he was admitted, Sokka had stopped by every day to see Hakoda once he was off work for the night. Sometimes Suki and Kya would meet him there, but most times it was just him and his father. It didn't even matter if he was asleep—Sokka would still be there, sitting there watching him sleep until visiting hours were over. It hadn't been until yesterday he'd regained consciousness, and Suki expected her husband to visit her father-in-law once he got done having his wound healed. But he didn't—just kept on walking down the hall, through the lobby and out the door into the light of the sun, slowly climbing to its peak in the sky, beaming enough heat onto the earth to keep its inhabitants from freezing this snowy winter.

There was still a nice layer of snow covering the ground, at least three or four inches of it. Sokka's breath turned to mist in the cold air as he left the hospital, trotting down the steps leading up to the entrance and onto street level. He had decided to walk today instead of taking the carriage.

He began heading down the street, intent on taking a leisurely walk to clear his mind after recent events. He didn't expect to be approached by a close friend, who rarely had the chance these days to make her presence known to him outside of professional matters.

"Hey, Sokka, didn't know you'd be here," Toph called to him, recognizing his figure with her seismic sense.

His body turned to her, easily recognizing her voice alone, "Hey, Toph. And technically, I'm not at the hospital anymore. What are you doing here? One of her officers get injured on the job or something?"

The chief turned her head towards the hospital, remaining silent for about a minute before responding, "Eyewitness—victim actually, of a mugging at about ten or so of last night. He was able to describe the guy as an earthbending male, but that was all we could get out of him before he passed out on the gurney when we reached him last night. I got word he regained consciousness this morning, so I came to get a statement from him, try to get a more specific description of his attacker."

Sokka cocked a brow, questionable of her intentions for visiting the hospital, "First off, and no offense, but you are blind. How is a description going to help _you_ specifically? And second, isn't this usually a job for one of your officers, or detectives for that matter?"

Toph's hands traveled down to her waist, "Maybe this guy is a personal friend of mine," she argued, rather persistently, "I may be blind but I can still hear y'know. I can pass the statement onto a sketch artist, asshole…"

"A personal friend, huh?" Sokka scoffed, crossing his arms. "Can't make much time for your old friends, who would really appreciate your presence these days, can you? Work is just too busy, isn't it? If it isn't professional, it just isn't worth your time."

Toph's eyes were darted at him, slit with anger. "You want to know who it is I am here to see? You really wanna know? It was to see your father, Sokka. I heard he was in the hospital and I just thought I should stop by and see how he's doing."

"You could've just said that," Sokka stated, "And for your information, he wasn't mugged by anyone. He had a heart attack…and you're a little late—it happened two weeks ago."

"I know when and what had happened, Sokka… I just found out the other day…I figured I already looked bad enough finding out about it weeks after it happened, so I figured I would go ahead and try to see him."

"You do look bad… I don't see how it took weeks for you to find out after I sent you numerous messages. Then again, you have made yourself known to be the last to hear of this kind of stuff…"

Toph's bottom lip stuck out and her lips twitched a bit, "I said…I was sorry…"

Sokka's eyes darted at her with an icy glare, "Three days, Toph! It took you three _fucking_ days to find out she had died!"

"I…was busy…" her eyes drifted from him, her body shifting.

"Busy?! That's not an excuse, Toph! Zuko and Mai heard about it less than twenty-four hours after it happened, and not three hours after that they were on their way here. You were only miles away, and it took three days, dozens of messages before you finally heard about it. We needed you, Toph! Aang was falling apart, my father would hardly speak, and I couldn't even sleep for weeks—months! You were hardly there for the service, not to mention the burial. You acted like you didn't even care that your best friend had just _died_!" Sokka erupted, shouting at her at the top of his lungs, being heard by countless bystanders who stared at them strangely.

"I _did_ care!" she screamed. "I still do! Not a day goes by that I don't think about her, that I don't regret the fact I wasn't the first to know my best friend had died giving birth. She was always there for me. She was the only person I felt I could say anything to, and not be judged… How do you think I felt when I found out that _I_ wasn't _there_ for _her_?!" Her face wrinkled up as tears started to break through the barrier of her eyes, flowing across her cheekbones to her chin, where they dripped into the snow below her. "It tore me up inside—I felt so guilty for it. I tried to stay strong, for her… I-I just couldn't stand it there, at the service. I wanted to leave as soon as I stepped inside that place. And everyone expected me to watch her be _buried_? It was bad enough I wasn't there to see her alive for her final moments, but to make the last time I ever see her be when she's put six feet underground, so she can…" her voice cracked, "…rot there? I didn't want my last memory of her to be of her being lowered into some hole. I want to remember the last time she was alive when we were all together on the island for dinner just a week before it happened. Is that so much to ask?!" Toph barked at him, quickly swerving to turn from him and burying her face in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

Sokka's face loosened up and his eyes fell to his feet, ashamed of himself, heart tearing itself apart. For so long, it had seemed Toph had taken the same route Aang had, hiding from the truth and everyone involved. She couldn't help it, though. Frankly, Sokka could no longer blame her for her actions in the past. He understood…albeit wishing Aang had the same perspective. He would never be able to forget what happened to her, but at least he would have Kya to remind him of what she wanted for them both.

She continued to sob into her palms, trying to calm herself but the tears just kept flowing. Someone's hands gripped her shoulders. Toph turned and wrapped her arms around Sokka's neck, burying her face in his shirt as she continued to cry, albeit calming down enough to where her sobs were heard only by the man she had engulfed in her arms. His hand came up to the back of her head, lightly stroking her hair to comfort her. His lips were only inches from her ear when he whispered to her, "I'm sorry, Toph… I am so, _so_ sorry for judging you like that. It's just… For so long I've felt like I needed someone to blame, but there is no one to blame. Not you, not Aang…no one."

They stood there in the snow for quite a while afterwards, Sokka continuing to stroke Toph's hair while she gradually regained control over herself. He'd never seen her like this, so vulnerable. It just gave him all the more urge to hold her, despite the image it might have reflected onto those who walked past them, smiling at them for they mistook them for a couple. Sokka didn't care though. He knew the truth, and Toph did too.

Eventually, her sobs subsided and she continued to welcome her friend's soothing embrace. A soft smile soon formed but disappeared quickly after as she broke away from him.

"Thanks, Snoozles," she teased him. "I now see how Suki has been able to stand you all these years—a regular cuddler, huh?"

"Screw you…" he retorted. That was Toph: emotional to joking in a matter of seconds.

"You would if you had the chance!" Toph continued, grinning smugly at him.

"In your dreams," he rolled his eyes playfully.

Her smug grin faded and her lips straightened to a serious mood, "So how's Aang?"

That had come so out of nowhere, it nearly made Sokka jump. "Um, I-I honestly don't know… Fine, I assume" he said, looking away from her.

"You're lying," she declared sternly. "You know how I hate liars."

Sokka groaned, "Fine, you want to know the truth?"

"It would be better than lying to my feet."

"He's high as a cloud, alright! The man has lost his mind to whatever dope he's on right now. I went over to his place last night to talk to him, and he was there just trying to irritate me into getting in a fist-fight with him. And you know what, it worked! I tried to knock one of his teeth out! Hell, I might have done worse than that, throwing him onto that glass table like that and just leaving him there."

Toph cocked an eyebrow in shock, "Wait, back up a bit. He's on drugs now, and you left him alone?! Sokka, that's the worst thing you can do to a drug-addict! Not only that, but you also left him alone with a bunch of broken glass?! Do you know the kinds of suicidal thoughts that may be rummaging through his mind right now? He could try to kill himself, you big doof!"

"How was I supposed to know?!" the councilman asked defensively.

"By actually caring…" she stated, grabbing his wrist tightly, "Come on, we gotta get to the island."

"Why do I have to go?" asked Sokka sourly.

The chief spun around to glare at him, "Because he's your best friend, you asshole. Don't you care about what he may do to himself?"

"If he doesn't want to hurt himself, he won't. If he does, why should we stop him? It's his choice to make."

Suddenly he was struck with a stern smack across the face, leaving a fainted red imprint across the right side of his face as it was jerked in the opposite direction. He refocused his vision on Toph, whose glare made him shake more than her slap.

"What the hell is the matter with you!" she demanded angrily, "I can't believe you are saying you'd rather let him kill himself than try to help him! Thank God I'm blind because if I wasn't, I'd be _disgusted_ to look at you right now!" She threw his wrist out of her grasp, clamping her fists closed.

"He's not himself anymore, Toph. He doesn't care about _anything_ anymore!"

"And that's justification to let him die, right?"

"How do you know he's even going to try anything?"

"How do you know he _won't_?" She shook her head, sighing irritably, "Fine, you know what, you can stand here all day in the snow for all I care, but I'm going to go check on him, whether you like it or not." She spun back around and started down the street, but before she could go anywhere Sokka had grabbed her wrist.

"Wait, I'm coming with you," he stated insistently, albeit sounding defeated.

"Oh, so _now_ you care because you know that as soon as I get back I'm going to kick your ass, right?"

"Just let me come with you," he pleaded, slightly annoyed.

She scoffed, "Fine, but you didn't need my permission in the first place."

Once they had stopped bickering at one another, they set off down the streets, searching for the nearest taxi-carriage to take them to the docks. With the roads so covered in snow, the trip took longer than it normally would. At least an hour had passed when the ferry to the island finally came into their view, a hundred or so yards away. Once they reached the port, they quickly shuffled out of the carriage and towards the ferry. Of course, the Acolytes recognized them from a mile away and got the boat ready for travel so they could disembark as soon as they were boarded.

With more snow being in the air than there was wind, the travel to the island had also been annoyingly slow. Once they finally docked, Toph practically jumped out of the boat rather than walking down the boardwalk, as Sokka had.

Halfway up the steps leading to the courtyard of the island, they met Anil on his way to City Hall, with Toph nearly knocking him down as they met. He luckily regained his footing and faced them.

"In a hurry, are we, councilman?"

"Sort of. Have you seen Aang this morning?" asked Sokka.

Anil shook his head, "To be honest, I don't see much of him anymore. He's normally locked up in his dorm."

"Don't you ever, y'know, check on him?" Toph questioned the Acolyte.

"Frankly, Chief Beifong, I don't see it as our place to interfere. Right now, I would say it's only those closest to him that deserves that right," he explained calmly. "Do what you need to, and I hope that last night's…" he paused for a moment, "…quarrel is forgotten between the two of you." He glanced at Sokka, face rather serious. "It's about time I should take off for City Hall. I'll make it known to the other Council members that you are taking a personal day off."

Sokka nodded at him gratefully as he took off, but turned to meet a concerned chief of police.

"Quarrel?" she questioned. "You two had a fight last night?"

"Yeah, I-I guess you could call it that. It was nothing, really…" He grabbed the upper part of his arm as he started back up the steps again, rubbing it without consideration of the lingering pain it still brought.

"There you go again, lying to me…" she huffed, crossing her arms. "Why can't you just tell me the truth? I think I deserve it after you made me break down earlier. Besides, what good does it do for you when you know I can tell whether or not you are telling me the truth?"

"Because it doesn't matter anymore… The only reason I'm coming up these steps with you is to make sure Aang is alright, and that he hasn't hurt himself. That's it. And after that, I'm going home to spend some time with my family."

"You know, you're acting _extremely_ bipolar right now… I can't tell whether you really care for him or if you just want nothing to do with him."

"Both..." he huffed. "But it's not my fault, y'know. He started it."

"Started what, the fight? That's immature of you! That's no reason to try and forget he was ever in your life. I thought you were better than that."

"You don't even know what I'm talking about," he scoffed, starting to storm up the steps with Toph following closely behind.

"Then tell me. Stop keeping me in the dark. I know I haven't been around lately, but now I am. So fill me in before I smack you in the back of that thick head of yours."

"It doesn't concern you. It's between me and him."

Toph frowned irritably, stomping the ground and producing a wall of earth from the step directly ahead of Sokka, stopping him in his tracks almost immediately to keep from losing balance. He groaned and turned to her, "Fine… It's adoption, Toph. He wants to put Kya up for adoption. He had this ridiculous belief that she should be raised just like the Air Nomads, and that includes being raised by someone else. He wants to give up all of his rights to her."

Toph cocked an eyebrow, shocked but confused. "Don't take this the wrong way, but isn't that a good thing—for you and Suki, I mean. At least until he comes to his senses, you'll know she's with good people, right?"

"I told him the exact same thing…but then he said that we wouldn't qualify because we're her relatives. He wants to give her away to strangers. You wouldn't believe the things he said afterward. I swear, I've never seen anybody so doped up in my life…"

She sighed, "You know what, I think I've heard enough… Let's just get up there and see if he's alright. Then we'll try and figure out what to do with him."

Sokka scoffed, "You can do that yourself. I told you, I'm done with him. Until he gets his act together, I don't want him anywhere near Kya."

Her eyes rolled, "You are being a real jerk, you know that right? I know I haven't seen it all as you have, but he's still your friend and you should still try and help him, if for no reason than for Kya at least."

"We'll see, Toph… To be honest, I don't even know _if_ he can be helped." Behind him, he heard the sound of rocks sliding and turned to see Toph's wall of earth being lowered. They continued up the steps onto the courtyard of the island, proceeding to the dorms where Aang's was located. It was more of a small house than a dorm, perched on the edge of the island overlooking the ocean. The two officials approached the house, where Sokka approached the door to knock on it.

"Don't bother," Toph interrupted. "It doesn't feel like anyone's home."

Sokka groaned, "He's probably out getting his booze for the day."

"It's nine in the morning!" the chief proclaimed.

"Yeah, I know. Guess he's starting early today," he murmured, crossing his arms.

He noticed Toph step forward and he cocked a brow at her, "I thought we just agreed that he's not home?"

"We did; it doesn't mean we still can't go inside. Remember, Air Temple Island welcomes all," she stated, grinning. She reached for the doorknob and turned it, expecting it to be unlocked. "See? He's practically welcoming us inside already." She opened the door and walked in, her foot pushing an empty glass bottle across the floor.

"I swear, there are more empty bottles in here than there is in a bar after Happy Hour…" Sokka said bitterly.

"Good thing I can't see then." Toph continued into the main living area of the house when she felt something faint beneath her feet. "Wait," she announced in a hush, extending her arm in front of Sokka. He stared at the back of her head strangely while she held him back. "There's someone in here…"

"But you just said that you didn't feel anyone inside. What makes you think—"

"It's faint, I can't really explain it, but there's someone in here, I know it."

He rolled his eyes and pushed through her arm, "Come on, Toph… Think for a second—who would be in here, a burglar? It's not like Aang has a bunch of money or priceless artifacts lying around. It could just be an Acolyte cleaning up the place in another room or something. Or maybe Aang is home and he's just passed out in a chair or something in another room so you couldn't sense him as well.

She shook her head, "It's not another room… it's close." She turned her head to the left, "There, in the kitchen." Sokka sighed and approached the kitchen, not really expecting to find anything. There was a wall that separated the kitchen from the rest of the house, and as Sokka got closer he noticed piles of broken brown glass—shattered beer bottles, he guessed. The next thing he noticed was the collapsed table, which caught his eye until he saw Aang's foot poking out from behind it. The limb caught all of his attention and he rushed toward the back of the tiled room, finding his friend slumped on the floor, arms and head limp and eyes closed; his skin pale, bluish, and cold to the touch.

"Toph! Get in here!" he shouted desperately as he fell to his knees beside the seemingly-lifeless body.

She rushed into the room, "What is it?" she questioned, concerned by the councilman's desperation for her aid.

"It's Aang; he's unconscious and his skin is cold," he squirmed, looking for any sign of life. He checked the monk's pulse while eyes were nearly bulging out of his skull from fright. His skin felt cold and clammy to Sokka's touch. "I-I can't feel his pulse, Toph!"

She fell to her knees beside them both, snatching Aang's arm from Sokka's grasp and checked the pulse herself. Sokka was half-right—there was hardly a pulse, but it was there, so faint that it wasn't surprising that Sokka hadn't felt it. Fortunately, she had a keener sense of vibration. "It's there, but it's faint. He's hardly breathing!" she concluded, urgently reaching her arm behind the limp man's head and softly laying him down on the floor. Toph pressed her hands against Aang's chest and began pumping it steadily, struggling to regulate the flow of oxygen to his lungs. "Sokka, go find a doctor!" she urged him.

"I'm not leaving him again, Toph!" he asserted reluctantly.

Now wasn't the time to argue; Toph quickly removed herself from Aang's chest and was immediately replaced by Sokka as she charged out towards the courtyard in search of aid, desperate to find it as quickly as possible.

"Come on, buddy," he muttered as he continued for Toph. "Don't do this to yourself, man." He started pumping his chest harder as the growing fear continued to ravage his insides. "You know I didn't mean it." Sokka started holding his breath as he focused his entire self on trying to get him breathing again. He gasped for air and pulled himself away from the still friend, wiping his forehead and proceeding to lean down towards his face, opening his mouth and breathing air into his body, proceeding to thrust against his chest some more. "Come on, Aang—breathe!" he ordered in frustration before connecting his mouth with the monk's to blow more air into his body.

A few more minutes passed and sweat had formed across Sokka's forehead. He was becoming exhausted, but reluctant to quit. The more he tried, the more hope he lost. He was doing everything he could—CPR, mouth-to-mouth, even resorting to apologizing for every second and hoping his friend would hear him and come out of unconsciousness. By now, he'd become afraid he was doing more harm than good, but couldn't take the risk of stopping. Aang was still breathing, albeit not strong enough to allow enough oxygen to reach his lungs. The manual inclusion of air from Sokka's own lungs may have been preventing this from happening, but it wouldn't work for much longer… To make things worse, Toph still hadn't returned with a doctor of any sort.

"Wake up, Aang!" he shouted at the body. "Do you really want to die like this? Are you just going to give up on yourself?" Sokka shouted, clutching his eyes shut and gripping Aang's top in his hands, unaware of the fact he'd stopped pumping his chest. He pulled at the cloth as water began to seep through his eyelids. "Don't give up, Aang! Please… I've already lost my mother _and_ my sister… Don't take my brother away as well…" his voice quivered. Shortly after, he heard a soft exhale of breath escape Aang's throat. The sound forced Sokka's eyes to pop open and gasp in horror. Out of anger, he lashed out and gripped Aang by the collar of his shirt, "No! Don't you dare die on me! Do you hear me?! Don't do this to yourself, to your family!"

Aang didn't respond, and not another breath escaping from his mouth was heard. A knife pierced Sokka's heart as he stumbled away from the body, crashing against a close cabinet as he started choking on his own tears. He had failed him for the final time, and the consequences took their toll. His failure to help Aang resulted in his death, and that had burned a larger hole in his heart than anything had ever before. He couldn't control his own breath. It was so rapid that he could hardly remain conscious. At the same time, though, he didn't feel like fighting it. He wanted to pass out, fall asleep, and wake up to find out this was just a horrible nightmare. But it wasn't…this was reality. But it became a miracle…

A soft glow began to emit from the still body's bare feet, from the tattooed arrows atop them. Slowly it began to creep up his legs, still weak yet showing signs of an effort to strengthen. The glow made its way to the spine of the Avatar, following the blue pathway and jumping over the gruesome scar and continuing upward towards his shoulders, dividing at the three separate pathways, two of them flowing across the shoulder blades while the third continued upward toward the neck. The glowing paths proceeded down both of his arms and met the arrows atop his hands. The speed of the traveling glow decreased as it reached the back of the neck. Gradually the glow began to brighten while it made its way through the arrow extending across the bald man's scalp. Just as the glow met the tip of the final arrow, a set of eyes blast open as a powerful burst of light filled the room.

As quickly as it began, the light faded and the still body jerked itself upright, breathing heavily then resorting to coughing roughly as it grabbed his chest. He could hardly control his choking cough, unable to grasp the fact that this was actually happening, leaving himself lost and unaware of everything around him. Finally, once his coughs subsided, he was able to breathe again, however irregularly and caused himself to hyperventilate and nearly pass out again. His falling body was caught by Sokka just before it hit the ground. He stared into the airbender's eyes—weak and confused, but able to recognize the face he was looking into.

"Hey, Sokka… Thanks for coming…" he said weakly as he was unwarily set up against the wall.

"Just stay awake alright, buddy. Help's on the way," Sokka assured him, still questioning why Toph hadn't returned.

He shook his head, letting his eyes drift closed, "Stupid…" Aang muttered, "Ka-Katar—Kya…" he continued to slur, shaking his head and breathing heavily.

Confusion took control. Everything blurred, became faint. The sound of something slamming alerted Aang, but not enough to refocus his senses. He saw another figure appear in the background, seemingly start kneeling beside Sokka. His voice slurred some more, incomprehensible to the others as his head continued to sway as if trying to shake something off his mind. A third figure appeared; the world he had come to know fell into an abyss, replaced by the one he had known once before.

* * *


	8. Reconciling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of now this chapter, the story is back into full production and will be updated as the chapters are written and proof-read. I am going to try to work on a new chapter after I finish another for my other story, Avatar: The Darkness Awakens. So expect a new chapter every other week or so.

* * *

**Chapter 8:  
** **Reconciling**

_I made my way to her room, unable to stop myself from seeing her. The moment I had been waiting for all my life was just hours away. I was dressed in my best robes that I reserved only for special occasions, and of course, this was one of them. We had been waiting for this day for what felt like a lifetime. The island had been decorated for the occasion and all the guests that had arrived were mingling in the courtyard of the temple until it was announced that the ceremony was about to begin. I knew that she had asked me not to see her until it was time, but I could no longer restrain myself. I knew exactly what room she was in and that made it all the easier for me to reach her as quickly as I could. Sokka had tried to convince me to be patient, but it was no longer a word in my vocabulary. I rushed over to her room, eager to see her before the big moment arrived._

_When I opened the door, Suki was standing behind her. She was finishing up her hair when I barged in, eliciting a look in the mirror towards me as Suki smiled wryly. "You just couldn't help yourself, could you?"_

" _I don't remember Toph enforcing a law where it was illegal; do you?"_

_Suki had herself positioned so that I couldn't see the woman in front of her which was clearly intentional. With the mirror angled as it was now, I could only make out Suki's face and her hands as they worked to do the person's hair. She had planned this. They knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself and they had anticipated everything._

" _That's beside the point; it's tradition!" she had retorted._

" _How much longer?" the other woman asked patiently._

" _Almost done…" Suki continued to manage the hair into the style they had decided on. When she finally finished, she placed a pin into the bundle and held up her hands, "All finished."  
_

_Suki moved aside and I could finally see her face again as it turned to greet me with a wide smile._

" _What do you think, Daddy?"_

_My heart skipped a beat when I was finally able to lay my eyes on my daughter, fully grown into an eighteen-year-old woman wearing her wedding dress. Her silver-gray eyes sparkled under the makeup. She was absolutely beautiful. She looked just like Katara when she was her age but was accompanied by her own set of blue-arrowed airbending tattoos. My daughter was just like me, a prodigy who was able to earn her traditional markings by the time she was eleven. Seven years had passed since that day when I had unveiled her to the Acolytes, the first Airbending Master in over a hundred and twenty years. My eyes began to water as I took it all in. Her face was that of her mother's; she had my eyes, ears, and nose, and her brown hair was just as beautiful as Katara's as it was now put up into a bun where her veil sat flipped back to reveal her face. She wore her mother's necklace, the same that had been passed down through her family for generations now. It was not the only thing that had been passed down to her, though. She wore the same dress that Katara had worn for our wedding day. It was pure white and flowed all the way down to her feet, with a skirt over the dress itself with a light blue design that resembled a swirling wave. Across her waist, she had a blue sash with Water Tribe designs. She had insisted on wearing it so that she could feel as close to her mom as possible; from the first time she mentioned it I had no intention of refusing her. It made the day all the more perfect._

_Suki moved to another room as I approached Kya, my little airbender who was not so little anymore. I walked closer to her and took in more of her beauty as I smiled at her._

_"You're absolutely breathtaking…" I told her as I approached her, running my fingers through the side of her hair. We both turned to look into the mirror. I realized at this moment just how old I was becoming. I was now forty-six and my beard was becoming grayer by the day. My face had gathered more wrinkles since I had hit forty and there would surely be more, but Kya's skin was flawless. We both looked at another in the mirror as a tear began to develop in her eye._

" _Oh no, sweetie, no tears… Not today," I told her as I wiped it away for her._

" _I'm sorry, Daddy; I was just thinking about Mom. I wish she was here today…" she spoke softly, and her voice shook ever so slightly. I had to restrain myself from coming to tears myself. I had to stay strong for her, for Katara._

" _She is, in here," I gestured her necklace, "Mom is with you everywhere you go, and she's here with us now…" As I looked up into the mirror again, I could see the image of Katara forming beside our daughter, dressed up for the occasion herself as we both had a hand rested on her little girl's shoulder and smiling proudly as ever._

_Kya laid her first two fingers on the necklace as she closed her eyes and smiled, "I know: you're right, Dad…"_

_Suki returned with the bouquet of flowers that Kya had picked out for when she would soon walk down the aisle. Kya received them from her happily, wiping away the other tears that had formed._

" _Thank you, Auntie, for everything. I don't know how I could have done any of this without you."_

_Suki smiled and hugged her niece who wrapped her arms around her tightly, "Always, dear. I will always be here for you," she pulled away and looked her in the eyes, "and so will your daddy and Uncle Sokka… Which reminds me," she turned her gaze to me again, "I thought he was supposed to keep you out of the way until we were finished?"_

" _You expected Sokka to keep me from seeing my daughter on her wedding day?"_

" _Fair enough," she giggled softly to herself before turning back to Kya, "Well, sweetie, are you ready?"_

_Kya took a deep, relaxing breath before nodding softly and turning to me, "Ready as I'll ever be." I opened my arm for her to take as I smiled and kissed her forehead. Suki left before we did, making her way to the archway where the crowd was now awaiting father and daughter to walk down the aisle together, for me to give her away to the man she had chosen to marry._

_We walked together to where the blue carpet walkway had been set up between rows of white benches. Music began to play as she and I walked together down the aisle where the man she would soon be marrying waited for her at the end. He was a kind man; one she had known for over a decade now. He was her best friend, her first real crush, her first date, her first dance… and now her one and only husband-to-be. The two of them reminded me so much of Katara and myself. Sokka awaited us at the end of the aisle; Kya had insisted that her uncle officiated the wedding. As bridesmaids, Suki had taken her place beside Toph, who for the first time in two decades, was wearing a dress for the occasion. As we walked through the aisles there were many familiar faces, their friends, and the Air Acolytes that she had grown up knowing. Once she had reached her place at the altar it was time for us to separate. Though the distance was only a little over a dozen feet as I took my seat, it felt like she was now a world apart from me. I sat beside Hakoda, who was now in his late seventies, and we shared glances. He must have seen the water in my eyes because he promptly rested his hand on my shoulder and gave it a comforting grip as he smiled at me proudly._

_For eighteen years I had raised her on my own. Her mother had passed after giving birth, and ever since it had just been Kya and me. Her Aunt Suki and Uncle Sokka were always close by, and her grandfather would visit as frequently as he was able. Kya may have never met her mother, but she knew her as closely as she ever could have if she were still with us. I told her every story I had about her, and she knew that her parents were soulmates from the beginning. My sweet little airbender may have grown up without a mother, but her heart was just as full of love from the family and the father that Katara had left behind for her. It had been my duty to give her that much, and it was that moment that I knew, despite all the challenges, that I had been successful. I could see her looking at me every so often, telling me silently 'thank you' as she gave her vows._

" _Aang, it's time to go…"_

_I turned and saw Katara in a ghostly form, holding her hand out to me. I shook my head no, "Not yet…" I told her, but it hadn't been a request. Before I knew it, I was on the ground, clutching my chest as the crowd surrounded me. My body was lying still as I saw Kya hover over me in fear, shouting my name, and crying for help. My friends tried their best to help, but there was nothing they could do. I saw Katara hanging over me, caressing my cheek as her lips moved. Although I could not hear her voice, I knew what she was saying. It was my time. I had done my job… and it was time for me to join my soulmate…_

* * *

I suddenly gasped and my eyes opened. For a moment, I had no idea where I was or if I was even alive. I looked around and found out that I was in my room, our room, in our home. I was in the same bed that we had shared for ten years, stripped down to nothing but my underwear, and nestled inside the sheets. I found a needle in my wrist that was hooked up to a tube connected to an I.V. bag. I felt incredibly weak, as though I had awoken from an age-long slumber. I had felt my entire life pass in a dream. For five years, my dreams had always been about the life I could never have; a life where Katara had lived and we were able to raise our daughter together, but not this one. This one was unlike any other; I had been able to cope without her in my life and was able to raise our daughter on my own until my time in this world came to an end. Just like in the past, I had been able to remember every detail about my dream even after I awakened. I raised Kya on my own and she turned out to be a beautiful and strong young woman who was on her way to getting married. That dream brought me so much joy, despite its grim ending. Maybe… this was my chance to make it a reality. I realized then that whatever time I had left, I wanted to spend it with her. I was now determined to bring Kya into my arms, forever and always, and to be the father that she deserved.

The last thing I remembered was Katara speaking to me, coaxing me to return to the light before everything went black. Now I was in my bed with fluid being forced into my veins where I awoke to a world that I barely recognized anymore. For five years now I had given up on my family, on my daughter, and on myself. I felt all my shame come flooding down on me like a burst dam. How could I have lived all this time acting the way I had? I remembered Sokka's words from the last time I had seen him: "You were my brother, Aang. Now, you're nothing to me…" He was right to say that. With everything I had done, I did not deserve his brotherhood.

But yet, there he was, sitting in a chair across the room with his head leaned back as he was passed out asleep. I looked out the window; it had to be sometime in the afternoon, so why was he here asleep in a chair?

I looked again at the I.V. beside me. Something happened to me… I don't remember what, but I knew it had to be bad. Sokka had given up on me, and yet he was here waiting for me to wake up. I had a feeling that maybe I had been closer to death than I had realized.

Sokka woke himself up with a loud, grunt-like snore. He shook slightly in his chair before he regained his senses. He turned and saw me sitting upright in my bed. I waved to him awkwardly and he smiled, getting up from his chair and approached me.

"Good to see you back with the living, buddy."

I let out a soft chuckle, "Likewise…" I broke eye contact with him for a moment, "What happened?"

"Doctors said it was alcohol poisoning; you went into respiratory arrest and stopped breathing," he explained timidly. "Toph and I found you just in time. I did everything I could but, I think your Avatar Spirit took over or something. You were gone, but it brought you back."

I shook my head, "No, Sokka, it was you who brought me back. I'm sure of it…" I smiled at him as a tear began to form in my eye, "I don't deserve you, man... You put up with all my bullshit."

"We are family, airhead; it's my job to put up with it," he rested a comforting had on my shoulder as he took a seat in the chair beside the bed.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"Almost two weeks. After you started breathing again, you slipped into a coma. I pulled every doctor and healer that I could, and we set you up in here. They come by every few hours to check on you."

"Does Kya know?"

Sokka seemed taken aback by my question. I realized then that this had been the first time I had ever shown that I cared about what my daughter thought of me.

"She knows that you haven't been feeling well; that's all we have told her."

"And Hakoda, is he feeling better?"

Again, he seemed confused by my inquiry. "He was released a few days ago. He's watching over Kya right now."

"Where is Suki?"

"She insisted on coming with me today. She had a feeling it would be a good day," he chuckled softly. "Guess she was right. She's helping the Acolytes with dinner right now."

"Can you bring them all here?"

"You need to rest, and then we will talk about it," he told me firmly as he leaned back into his chair.

I shook my head, "I'm tired of resting, Sokka. I've spent the last five years of my life trying to avoid all of you. I need to see them," I told him just as firmly, my eyes determined towards his.

"Fine, but I need something from you first."

"Anything," I answered simply.

Sokka reached into his pocket and pulled out the rolled-up documents that I had a lawyer write up the night I had told Sokka and Suki that I was planning to give Kya up for adoption. It was those records that had prompted our brawl in my living room. I remembered gaining the upper hand on him, but he lashed out and I ended up crashing into the glass center table and subsequently passed out on top of the debris. That was when he had said that I was nothing to him. I could tell now, looking back on it, that he had not come looking for a fight that night. He wanted to convince me to change my mind about the adoption, but I was too wasted and angry at life to care what anyone else had thought. I was determined to get Kya out of my life once and for all so that I would never have to face her; she would never have to grow up knowing her that her Uncle and Aunt had to take it upon themselves to raise her because her father had become such a waste of life and wanted nothing to do with her. Thinking on it now, it made no sense at all; I was cruel, and it was wrong. Sokka held the documents out in front of me, his smile had long disappeared, and he looked angry, at me in particular.

"Burn them. And I swear to God, Aang, if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I will fight you tooth and nail on it until my dying breath. Do you understand?"

I looked at the papers for a moment and was surprised he had not destroyed them himself, which I promptly brought up.

He gave me a deadpanned look, "That would be illegal, first off. And second, it would not change anything. You're going to burn these and tell your lawyer that they were a mistake, or you will never see your daughter again. I'll make sure of it."

I did not take a moment to react, promptly taking the papers from him and creating a small flame on the thumb that began to spread quickly. Sokka grabbed a small bowl from the table beside the bed and the papers turned to embers and ash inside of it. Sokka seemed genuinely surprised that I had actually done it.

My brother took his seat in the chair again. He had this odd look on his face like he was trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle as he looked to the floor. "Why the sudden change of heart?" he finally asked, barely looking up at me.

"I think you would lock me up in the looney-bin if I told you," I admitted sheepishly.

He scoffed softly, looking into my eyes, "Try me."

I took a moment to gather my words and took a deep breath. "I don't know if it was a dream or a vision, a visit from the great beyond or just my own conscience manifesting in front of me, but before you found me… I saw her, Sokka. I saw Katara; she came to me and I remember that we talked like we always did when I was dealing with something that I could not handle by myself. She made me open my eyes, and I realized what I was becoming." I tried to keep my composure as I spoke, but soon I could feel the presence of tears forming in my eyes. I held them back determined to finish my explanation. "For so long, I was only focused on myself and on my own pain. I lost Katara, but it was more than that. I lost myself without her in my life. I felt like the world was punishing me for disappearing for a hundred years… The world had taken my people, but I had still been able to find happiness, and it had to take what I had left away from me."

Sokka sat there listening with barely a reaction as I continued. "I was afraid to feel anything for anyone anymore. But it was more than that. I was selfish. I did not want to raise Kya on my own. Seeing her just reminded me of the pain, but I couldn't stay away. I was still drawn to this place, just like all those years ago when we all promised to turn it into something great."

"What do you want now…?" he finally spoke, sounding almost relieved but skeptical all the same.

I smiled at him. "I want to raise my daughter, Sokka. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, especially after everything, but I hope you can all find it in your hearts. I want to make things right; that's why I want to see you all, at the same time. I need to own up to what I have done, and I want you all to know that, moving forward, I am going to be the best father and brother that I can be."

Sokka stood and looked me in the eye, "No more drinking, no more smoking; no more… whatever it was that you were doing before. Do you promise that?"

I nodded to him, "I promise; I swear on Katara's grave, that is all over now."

"Alright then. The day after tomorrow is Saturday. I'll give you a day to get yourself ready, and then all six of us are going to have dinner here, in this house. Just like we used to do. Can you do that for me, Aang?"

"Sounds like a plan to me."

* * *

Those forty-eight hours were some of the longest of my life. Shortly after our talk, Sokka informed the doctors that had been tending to my recovery that I was awake again. They ran some tests and made me stay bedridden for the rest of the night but cleared me free of their care the next morning. I was left alone in that empty house, and admittedly there was a habitual part of me that was tempted to find a cigarette or a beer. It had become a regular part of my daily life. I no longer felt the craving, but without the chemicals in my body anymore, I almost did not know what to do with myself in my alone time. I stayed strong, though. I did it for her; for Kya. I was back to wearing my old clothes, an outfit I wore when not tending to my Avatar duties. It was a red shirt with long yellow sleeves and a red sash that went across my shoulder down to my waist, paired with red pants and brown boots. I shaved my head bald again; my hair had grown a few centimeters while I was comatose. Thankfully, the house had been cleaned and fixed back to its former state by Suki and the Acolytes during my recovery. You would not have known that a fight had taken place here. The stench of alcohol and smoke was slowly but surely fading away from the numerous candles that had been set up since they had found me. I took it upon myself to do some redecorating as well.

I searched through all my old photos, what few I had since photography had only become a common thing around the time of mine and Katara's wedding. It was expensive, but I was determined to have as many photos taken of us on our big day. There was one photo of her and I with Sokka back on Ember Island sometime after we had gotten married. I think I was about twenty-four at the time. Sokka and I had our shirts off while Katara was in her swimming attire. I remember that trip fondly. We had all decided it was time to have a vacation away from Republic City. We had asked Suki and Toph to join us, but they were too busy with the police force at the time. Toph oversaw training the metalbenders while Suki taught the nonbenders how to chi-block. As it was, it was just the three of us, the original Team Avatar, as Sokka called our little gang back then. We all looked so happy, spending time together and renting a small home on the shore. I smiled and decided to keep it out. When I dug deeper though, I found a portrait that had been made of us both when we were still young. We must have been around sixteen at the time. We had decided to pose together for our first real painting together, but I couldn't stay still. I was behind her with my arms wrapped around her waist while she leaned against me, her head laying on my shoulder as her hand held mine. I remember the artist nagging at me to keep still, and Katara teasing me to do the same. She leaned in my ear and whispered something that I found hilarious and we both laughed loudly as we stood in each other's arms. I guess he had been able to capture that moment, because instead of straight blank smiles he had painted us laughing together. I looked at that picture and I was nearly lost in my tears. He had captured our faces perfectly in laughter. I had no idea why this had found its way in a box. It deserved to be on display…

I brought myself back together and took the two pictures and sat them on the fireplace mantle in the living room. I took inspiration from the memorial that Sokka and Suki had set up in their home. Sometime that day I went out and bought a bunch of panda-lilies that I later put into two vases of water beside the pictures of us. Along with it, I had picked out a photo of the self-proclaimed "Team Avatar", all six of us who traveled the world together, fighting to bring peace to the world. We were all there: Katara, Sokka, Suki, Toph, Zuko, and me. I felt it was only right that Kya knows that family is more than blood; it is the people who are closest in your life. Katara may be gone, but she would always have the rest of us. We would always be there for her; I made that idea one of my goals moving forward that night.

For the rest of the day, I joined the Air Acolytes in meditation and meals. I took the time to visit Appa and apologized for my behavior a few weeks prior. My old friend was reluctant to accept my apology at first, but eventually he forgave me and we went for a ride over the city, for the first time in five years, even though I was technically still on house arrest. I had almost forgotten the feeling of flying, the breeze against my body and seeing the city lit up below. I almost expected to find Katara in the saddle behind me. I reminisced on all those times we had taken Appa flying over the years to get away from the world below and spending hours in the sky, just her and I. As teens we did all kinds of things in Appa's saddle, some of which were just not appropriate. I chuckled softly. I could see our teenage forms embracing each other as we made out in the sky, and Appa occasionally groaning like an adult telling us to knock it off or he would drop us in midair.

By the time nightfall had arrived, we had landed, and I was there in my friend's stable spending as much time with him as I could. I had abandoned him like everyone else, and I could only imagine how worried he was when I left one day and almost never came back. It was the longest we had ever been apart. I trusted my old steed with the truth of my actions. I think we were both reminded of the time he had been stolen; I had reacted quite similar when Katara passed to when he was taken in the desert. I had let my grief and anger consume me until I stopped feeling anything at all. I remembered the night Katara had tried to help me on that cliff beneath the moonlight while we were traveling on the Serpents' Pass.

Finally, the day had arrived. I had to look my best. I must have spent over an hour in the mirror making sure my face was clean and presentable. I probably shaved my head twice before I was convinced it was as smooth as possible. After that, I spent over an hour in the kitchen making dinner. I didn't want any of them to have to do anything. This was my home, and they would be my guests. I had made a dish that Katara used to make for me back in the day. It was a combination of a dish from both our cultures, with a vegetarian option for me and a meaty option for her.

I eventually heard a knock on the door and fixed my outfit before answering it. Sokka, Suki, Hakoda, Toph, and Kya had all made it. They were dressed in what Sokka would consider "semi-formal" attire. Toph was surprisingly out of uniform herself. When I finally saw Kya, I had to stop myself from scooping her up in my arms and running away with her. She was shy as usual, hiding her face in Suki's shoulder as I welcomed them into my home. They seemed to force a smile and thanked me. I still was not sure if they were entirely convinced of my promise to change and to go back to the way that I was before that night all those years ago.

I think that a part of us just did not know how to act around one another anymore. The last time I was around Sokka and Suki like this, I had almost returned to my original self that night, but I let my irrational anger towards Hakoda destroy everything. We had made our way into the living room and taken seats on the couches, while I sat in a recliner near the fireplace. None of us really spoke to another for the first twenty minutes or so. It was incredibly awkward. Even Kya was quiet as she had her face buried into her aunt's shoulder. To her, this was a strange place. She had no idea that this house was supposed to be her home. She seemed to want to leave but Suki tried to relax her. At that moment I was saddened. Suki had taken on the motherly role for Kya. When I left my daughter in her and Sokka's care she had to quit the police force. She was once Toph's captain in the ranks, but with Sokka being on the Council and having to care for a newborn child, she gave up her position and committed herself to being a stay-at-home mother. I could never thank her enough for that. I could see it now that, despite the inability to have children of her own, Suki would have been a wonderful mother. I was beyond overjoyed that Kya had been able to grow up to this point with a motherly figure in her life.

To break the silence, Suki asked Kya to go play in one of the other bedrooms while the "adults" talked for a few minutes. Suki had brought a few toys in a bag for her. I had a feeling they had planned this. They were not going to give me another chance to break her heart before they had taken the time to speak to me personally. I suddenly realized what this really was. Sokka had set this up not only to bring us all together again, but for some kind of intervention. I was confused by the idea. I had already expressed my desire to change; was that not enough? I always thought the point of an intervention was to bring to mind all the mistakes that had been made and implore that the person changes their ways. I figured everything I had been able to do in the last forty-eight hours was proof of that, but I guess they all needed further convincing.

Suki rejoined her husband on the couch. They were all looking at me (with the exception of Toph, obviously) with this look in their eyes. I could not really explain it. On one hand, it felt like they were ready to walk out the door and never see me again; on the other, they seemed concerned.

"You said you wanted to talk," Sokka finally broke the silence, crossing his arms, "so talk. Get it all out, and then we will see what happens from there."

I nodded. I hadn't realized up until now how much Sokka had changed in the last five years. He had become hardened. He no longer cracked jokes the way that he used to; he was much more serious now. His personally still shined through the cracks, of course, but they were fewer and farther in between. I considered it had all been an effect of everything he had gone through since his sister's passing. He had to help raise his niece as a father would, since hers was off on the other side of the world doing God knows what. He was on a Council that governed the entire nation and that no doubt brought its own level of stress.

I took a moment to gather my thoughts as I was honestly unsure of where to begin. I could not just start off by saying I wanted Kya back; they would not go for that. I had to own up to everything. I had to apologize for everything I had done.

I turned to Hakoda first. Of them all, the distance between us had been the greatest. "That night, when she died…" I began solemnly, "I did not want to accept that it had happened. I needed someone to blame for it all, and I twisted it up to put you at fault, Hakoda. You were trying to keep me strong that night, to help me hold onto hope. I didn't listen though. For so long I relied on her to be my hope, and when she was taken from us, I lost mine. It turned into anger and hatred and I directed a lot of it towards you, and myself."

"She was your daughter long before she was my wife, but I had convinced myself that she let herself… let go… because you told her it would be hard on her. It was a stupid and irrational way to think. I… I'm sorry, Hakoda. You have been a father to me for all these years, ever since Katara brought me home for the first time. I needed your guidance, but I created a divide between us that I would not let you cross, until now."

I could tell that my father-in-law was taking in my words and debating how he would respond to them. His stern and stoic demeanor soon vanished, and a somber frown took over.

"When Kya was killed, I left my home to go fight in the war. My kids were barely even teenagers yet, and I had devoted my entire being to fighting the Fire Nation. I always told myself that I was doing it for her, to avenge her death and give my children a better life where they would not have to be afraid. But it had all been an excuse. I was just running away from having to face a home where she wasn't. I became selfish, leaving my children with their grandmother while I avoided the pain."

I started to realize just how much alike we were. For so long I saw Hakoda as the perfect example of man and father, but he had faults too. We had both run away from our families when they needed us most.

"I understand your pain, Aang… I went through it myself. When I saw was happening to you, I was angry at you… but I was also angry at myself. I saw myself in you. My children longed for the day when they could see their father again, just like Kya when she finally saw you. If you really are going to change, and you are committed to be a father then, son, I forgive you."

He stood from his chair and held out his arms. I saw Katara in his image, begging me to return the sentiment. I stood and we hugged for the first time in five years. Despite everything, I was still one of his children. He would give me the chance to change, and I made yet another vow to be the absolute best father that I could be, in his honor. I thought back to my dream that I had before I awakened from my coma; that proud look that was in his eyes when we both knew I had raised Kya well. I needed to see that look on his face again one day.

After we separated, he returned to his seat. I was left standing and I turned to my brother and sister. "I need to say something to you both that I don't think I've taken the time to say before," I began again. "Thank you for taking care of Kya these last few years," I bowed to them respectfully. "When I left, you were only supposed to be caring for her for a few weeks, but then I never came back, and you had to continue raising her on your own. I can only imagine how painful it was for you both."

"I lost my wife…" I turned towards Sokka, "…but you lost your sister. I never took the time to really understand how you must have been feeling. I left you to raise her daughter while I was off destroying myself. I can only imagine how painful that must have been."

I turned my gaze to Suki now. They both were still sitting and listening, but I knew they were taking in every word. "Suki, you've done an amazing job with her, and I can never repay either of you. I'm sorry for all the things I said to you and Sokka about having to play pretend with Kya because you couldn't have kids of your own. It was cruel and I was out of line. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me." I bowed to the woman who had played a motherly role in my daughter's life, then turned back to my brother. "You did everything you could to help me, but I was too stubborn and blinded by the drink to accept it. I'm sorry for trying to take her away from you both, from all of us. And I am sorry for fighting you."

"Thank you, Aang." It was Suki who spoke first. Sokka still seemed to be contemplating whether he would accept my apology. "I did my best; I tried to raise Kya in a way that would make Katara proud." Sokka put his hand on his wife's shoulder as she spoke.

"I know you did, and I know that if she were here, she would tell you just how proud she is of you, just like I am now."

She struggled to hold back the tears, but I think those words were just too much for her. She covered her mouth as she began to sob quietly. _This is probably the first time she's cried since that day,_ I thought to myself. If I knew Suki like I thought I did, I know that she stayed strong all these years for Kya and Sokka both. She had to take all the pain she felt from losing the friend that she thought of as a sister and seal it tight so that she could be strong for her husband and niece. Now, she was finally able to have peace within herself and express the pain she had held in for all these years. Sokka embraced her tightly as her face was flooded with tears. His chin rested in her hair as he tried to hold in the same tears himself. He took a moment to glance at me and smiled with a nod. He accepted my apology.

I hadn't realized it but Toph sat with her arms crossed in her chair with her head to the floor. She was shaking; her eyes were covered by her hair. I moved towards her and I could begin to hear her sobs as well.

"I don't want to hear it, Twinkle-toes." I could hear her voice shaking as she talked. "I don't need an apology from you."

I smiled slightly, "Maybe not, but I never told you that I forgive you for not being there. I did not want to be there myself; I forced myself to go. I would give anything if the last time I saw her was when she was happy, smiling, and alive…"

She wiped her eyes with her wrists, "She was my sister too…"

I knelt beside my old friend with a comforting hand on her shoulder as tears began to roll down my cheeks, "And you were hers."

We gathered in the first group hug we had shared since she was alive and released all our tears. A year ago, I would have looked at us and thought of how pathetic we looked, mourning a woman who had already been dead for years. It was more than that, though. It was the first time since her passing we had all been together in that house. I could see the pictures I set up on the mantle above the fireplace. It was just a photograph, but she was looking right at me with that great big smile of hers. I knew at that moment, wherever she was, that she was now truly resting in peace. We were a family again, but there was still one thing missing…

I soon broke away and wiped my face as I looked at my brother and his wife, "Can I go see her?"

They exchanged a glance and nodded before turning back to me. "Go ahead, buddy. She's waited long enough," Sokka encouraged me. He didn't have to say it; we were brothers again.

I walked past the living room and down into the hall where the other bedrooms were. I remembered when I built this house, Katara insisted we have at least three bedrooms alongside the master. She wanted three kids and for them all to have their own room once they got older. I always wanted at least six children, but I was plenty blessed to have the one I did now. Unbeknownst to Suki, she had set Kya up in the same bedroom Katara and I would have when she was old enough. When I opened the door, Kya was playing with a few of her toys and turned to see me. She was on her knees and shifted her body to turn to me. I smiled softly as I took another step into the room and entered a low squat in front of her.

"Hi, sweetie…"

She seemed shy and scared of me, but she finally looked back and met my eyes, "Hi, Daddy."

Hearing her call me _daddy_ again set my heart aflutter just as when she had first said it on her birthday. I tried to figure out what I would say next, but in the end, I owed her the same thing I had given everyone else: an apology.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," I began. "Daddy was just… Daddy was upset at Gramp Gramp for something stupid, but I told him I was sorry for being angry. We are friends again," I explained to her, trying to simplify things as best I could so that her young mind could understand. She seemed to understand because she nodded, but she was still shy. The moment that I dreaded for years was finally here, and I had more explaining to do. "Daddy is also sorry for not being around, Kya. I was… I was sad about mommy, and I did not want you to be sad too. I thought I was doing a good thing by leaving you with Uncle Sokka and Auntie Suki, but Daddy was wrong."

Kya raised her head a little higher as she was now looking directly into my eyes. "Are you leaving again?"

"No, sweetie. I'm not going to leave, not ever again…"

"Then… will you come back to me now?"

I finally fell completely to my knees in front of her. I felt weak by her words and I about fell over but was supported by my arms as I struggled to pull my head up from staring at the floor while water flooded my eyes. All she ever wanted was her dad back. I realized now, she was never afraid or shy of me. She did not want to be rejected by her daddy again. She was already smarter than I was when I was her age.

"Yes… Yes, Kya, I want to come back to you. I want to be your daddy again."

Kya began to take a step forward and seemed almost reluctant before she sped towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I was afraid to hold her for a moment. I did not want to let her down again. If I was going to bring her into my arms, I had to be ready for everything that would come after. The image of her in my dream flashed in my mind and my arms locked around her body, pulling her closer to me as she began to cry into my shoulder. My tears followed with hers as I held my daughter in my arms as tight as I could without hurting her. We were both crying our eyes out now. I must have said sorry to her about a dozen times and she always squeezed her arms tighter around my neck with each word. When I could finally see through my tears, I saw the toys she had been playing with. Just like the last time I had seen her, she was carrying around a little stuffed ragdoll in my image, but there was another one beside it, one I had never seen until that moment. It looked like her mother, with blue buttons for eyes and a tail-like braid behind her head just like the hairstyle she had worn for those first few months that we traveled the world, and who could forget her iconic hair loops. All this time, she had been playing with the parents she never had. Our dolls were laying beside another as though they were holding hands.

I must have kissed Kya's head about a hundred times after that, promising her that I would never let her go ever again. I would be the best daddy I could be for her. She cried louder as I said the words, but I could tell that they were cries of joy. Unbeknownst to me, my family had soon made their way into the doorway to see what all the crying was about. They found me on my knees with Kya in my arms, her face buried in my shoulder with my own buried in her hair. They were smiling with tears of joy and embracing another. The family was whole again.

Sometime after I was able to stop crying, I told Kya that I had something to give to her. She looked confused but she nodded anyway. I took her to my bedroom, the one where her mother and I had slept before she was born. I set her down on the bed and told her to wait there as I dug into my dresser across the room. _It's in here somewhere_ , I thought to myself as I rummaged through the clothes. I had not set my own eyes on it since I had left for the Fire Nation. Finally, my fingers found it. It was a thin rectangular box with a soft-blue flock covering it. The top of the box had the elemental symbol for waterbending. I carried the box over to my daughter and set it in her hands.

"Open it," I told her softly while smiling. When she opened it, she found the necklace that he had always seen her mommy wearing in all the pictures that her Uncle Sokka had of her in their home. She never saw her mother without it, though she still did not know the true significance of it.

I pulled the necklace out of the case and held it up for her to see. "This necklace was very special to Mommy, Kya. A long time ago, your great Gran Gran gave this necklace to your mommy's mother, and then she gave it to Mommy. It's been passed down to the daughters of our family for a few generations."

Kya seemed to understand as her eyes were fixated on the necklace. I continued, "This necklace was Mommy's greatest treasure before you were born. Before Gran Gran passed, she gave this necklace to Mommy. Your mother may be gone, Kya, but she will always be with you, in this necklace…" I explained to her as I fastened the fabric around her neck. She looked down at it and placed her fingers on it, feeling the design on the pendant. "Never forget this, Kya: you are mommy's greatest treasure."

She smiled widely and went towards the mirror so that she could look at herself wearing Katara's choker. I moved to stand behind her and rested my hands on her shoulders as we looked into the mirror together, as father and daughter.

* * *


End file.
